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Adolf
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12 Feb 2010, 7:09 pm

My experience of aspie women is that they are loyal to death. They'll follow me anywhere without asking or questioning and they'll defend me even when they suspect I'm wrong.

My experience of aspie males however is that they somehow enjoy breaking promises or loyalties. I have told aspie guys things about myself which they have then blurted out at very inappropriate times just to humiliate me. I have also asked aspie guys to promise me to "not tell anyone about this" and the first thing they do is to go and break that promise by talking to someone.

If this was because of worthless social skills, then why are the aspie women so loyal in comparison to the men, according to my own experience? Clearly the women I've met have had the ability to keep promises, but a lot of the men haven't. In fact I got the impression from the aspie guys that they get some kind of kick out of sitting on information and then just blurting it out with malicious intent.



Descartes30
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12 Feb 2010, 7:25 pm

I must be more female than male then, I am loyal to a fault. I have only interacted via email with 1 aspie female, from this forum it so happens, and she cut and run and didn't tell me why. But at least she didn't go posting anything secret that I told her, so I can't complain. Whether that is disloyal or not, I am not prepared to judge. So, I guess that loyalty is much like anything else, it depends on the person, not the gender.


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CockneyRebel
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12 Feb 2010, 7:33 pm

I'm a very loyal person. I put my friends and my family on a pedestal. Maybe I'm a little too loyal.


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Adolf
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12 Feb 2010, 7:54 pm

About aspie males, I find them to be less reliable than NT males or aspie women in terms of keeping secrets or promises. Many seem to have a perverted need to "poke the beehive" by breaking trusts.

I have started to believe that autism also sometimes includes a moral handicap, not just social.



Hethera
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12 Feb 2010, 10:09 pm

Adolf wrote:
I have started to believe that autism also sometimes includes a moral handicap, not just social.


Yes, maybe you should build some "labor camps" so you can rid society of your moral inferiors.



MissConstrue
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12 Feb 2010, 11:30 pm

Hethera wrote:
Adolf wrote:
I have started to believe that autism also sometimes includes a moral handicap, not just social.


Yes, maybe you should build some "labor camps" so you can rid society of your moral inferiors.


:lol:


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smokiethebear912
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13 Feb 2010, 12:01 am

I am a male and I do not feel the need to blurt out secrets, if anything I am more like the vault you lock them in.



hale_bopp
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13 Feb 2010, 10:29 pm

Myth.

Loyalty depends on the person, not their neurological condition.



AntonFeichtmeir
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13 Feb 2010, 10:51 pm

Adolf wrote:
About aspie males, I find them to be less reliable than NT males or aspie women in terms of keeping secrets or promises. Many seem to have a perverted need to "poke the beehive" by breaking trusts.

I have started to believe that autism also sometimes includes a moral handicap, not just social.


amoral, I belive you mean. . . :twisted:


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League_Girl
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14 Feb 2010, 3:24 pm

I think it's a myth. Having AS doesn't make you a saint or even more sweeter because I have seen some pretty bad ones.



Tim_Tex
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14 Feb 2010, 3:41 pm

I had a friend I met on here, she used to be very loyal, but she became secretive and standoffish, and eventually blocked me from IM and stopped answering my e-mails.

She told me that she would "never disappear without a reason", but I finally heard from her 6 months after she cut contact, and instead of thinking of me as a concerned friend, she acted as if I was some sort of crazy psycho stalker.

I can't think of anything I did to make her think that.


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smokiethebear912
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14 Feb 2010, 6:07 pm

Adolf wrote:
I have started to believe that autism also sometimes includes a moral handicap, not just social.


That is a possibility as I have a very warped sense of morals.



Sound
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14 Feb 2010, 6:32 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Myth.
Loyalty depends on the person, not their neurological condition.

+1



smokiethebear912
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14 Feb 2010, 6:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Myth.

Loyalty depends on the person, not their neurological condition.


+2



Mysty
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14 Feb 2010, 8:32 pm

Adolf wrote:
My experience of aspie women is that they are loyal to death. They'll follow me anywhere without asking or questioning and they'll defend me even when they suspect I'm wrong.

My experience of aspie males however is that they somehow enjoy breaking promises or loyalties. I have told aspie guys things about myself which they have then blurted out at very inappropriate times just to humiliate me. I have also asked aspie guys to promise me to "not tell anyone about this" and the first thing they do is to go and break that promise by talking to someone.

If this was because of worthless social skills, then why are the aspie women so loyal in comparison to the men, according to my own experience? Clearly the women I've met have had the ability to keep promises, but a lot of the men haven't. In fact I got the impression from the aspie guys that they get some kind of kick out of sitting on information and then just blurting it out with malicious intent.


I think it's might be true that Aspies tend to be more loyal, but, if so, it's a tendency, not an absolute.

As for males versus females (which is really a different issue), could it be that the relationships are different? I notice you describe two different things, as far as how women are loyal, but males are not. The very same person can be loyal as far as following you anywhere without asking questions and defending you, but also not good at keeping secrets. Furthermore, not keeping secrets may not always be a lack of loyalty, but, well, just not being good at keeping secrets. Maybe not having a sense of what's okay to tell or not.


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Tim_Tex
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15 Feb 2010, 1:28 pm

THe whole reason I limit my dating pool to people on the spectrum is because of loyalty.


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