Giving up on friendships

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I try to never give up on any friendships that I'm going to make. PERSERVERANCE!

Perhaps it's because I feel that 6 hours of boredom or mental torture is totally worth even the smallest amount of happiness, and to me, having friends and people you can talk to (not that I actually TALK to them) makes me really really happy. I will go to great lengths to have friends, and that means I shall try my best to keep the ones I currently have.

I've been in this situation a few times. One thing to do is never give up on your friendships, and I know this is easier said than done.

Personally I find the internet to be a better way of communicating with my friends, using MSN and Facebook I've got my friends from high school in one network. If you have Facebook (or Myspace), see if any of your friends are on Facebook too, and set Facebook to e-mail you when your friends post a message on your page or send you a personal message. My friends have set up a "group thread" to post announcements to a select group of people on Facebook, and we all get e-mailed whenever somebody says something in that thread. On the internet I find it easier because you can post your message for everyone to see without being interrupted by someone else and silenced.

If you're looking to make new friends, start by having small conversations with them. Break the ice with a non-personal question about them (like whether they've seen any good movies, or if they went somewhere exciting over the holidays, or if you're both at school, how they're coping with assignments). They may respond by asking a question about you. This is fine, just don't get carried away with a long-winded speech about various topics (that happens to me a lot). Try to keep asking the person questions about them. The longer you can keep the conversation going, the better (unless you're in a hurry to be somewhere). If you're at school or college and you're on your break, don't sit by yourself. (I know I usually sit by myself because that's my comfort zone). It pays to put yourself out of your comfort zone and sit with a large group of people you know from your class (and know to be friendly, because I'm not saying you should attempt to sit with the "cool" people or the people who bully you).

If you show that you're interested in what another person wants to talk about, over time they will want to become your friend.

BTW, I'm not trying to be a know-it-all. This is just what my parents have taught me and to a small extent it has worked. Just try to keep using e-mail, IM's and Facebook to stay in contact with your friends, both old and new.

Was reminded last night of another reason I gave up on friendships in the first place. I decided to reach out to a friend last night and we had a short chat (<30 minutes) about nothing really special or important. Then when I was going to bed I could not get to sleep because I kept playing over everything that was said in the entire conversation, and then I got thinking about past conversations we've had and conversations I've had with other people years ago. I kept trying to stop myself or distract myself from thinking about it but I just couldn't. I do this after every interaction I have with other people, no wonder I've been so stress free since I stopped talking to people.

I think I'm giving up on most 'friends' since they never were what I'd mean by that term & I can't get any guidance to develop the relationships with them. If I get any & it works, I'll try again. Otherwise, there's a couple of Aspies I know fairly well, offline & I'll try with them. Also, I'm in some of these forums, so I'll try online 'friends'.