Can't figure this out!

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Can't figure this one out. Iv'e been told all my life to be kind and honest. Yet, every day I see almost every other perosn doing just the opposite. So, basicly,we live in a world of crooks liars, and cheats. My queation is this: How can you take anything anyone says seriously. Espcialy when most of them are paid (leaglly mind you) to defraud us of everything we own. Does this bother anyone else besides me?

Was the human race always this nasty or did we just become that way? How in the world can one be successful if honesty and integrity are not in place? I find myself not wanting freinds for this very reason. I also get ill thinking of the fact that somebody always wants somwthing you have and really doesn't care for you but, only what you can do for him or her. Which begs the question I saw on a thread on here "are we really missing that much?" I don't think so.

J.C.

i honestly don't know
you bring up a good point though

I don't know either but you bring up another question:
What has the human race become over time?



Happy 900th post!

It has to do with the way other people think we confide in them.

If they don't, then it leads to rejection.

my guess is we'll get so corrupted somebody who worships hitler will get elected president, WWIII, then we start with what we had in 1950, how people acted after WWII, and we start the cycle again

Let me restate the question. If being normal means being something I'm not. Wouldn't I be better the way I am? I always thought you should treat people as you woud want to be treated. At least that's the way it should be if that hasn't gone the by the way-side. J.C.

I'm not really sure how much of a choice there is in the matter. For me anyways, I really have to just accept the way I am. It ain't always easy, but it is getting easier.

When I try to act all normal it stresses me out. So I'm better off being myself and letting most people just think I'm a little wierd. Anyways, sometimes the more normal I try to act, the more strange can I seem to the NT's.

But yeah there are some simple "tricks" we can do (make eye contact, learn to do small-talk, get plenty of sleep, etc.) to smooth out the rough edges.

So I think it is not a question of one or the other, but rather finding the right balance between:
1) Letting one's true personality shine through, and
2) Acting a little bit normal to make life easier, but not so much that we get stressed


You do see some NT's who try to treat all with respect. I try to spend more time with NTs who seem to have some morals and cut off from the backstabbers. Often their deceitfulness backfires and they end up being seen for what they are anyways.

HUman beings have ALWAYS been liars, thieves and cheats. That is what religious dogma tries to correct with rules like 'do not steal' and 'do not lie' and 'do not committ adultery' and all that stuff.

If human being were like us Aspies there would be no wars, no one would steal from the other, or try to take advantage of each other. I feel that we are probably the only human beins that are happy with what we have, are not jealous with what others have, we do not want more just to show off and to establish our social position with wealth and power.

No, believe me we are not missing that much at all. I have 45 years of my life trying to live as a 'normal' or NT person and I have been completely appaulled by their behavior, their rudeness, their selfishness, and their complete stupidity.

Star

I dunno, looking from the outside point of view...Aspies are amongst the people I know that fight the hardest, debate in the most brutal ways and never, ever give up I've learned not to debate too hard with an Aspie because I'll most likely give up before they have any semblance of doing so.

That's what makes war.

As for theft and taking advantage of each other? That really comes down to individuals and their beliefs. If someone that so happened to be Aspie also happened to believe that theft was indeed not wrong, I hardly think that they'll not steal just because they're Aspie. What if they're starving? What if they have no choice...steal or die? And what if that becomes ingrained?

Dude.



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As far as humans being liars and cheats...this is nature. Everyone and everything will do it. It's a protective mechanism...either to protect oneself, or someone else. Like say I had a problem with someone here. A really big problem...I wanted to nuke their face. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if I lied about it, pretended there was no problem, and just avoided contact with them? Or should I be honest and say "IMMA SMASH YOUR FACE, YO!"...I think everyone would prefer the averted flame war to someone ending up in hospital or a psych ward for trauma...

Or say I were to wear blue contacts and dye my hair blonde. I'm lying about my race at this point...want to appear caucasian, where really I'm half-chinese. Why would I do this? Portray a different image, exploit different avenues in life that may open up to me as a result. Attract different people. Wear a different mask.

Or my best friend, who happens to be quite the heffalump...asks me if she looks fat in the outfit she chose. Frankly...she looks fat in everything...she's fat Do I say "Hell yeah, you need wide load signage with that one babe", or "It's not too bad, maybe try the black shirt instead"?

Lying is a method of survival. The survival of the fittest depends on those with the ability to sense and see through these lies, and operate accordingly. Learn to decipher a lie, and let it roll like water off a duck's back. It's similar to insults like that, really. Did it really break your arm if someone yelled racial slurs at you? No, it just made them look like a prat.

People lie to feign sympathy for you when you're down...they know it's better for you to feel like someone really cares than to be ignored in your hour of need. Truth be told they probably feel for you, but have better things to do. So they dramatise it, show that extra sympathy and care...why...to protect you, to make you feel better, to help you get on with your life.

People lie when they're broken something of yours...and will often sneak a replacement in, for example. Like breaking your favourite cup at the office while you're not there...they'll sneak a new one in its place and hope you don't notice. Do they confess, even when you notice the scratch is gone? Neh, probably not.

People lie to their children when their goldfish dies. 'Oh, Goldie's gone to a better place now...'...they don't tell them they're rotting in the ground. First reaction when the family puppy gets squished by a car... 'Oh, fluffy ran away.'. Like you're going to tell your kid that their favourite animal is a patch of roadkill three square metres across the road. You let them come to their own realisation, usually.





Lying is harsh if you get stung by it, but it's learning to NOT step on the needle when fishing through the haystack. Trust those you know well - you should know if they're telling porkies or not And if they're close to you, their lies are often designed to protect you, not harm you. Value truth, but accept untruths...they are everywhere, and not all are malicious

The way you talk and reason is soooo NT and idiotic in my eyes. You have no clue how it feels from inside out being an Aspie you have no clue why we debate as hard or brutally as you mention... AND by the way, debates DO NOT CAUSE WARS. Aggressive NTs, who are motivated with greed cause wars. Debating is a battle of minds not a battle with bombs that explode causing death and chaos.

An Aspie woud not steal bread if they were hungry. They would find a practical solution to find food. We seek solutions instead of just the easy way out by hurting someone else or their property. An Aspie would not kill even if their life would be threatend because we turn our anger and frustration inwards not outwards. We will debate aggressively, but when aggression becomes physical and Aspie is the first to get brutalized and hurt because he/she won't fight back, will not use physical violence.

Unfortunately as an NT you have no idea why the heck someone would do that and you believe that if one's life or safety is threatend, an Aspie just like anyone else, would simply exhibit an NT kind of reaction andbehavior.

WRONG my dear! Do your homework first, understand how an Aspie mind works and deals with fear and stress then, and ONLY then, come here and post this kind of BS...

Star

Ah, but I remember getting pissed at my wife for not arguing things out to the bitter end. I don't know which is better, having someone submit in an argument because it just tires them, or continuing on and on.

I think it has something to do with being literal. We're taught don't lie by adults who proceed to lie and be offended if we don't lie.

Re your friend trying on clothes - Mom said, "Does this coat make me look fat?" This was about the tenth coat she'd tried. I gave up and said, "No fatter than you are." That started the diet where Mom lost 45 pounds and kept it off forever.

Erm ... yes, about lying. So there's the little kid with every angry because she did *not* lie. Okie dokey. Kid tries lying. Can't get the hang of it, gets blamed either way. Also gets reputation as a liar, where others lie through their haloes.

Enter Temple Grandin & Sean Barron, "Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships" chapter on Lying vs Diplomacy. Aha! Light goes on. Kid, now almost 60yo, finally understands. Envies those who might not have to stumble around in the dark so long.

That's great! I told my dad that he stank of alchohol, and he stopped drinking the hard stuff after that. Sometimes, brutal honesty is perfect.

See my thread here ("Are you a b***h magnet?"
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... tch+magnet

Star, I totally agree with everything you said.
Shale, I know you like posting on the AS forums, but really, you should stay out of them. That was not only an offensive post but ridiculous. Everything you wrote was so NT. Why must you post among us? Can't you find another place to express yourself?

Thanks Aylissa, I didn't even know that Shale would come here and post often. I am fairly new here at WP, so thanks again for standing up for me...

Star