Why Are You So Quiet?

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Yes, I've heard this comment/question all my life, especcialy at high school. I don't know how to respond to this question. My primary reaction would be questioning back: "why are you talking so much?"
I also think when I say a few things in a hour time I've been socially correct, because for me these few comments are already more than usually, but for other people it's still not enough.

I once had a boss ask me loudly in front of a few other employees if I was a mime because I was always so quiet.

Funny how he disliked me for so long until he mentioned a special interest of mine. Then we were fine to talk about that for hours.

I do recall saying less at school throughout my entire 9th grade than many people say in a single typical conversation. Those were the days...

Quietness resembles being relaxed and at peace, it resembles deep contemplation and creativity.

Babbling all the time resembles nervousness, fear of silence and anxiety in general, (and can be an indicator of) abuse, narcissism, bipolar disorder and alzheimer's.

I also don't really get why you need to refer to dolphins to make a point about trying to be helpful. So quiet people are just as foreign and incomprehensible as humans are to dolphins? Huh.

"Why are you talking all the time, are you CRAZY??? (I'm just worried about you, maybe you should check yourself in to a mental hospital before it gets worse!?)".

Yes I often get asked this question and it is not easy to know what to say back to someone who asks this question. Sometimes it feels like someone saying it to me is coming off that it is a flaw and other times the person seems curious or concerned as to why I am quiet. Other times if someone gets to know me one on one they will comment that I am quite funny at times. In some situations such as school or work if there are a lot of group situations and pressure to speak up and play politics then I feel that I "shut down." If I feel more comfortable and go out on the weekends with a few friends I can relax and be myself.

Yes I often get asked this question and it is not easy to know what to say back to someone who asks this question. Sometimes it feels like the person saying it to me is hinting that it is a flaw and other times the person seems curious or concerned as to why I am quiet. Other times if someone gets to know me one on one they will comment that I am quite funny or comical at times. In some situations such as school or work if there are a lot of group situations and pressure to speak up and play politics then I feel that I "shut down." If I feel more comfortable and go out on the weekends with a few friends I can relax and be myself.

People think that if you're quiet, something's wrong.
No. If I'm not quiet, something's wrong.

If I'm intense, focusing, its OK. Stop asking me if I'm ok, or what's wrong, or why I'm so quiet. In fact, stop barraging me with so many questions!
And, if you do ask, don't get mad at me for not pasting a nice fake smile and being all bubbly. Ain't gonna happen. Not sorry.

Rant over for now.

I'm a quiet person, but only to people who don't get to know me enough. Once I get comfortable with people, I become more talkative and will open up to them more. In large groups of friends I am often seen as quiet because I'm mostly drowned out by the louder characters in the group. If I don't know the people in the group, I'm more likely to be quiet and not say anything out of my own, only if somebody asks me something I'll answer. I think this is because I can only open up to people if I've seen them and talked to them enough to get used to them or if I've known them for a while. I think this is probably a trust thing. I just feel I can't be open with people in person that I don't really know.

Well, I never honestly answer that question.

People especially hate quiet women. Quiet men are sexy and mysterious, but as a woman you're expected to gibber away all the time. I do that, but only around people I can talk to. That's not that many...


I used to be loud. Well, things change.

At one point I realized people didn't want to listen to me, so I stopped talking. I never talk about anything unless I am really sure about it.

Or if I forget myself and am myself for a change.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to forget yourself all the time?

Yeah, it definitely would be.

People even expect you to be yourself a lot. Just that the way you are is not exactly what people mean when they say "be yourself". I'd still have to be a certain way to be "myself".

I've been asked that question repeatedly all my life. I hate it. It's rude, and they would agree if they considered the question in reverse: "Why do you talk so much?" or "Don't you ever shut up?"

Occasionally, when time allows:

"Why are you so quiet?"
"What would you like me to say?"
"What are you thinking?"
I proceed to tell them; detailing, circling, branching, continuing . . .
"Shut up!"
"And that is why I remain quiet."

I've been asked that many many times over my lifetime.

That and the other perennial favourite statement "You shouldn't be shy". Gah!

On a lighter note, it reminds me of a quote from Donnie Darko:

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Which, in turn, reminds me of the lyrics for Everyday Is Halloween by Ministry.

I'm quite person because I haven't really been with friends that much since I finished middle school. But I'm hoping that it will change when I'm starting University in England after this summer. Although the required work for the turning-point is big.

Just how do you respond to a question like that?

It's a question I've been asked my whole life. Now there's a LOT of factors as to why I'm not extroverted, part of it is my own personality (if I have nothing to say, I really can't find something to talk about), part of it is due to a lot of people hurting me (mentally, emotionally) over the years and another part of it is my own insecurities.

Now I KNOW not to go into a long winded diatribe about how others hurt me, but I just have a hard time opening up and trusting people, especially within my own age group and younger types (18-26). I used to say 'it's just my personality', but I'm really tired of people saying the same things over and over again. I can be very talkative when I get to know someone and can function as a psuedo-NT, yet people still say the same crap. (Yet these same people don't reach out or try to be friends when I make the effort yet still complain and pick at me for being 'quiet').

Have any others on here been constantly asked this question? And if so, what's the best response? (Preferably something short and polite, as I'm not looking to alienate myself or be sarcastic, I'm just really looking for a good solid answer to put such people to rest already).