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violetdr3amer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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17 May 2021, 4:04 pm

SpottedMushroom wrote:
Sounds like you did too well :lol: but, right, the problem is people don't want you to be yourself, which is not okay. at the same time, I would settle for being seen as intimidating...have you seen the absolute thirst over that video game vampire lady??


Which video game vampire lady? :p

I'm an artist so I'm quite aesthetically gifted.

Being intimidating isn't that fun - back when I moved in alternative circles, people would accuse me of being a sociopath and make up and spread lies about me... it wasn't fun! I used to get quite hurt by the sociopath accusations but now it just makes me laugh. On the rare occasions that I go out and see those people, they look at me like I'm a murderer or something *sigh*

The trouble with looking intimidating is that I would attract people, especially guys, who wanted me to be their cool goth trophy girlfriend... obviously the autism was off-putting. So I would get love bombed and then discarded quite a lot. I can't be bothered with any of it anymore. I didn't choose the hermit life - the hermit life chose me lol



SpottedMushroom
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17 May 2021, 7:59 pm

violetdr3amer wrote:
SpottedMushroom wrote:
Sounds like you did too well :lol: but, right, the problem is people don't want you to be yourself, which is not okay. at the same time, I would settle for being seen as intimidating...have you seen the absolute thirst over that video game vampire lady??


Which video game vampire lady? :p

I'm an artist so I'm quite aesthetically gifted.

Being intimidating isn't that fun - back when I moved in alternative circles, people would accuse me of being a sociopath and make up and spread lies about me... it wasn't fun! I used to get quite hurt by the sociopath accusations but now it just makes me laugh. On the rare occasions that I go out and see those people, they look at me like I'm a murderer or something *sigh*

The trouble with looking intimidating is that I would attract people, especially guys, who wanted me to be their cool goth trophy girlfriend... obviously the autism was off-putting. So I would get love bombed and then discarded quite a lot. I can't be bothered with any of it anymore. I didn't choose the hermit life - the hermit life chose me lol


Image
Lady Dimitrescu of course lol

But yeah, that sounds like a tough run :( I wonder if people were just jealous of you and wanted you to act meek to avoid attention? Or what they thought should be their attention. I would think if someone found you intimidating, they wouldn't feel comfortable confronting you about it. Sociopath huh....I think many people use terms as insults when they don't actually know what they mean.
But that really sucks :( I felt that way back when I put effort into blending in, because people don't look too hard, but eventually they do see through it.



Summer_Twilight
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18 May 2021, 11:01 am

violetdr3amer wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Spotted Mushroom, I feel the same way too. Though I don't care about impressing other women, I have been doing some research on the way women dress, wear their hair, and make-up . So I went out and recently bought a few things so I would blend in.

Yesterday, I ran out to run some errands and I happened to put on make-up, fix my hair, and dress like the women I research. Though I was still uncomfortable, it helped. Other things, I have a problem with talking and sometimes it comes out awkward so I:
1. Made small talk about some samples at a new food court option but didn't talk a lot
2. I said as little as possible
3. I was as polite as I could be

Otherwise I went about my business and no one gave me any stares

Appearances - I wear a short pixie right now and I am wearing make-up and other mild accessories so I look more feminine but not the super preppy type. Rather, I am into the stripped t-shirts with long cardigans and denim jackets or vest with leggings. I mainly dress this way so I mask because I live in an area where women are pretty superficial. Still, I am learning not to talk all the time. Rather, I have learned to just exchange "Hi," with people.

Was I burned out by the time I left? Yes.


I used to be very preoccupied with clothes, make-up, hair, my weight etc (pre diagnosis) in a desperate attempt to fit in. This actually backfired, because other girls have told me that I was intimidating and they assumed that I was arrogant because of the way I looked (and I have to say I looked f*****g good). It didn't really work for me, because no matter how good my make-up was or how cool my outfits were, I am blunt, intelligent and opinionated, which is just not how good girls should be, alas, lol



violetdr3amer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 4 May 2021
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18 May 2021, 3:06 pm

SpottedMushroom wrote:
Image
Lady Dimitrescu of course lol

But yeah, that sounds like a tough run :( I wonder if people were just jealous of you and wanted you to act meek to avoid attention? Or what they thought should be their attention. I would think if someone found you intimidating, they wouldn't feel comfortable confronting you about it. Sociopath huh....I think many people use terms as insults when they don't actually know what they mean.
But that really sucks :( I felt that way back when I put effort into blending in, because people don't look too hard, but eventually they do see through it.


Ooh wow she does look fabulous! I don't play video games so had no idea who she is lol

I think people are just uncomfortable with a woman who has strong opinions and is cold. Women are expected to be saccharine, devoid of opinions and universally maternal to everyone they meet... and I'm just... not. Men especially expect women to be ego props.