Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

16 May 2024, 2:38 pm

Back in January at the pub I made friends with this couple (he’s 26 and she is 21). I meet with them twice or once a week at the pub but in the last few months they have regurley texting me in the daytime and there always harassing me by text on Friday nights about going out (even though I would rather just go out to pub once a week on saturdays)

Can I have your opinion on their behaviour? Do you think they’re bullying me because I am a vulnerable adult.

Sometimes they send me vulgar text messages.



DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,718
Location: Dorset

16 May 2024, 2:53 pm

I would only call it bullying if they know this upsets you.

In the best possible world they just like you, consider you a friend and want to see you at the pub and don't know that you don't appreciate the vulgar texts. Some people are a lot more comfortable with vulgarity than others and don't know, or don't care, that it makes some people uncomfortable.

In a worse world you're some sort of entertainment for them and they're getting a weird kick out of pestering you and sending you vulgar stuff because they know you don't like it.

As usual we really don't have enough information to go on, Jamesy. It's like you give us 2 pieces of a 10 piece jigsaw puzzle and ask us to tell you what the picture is.


_________________
This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 2150 character limit.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

16 May 2024, 3:03 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
I would only call it bullying if they know this upsets you.

In the best possible world they just like you, consider you a friend and want to see you at the pub and don't know that you don't appreciate the vulgar texts. Some people are a lot more comfortable with vulgarity than others and don't know, or don't care, that it makes some people uncomfortable.

In a worse world you're some sort of entertainment for them and they're getting a weird kick out of pestering you and sending you vulgar stuff because they know you don't like it.

As usual we really don't have enough information to go on, Jamesy. It's like you give us 2 pieces of a 10 piece jigsaw puzzle and ask us to tell you what the picture is.




They were doing weed around a friends house and they spend some of the evening laughing at me with their friend. I do stand out I guess


What more info would you like me to give you?



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 67,367
Location: UK

16 May 2024, 3:20 pm

Sounds like you're a figure of fun for
them

FOF


_________________
We have existence


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

16 May 2024, 3:24 pm

Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 67,367
Location: UK

16 May 2024, 3:30 pm

Maybe


_________________
We have existence


Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,622
Location: Over there

17 May 2024, 10:41 am

Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.


Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,892
Location: wales

17 May 2024, 11:10 am

What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 May 2024, 5:09 am

Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to



Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,622
Location: Over there

18 May 2024, 7:32 am

^ Block them - you don't have to read their nonsense.

For mobiles (or at least, Android) you can block phone numbers as the source of a call or a text message; as far as the sender is concerned their call is unanswered/their text was sent.


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.


JamesW
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2023
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 134
Location: London, UK

18 May 2024, 2:10 pm

Jamesy wrote:
They were doing weed around a friends house and they spend some of the evening laughing at me with their friend. I do stand out I guess


In my experience, when people are doing weed, they spend their time laughing at everyone and everything.



bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,517

19 May 2024, 5:29 am

Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

20 May 2024, 11:00 am

bee33 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.




I know it's friendly but I want to cut down my drinking by spending a bit less time going to pubs



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,141
Location: Near London United Kingdom

20 May 2024, 11:03 am

Cornflake wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:



Yeah but then I will have to deal with them when I bump into then at my local pub



DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,718
Location: Dorset

20 May 2024, 11:14 am

Jamesy wrote:
bee33 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Nades wrote:
What have they said? ThRs perhaps the most important fact that you haven't elaborated on.



For example badgering me via text to go out on nights I don’t want to

That's a nice and friendly thing to do, unless they're doing it in some mean or jerky way.




I know it's friendly but I want to cut down my drinking by spending a bit less time going to pubs


Have you told them that? If they're really friends they'll respect it.


_________________
This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 2150 character limit.


Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,622
Location: Over there

20 May 2024, 11:17 am

Jamesy wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Blocking them on WhatsApp would probably cause more friction
Well at least they won't be able to bully you via WhatsApp, right? :chin:
Yeah but then I will have to deal with them when I bump into then at my local pub
But as you're wanting to spend less time at the pub that's likely to be less of a problem, no?


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.