Facebook was ruining my self esteem

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Hello, thank you for taking the time to read this post.
I got a Facebook acount 3 years ago to keep in touch with family members. With time my friends list grew with requests by old school classmates, cousins of mine, etc. It was fascinating to see what people that I had not seen in years were up to currently. Some had became parents, gotten married, had changed their physical appearance etc.
I was quickly looking forward to looking at the newsfeed for updatez on a daily basis and would get very excited when I'd receive notifications about comments that had been made on my satus or pictures. I was very curious to read their messages and oppinions on things that were so related to me. I loved facebook!
Then the inevitable started to happen. I began to feel as if facebook was like being in high school again, like a virtual time machine. It seemed like everyone om it was trying their best to prove they were "living it up!" Like their lives were so fantastic and despite having kids they were constantly at clubs and parties. So many pictures of them socializing with a group of close friends that are there for each other no matter what. All the things I could not have -__-
I am aware however that these people couldnt possibly truly lead tbese fabulous lifestyles they portrayed because offcourse they had omitted the fact that they tok had to have responsibilities and the occasional day of laundry, moments of washing dishes, taking the kids to school, etc. All of those normal routines most of us follow that aren't any fun.
But still, they got to party a whole lot more in a month than I could in an entire year. The pictured prove it is in fact happening anc then I start feeling like maybe im missing out on something. I mean damn, all I do is work, take care of my kids, cook and clean
And I couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous of how many close friends they have when I dont have any. How when they would have a new baby they'd post pictures with their hospital room full of visitors. I had a baby just this August and all I could do during my hospital stay was
to sadly wait for my husband to get off work all day because he was the only one who came to see me and the baby(my parents showed up once for 20 min.)
I felt like a loser
But still id surf through FB daily out of curiosity. Then the following happened. Several of my family members posted pictures of get togethers, baby showers, birthday parties and a wedding none of which I was ever invited to. This really made me feel like a total reject. I have 4 female cousins that used to be very close to me when we were kids and teenagers. During highschool they all drifted apart from me despite my many efforts to try and maintain a relationship with them. I didnt know why this happened as we never got into any type of altercation whatsoever. They just began to exclude me from everything even though I reached out and let them know it hurt my feelings. They would say they had love for me and that they were sorry but still it never stopped. What hurt the most is that they all until this day remained closely knit together.
So one of them got engaged and they all posted on facebook their trip to Las Vegas together having great fun. They all celebrated her engagement but didnt say a word to me. Later on I realized that one of them asked her parents to lie to me and say she was visiting a friend in Boston when I had called her home during her fun Vegas vetaway..
I did ask her after seeing the pictures on fb why she felt that I needed to be lied to and she said she didnt want me to feel bad. Lol she didnt want me to feel bad but yet she knowingly posted all the evidence on her fb page. I acted like I didnt really care but I did. Then afterwards my cousins were all bridesaids at the wedding, I was never asked to be but yet at the wedding they all felt like they hac to come to my table and say hello all fake as if they were glad to see me there.
MY "cousins" all continued to post pictures on fb of their trips to South Beach, Mexico and a cruise together. I felt so confused as to why they suddenly decided I could no longer be part of the group. They showed so much caring and understanding towards me when I was younger and then suddenly in highschool I wasnt worthy?
I deactivated my FAKEBOOK acount, I dont need to be reminded by everyone that I dont belong. Alien...

I'm really sorry you had that experience. But I think quite a few people can relate to it.

I signed up for facebook to keep in touch with family and friends, but it is a lot like shallow, narrow minded real life NT interaction, but just in shorthand.

Another name for it is "vaguebook" as no one will actually get to the point. They expect you to know what they mean by " Some people s**t me" or some other vague comment. So does one ask? does one really want to know.?I have one facebook "friend" , that I went to uni with who I learned about her engagement, marriage and birth of her child via facebook posts- all the time she's never said a word to me directly. Amother friend moved to another city, and despite being facebook "friends" I never heard from her again, though I heard that she was travelling to my home city to visit her boyfriend every weekend because my husband bumped into him. These were two people who my hubby and I supported in real life for a long time.One family member took exception to something I posted and started a diatribe because I expressed an opinion that wasn't his. UGH. a lot of the time I only go there to play scrabble and other games.

I thought it would be a good medium for people like me to keep in touch. I have not found much evidence.

What I do is just delete people if I don't like them, or if seeing whatever they post upsets me. Another thing I do is 'hide' updates from certain people from my newsfeed, this is for people I still consider as friends, but aren't really interested in everything they post. Also I don't accept friend requests in the first place if I never liked them.

As for the original post, I don't really understand their behaviour either, it seems very cruel.

How does one do this? I have huge envy problems, so I'd like to hide quite a bit of news feeds.

On the main website (not the mobile version), if you hover over someone's update on the newsfeed, there's a dropdown menu that appears on the right hand side. One of the options is 'Hide'. Then it gives you the option to change what updates you receive from the person, if you don't want to see anything you can 'unfollow'. You can change who you hide by clicking on the pencil icon next to the news feed. Hope that helps and is understandable.

Bear in mind that you only see those people who post evidence of their 'great social life'. There are many people without who wouldn't post on Facebook, which are harder to notice than the people who do post and therefore stand out. And as others have suggested, hide posts from those you'd rather not hear from or even unfriend them if necessary.

I've started kicking people off my facebook if I don't see much of them. There was a girl in a club I belong to (am president and dogsbody of), we all went camping, I paid upfront and she never paid me back, then left the club and never repaid me the money, then i have to read her stupid posts about how she is treating this person and that person to a meal out or something - so cynical. I toyed with the idea of publicly asking for my money under one of these show off posts but decided again it in the end and just removed here. And she had the nerve to criticize her ex for being from a "not so good background" when she was the one that never paid up, always had a glass of water at pubs we went to and her not good enough boyfriend was the one that always paid his way ! !! !

I hate Facebook, but can never bring myself to delete my account b/c it's the easiest way to stay in touch with everyone I know back in Japan. So many times I've just wanted to delete it. I tell myself that I will only check it once a week or something, but then I get bored and start checking it several times a day. I should honestly just delete it, but I don't want to become even more isolated than I already am.

I generally look once a day or less, i need it because some people refuse to communicate by any other means but I won't spend ages on it.

I deactivated my account because mostly it made me feel even more like a misfit and envious of other people who appeared to have friends and family that loved them. I think im better off without it

I'm not on FB anymore either because I found it to be superficial. It's also very one-sided and egocentric. People seemed to be more concerned with building "numbers" rather than keep in touch. This was typical feedback I received from multiple sources. Even family members (extended), they had no problems keeping in touch with me via FB but once I deactivated my account, I've since heard nothing. It's all a show. I don't miss FB at all.

No advice really. I feel for you, in that you are feeling rejected by family and they will likely never tell you the reasons for their decisions. I guess you'll just have to move forward without them. Xo

No advice really. I feel for you, in that you are feeling rejected by family and they will likely never tell you the reasons for their decisions. I guess you'll just have to move forward without them. Xo[/quote]

I agree, I will move forward without expecting any courtesy from them

Advise moving on without them. The only family I have is my sister and Dad and I got fed up with their attitude towards me and now don't voluntarily contact them or go to see them unless they want me. Result is we get on better and I have less hassle, now that they realize I'm happy to bugger off on my own they are a little more considerate.

I think another reason why I don't delete my page is that I feel it somehow gives me a voice. Even if people don't care or respond, sometimes they will read the short things I have to say or see the pics I have to post. Part of me feels I will lose this without my account. I have a tumblr account, but it's important that my audience is people I actually know.

A large part of my psyche is built around how "voiceless" I feel.

How about opening a new FB account and keep your Wrong Planet friends or potential friends on it.. those who are in the same situation. Just a thought..

thats a good idea