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azsxdc
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11 Jan 2007, 7:38 am

(I didn't know where to post this, mods move if you wish)
What is the opposite of a Tomboy? (A male with feminine qualities)
I don't think there is an actual name for these people. If there is, it sure isn't mainstream. If there is a name, I would partially assosiate myself with it.
Here's a blog entry I wrote on the subject.
-------
I have decided to post my thoughts of an issue that recently occurred in my mind.
It is said that sexism is going. Majority of the once Men's-only jobs or sports are now welcoming Women just as equally. This is great, it does show that sexism is becoming a thing of the past in society. ...Or does it?
Take this into consideration.
Many Women are getting into the things that Men are known for. Such as Sports, the Military and Physical Labor. These people, particularly in their younger ages are known as Tomboys. But think of the opposite. Males who take on Female roles. Males who are perhaps Sensitive, dislike Sports and like things tidy? Society calls these people 'Sissies'. Now, it's quite obvious that this sounds like more of an insult than a status. Society is removing sexism, but only in one form. Women are getting accepted in all walks of life, but in many situations Men acting feminine is still shunned upon. The bounds of sexism are turning one-sided.
A man that doesn't have a beer with his mates or go watch porn the internet every Saturday if they don't have a girlfriend is considered a maniac. But a women playing football is encouraged, where as 50 years ago, maybe they would be considered maniacs. This attitude to male feminism is atrocious. If a male is known to possess any of these feminine qualities, they are often considered gay. But that is in many cases not true. Now, society is so ignorant that they don't have a common word for feminine males other than 'sissies'. It's an un-treated form of corruption in society. There's not much that can be done, but I ask the readers of this to be a little more open-minded about the state of sexism in todays world.
------
Discuss.



Prof_Pretorius
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11 Jan 2007, 9:54 am

Good luck on finding any acceptance. I wasn't into the usual guy stuff when I was in Junior High School, and was labelled as a 'fag' because of it. The label followed me into High School, by the way. I hated sports, I was stick-skinny so even if I'd wanted to play any sports, I'd have gotten the stuffings knocked outta me. I liked drama, and was interested in acting and THAT was really considered 'faggy'. I agree the whole Feminism thing has had a negative effect on society. They have totally turned men into women's enemies, and not liberated anyone.


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11 Jan 2007, 12:45 pm

I think you are generalizing too much on feminism issues. What may be occuring in your country may not be the norm in another country. It also may vary from one part of a country to another. I can say in the Southern US women are still not accepted in a lot of male roles and women are still expected to act like a mouse and ask permission for everything. In the Southwest where I now live women have a little more acceptence of working in traditional male jobs, but not total acceptence. Its still a struggle in many occupations. I also see lots of male nurses, massage therapists, receptionists in this part of country so I don't think males are having it any more difficult in non-traditional roles than females are. I also know a number of men who are stay at home dads whose wives are the main breadwinner. Where I work, even though a computer job, previously was female dominated for some unknown reason. Maybe because it is desk work?? We used to have maybe 8-10 guys in the whole building. Now out of 180 workforce about half are guys from the just out of highschool age to seniors.

I grew up labeled a tomboy and it is a equally damaging label as a guy being called a sissy. It was kinda a cutesy label being a little tomboy girl, but as a tomboy woman one is viewed as a dirty old diesel dyke, immoral, immature, etc if they don't buckle down and start acting like a girly-girl. I really don't understand why society thinks they must label everything. I think we should be allowed to be ourselves whatever that may be.



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11 Jan 2007, 1:55 pm

The men that you are describing that society may label as "sissies" -- well, I have a different label . . .

GREAT HUSBAND OR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL ! ! !

Women should be so lucky to have a man that could be described in this way . . .

Kris



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11 Jan 2007, 1:58 pm

"act like a mouse and ask for everything" ???

Not to cast doubt, but are you writing from inside a time machine??

In what sense do you mean that ?? In public? In marriage? On the job? Women are preferred over men in all government jobs, federal, city, state, and county. Women routinely get half of the husband's net worth in divorce, even if they're the one who blew up the marriage.

What I was trying to say is that feminism hasn't elevated women to equal status with men, it's given them a false preference over men. We haven't gained anything from feminism, us guys.


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11 Jan 2007, 5:39 pm

I've a friend who is feminine and its like hanging out with a real girl. I feel like I'm more on a 'date' then a friendship. I dont relate well with females and these 'guys' are no different.

Are they sissies? When they annoy me with whining, yes, they are.

BTW, we call them 'Metrosexuals' I believe.



DivaD
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11 Jan 2007, 6:48 pm

azsxdc wrote:
What is the opposite of a Tomboy?


nancy boy :oops: maybe fop and dandy too? it's true though that there's no antonym of tomboy that doesn't have shameful connotations. even 'effeminate' seems to have attracted negative overtones.

i really don't care for gender stereotypes any more, i'll like computers and pink and maths and clothes and sex and stimmy pretty things and be as ditzy and intelligent and hysterical and autistic as i like, no matter what you are there's always someone saying it's wrong so you may as well just be you... how people judge me says more about them than it does about me anyway.



azsxdc
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11 Jan 2007, 8:43 pm

schleppenheimer wrote:
The men that you are describing that society may label as "sissies" -- well, I have a different label . . .

GREAT HUSBAND OR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL ! ! !

Women should be so lucky to have a man that could be described in this way . . .

Kris


Exactly what I believe. ;)

As for my country, I didn't take into account other countries. We live in Australia, the country where women are much more accepted than before.



ahayes
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12 Jan 2007, 2:47 am

I call myself "a lesbian in a man's body."



hale_bopp
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12 Jan 2007, 3:11 am

An affeminate guy, a gay guy or a metrosexual (that one isn't so much though)



Panik
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12 Jan 2007, 4:32 am

If only the caveman stereotype existed, we would not be where we are today. Our children would not live as long because of lack of healthcare and medical knowledge, we wouldnt have proper education or the inventions that has advanced society to what it is. You could argue that the women would be responsible for all these things but thats not the case is it? :)

And vice versa for some other things. Heres my stupid point of view: A "real man" doesnt live his life according to what he thinks women wants, he lives it according to the best of his moral standards and beliefs. If thats not what a woman want, why would he want to spend time or even associate with her? I see no problem not being the jock that gets all the ladies, since the quality of them are probably not very high. :D

I have no idea what I just said by the way... I think I'm pretty manly even tho I'm the nerd type. :D



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12 Jan 2007, 4:44 am

I've notice a lot more guys working in young ladies clothing shops these days, particularly in shops like Supre and Cotton On.



Ticker
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15 Jan 2007, 1:03 am

blue_bean wrote:
I've notice a lot more guys working in young ladies clothing shops these days, particularly in shops like Supre and Cotton On.


Uhm ...they're called gays.



BazzaMcKenzie
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15 Jan 2007, 1:17 am

Thinking a little, I cannot think of any colloquialism that is not insulting. :?

azsxdc wrote:
... A man that doesn't have a beer with his mates or ...

You could always have a Bundy (not Bacardi - that would be a girly-man's drink) :lol:


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15 Jan 2007, 1:24 am

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
"act like a mouse and ask for everything" ???

Not to cast doubt, but are you writing from inside a time machine??

In what sense do you mean that ?? In public? In marriage? On the job? Women are preferred over men in all government jobs, federal, city, state, and county. Women routinely get half of the husband's net worth in divorce, even if they're the one who blew up the marriage.

What I was trying to say is that feminism hasn't elevated women to equal status with men, it's given them a false preference over men. We haven't gained anything from feminism, us guys.


I'm writing from the insight of someone who grew up in the deep dark South. I escaped the South over 8 yrs ago and when I go back its still the same. Women have to ask their husbands permission for everything as if they were a child and he the parent. I nearly barfed in the Houston airport listening to a Southern Belle cower down to her husband. I wanted to slap her. If you want to think you are the big man, the boss of all, just move to one of the Southern States because the older women are dumber than dumb. That's why I had to leave. I can only hope the younger gals are waking up to the fact they can be their own person & not have to ask a guy for permission for everything they do in life.

As far as feminism if you are a real man you have nothing to fear from it. I'd like to know what part of the era you are writing from about alimony? I haven't heard of anyone getting alimony payments in the past decade or more. Most of my hetero female friends are divorced and none of them get alimony though a few get child support.

I really don't see where women are preferred over men in jobs unless its because women tend to be more reliable. A lot of the young men I encounter are too lazy to work so why should they get a better position over someone who busts their ass to get the job done right? You can't just sit back and expect something to be handed to you (like in the old days). If you want something you have to work for it.



ahayes
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15 Jan 2007, 1:32 am

Ticker wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
I've notice a lot more guys working in young ladies clothing shops these days, particularly in shops like Supre and Cotton On.


Uhm ...they're called gays.


I'd work in one and I'm not gay.