Do people often act like you're invisible?

Page 2 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

04 Jan 2010, 10:37 am

Quote:
Do people often act like you're invisible?


no they get out of my way if they see me coming because i look at my feet while walking.

if they acted like i was invisible they would get knocked down.



Amajanshi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 626

04 Jan 2010, 9:53 pm

Most people don't actively approach me for conversation. I'm not upset about this coz I know that if lots of people were to talk to me, then I'd be more stressed out.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,144
Location: In my own little country

05 Jan 2010, 12:47 am

I feel like that, all the time. I'll have something to say, related to the topic of conversation and people still ignore me. It makes me feel invisible. I hate that feeling. It makes me wonder why I even bother. That happened at the New Year's Eve party that I was at, with all the older ladies in my building. I think that I'm just going to stay in my apartment, next year on New Year's Eve. That way, I'll be saving myself a lot of the pain that almost drove me to an early grave, a few nights, ago.


_________________
The Family Schlager


AspiRob
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 304

05 Jan 2010, 5:10 am

KenG wrote:
Loulas wrote:
Do people often act like you're invisible?
Certainly, definitely and completely. It makes me feel as though they are blind!! !


I have always had an issue with this. I noticed it more when I was younger because back then I wanted to make friends. Now that I am older I am more accepting of my disability and less caring of other people. On the other hand, perhaps I am so used to the invisibility thing that I don't conciously think of it anymore.

Quite often I turn the invisible thing around on others. For example...................
Someone else: Hey Rob, I'm talking to you..................Hello.....................Hello.
AspiRob: I'm busy - can ignore you another time?

....or something like that.

I am so over NT's lack of repect for anyone who is different from them. I have another handicap apart from AS so I am perhaps just a little more "different" than others. Most people know I am different from the average person and many have tried to enquire as to why. I see this as being my business not theirs so I tend to reply along the lines of: "I have a communication handicap. It help me a lot if you speak to me when you want my attention". They never get it.


_________________
I am highly in tune with my perceptions. It's reality that I haven't got a clue about.


Shebakoby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,759

05 Jan 2010, 10:18 pm

I don't mind so much if I'm treated as invisible by complete strangers. It's more annoying if it's people I know or am somewhat familiar with. What's even worse is if I'm treated as invisible by some loser interrupting a conversation I'm having as if I wasn't even there, to talk to the person I was talking to.



AspiRob
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 304

06 Jan 2010, 1:30 am

Shebakoby wrote:
What's even worse is if I'm treated as invisible by some loser interrupting a conversation I'm having as if I wasn't even there, to talk to the person I was talking to.


I agree - people who do that are just plain rude. If that happens to me, I have no problem with getting in the loser's face and asking if they were taught any manners.


_________________
I am highly in tune with my perceptions. It's reality that I haven't got a clue about.


Zara
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jun 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,877
Location: Deep Dungeon, VA

06 Jan 2010, 8:07 pm

Yes, when I let them. I've been doing this for so long I can make myself visible or invisible at my whim. :)


_________________
Current obsessions: Miatas, Investing
Currently playing: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Currently watching: SRW OG2: The Inspectors

Come check out my photography!
http://dmausf.deviantart.com/


monsterland
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 837
Location: San Francisco, CA

07 Jan 2010, 12:21 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I feel like that, all the time. I'll have something to say, related to the topic of conversation and people still ignore me. It makes me feel invisible. I hate that feeling. It makes me wonder why I even bother. That happened at the New Year's Eve party that I was at, with all the older ladies in my building. I think that I'm just going to stay in my apartment, next year on New Year's Eve. That way, I'll be saving myself a lot of the pain that almost drove me to an early grave, a few nights, ago.


I realized that in public situations, NOBODY speaks "when they want to".Only WE tend to think, that whenever we have something smart/insightful/appropriate to say, we should be able to say it and be heard.

But that's not how NTs work. They KNOW that they can't speak "whenever", unless there's a sufficient beam of attention focused on them. So they wait for an opening. For the right moment.

NTs instinctively adjust to the dynamic flow of conversation. They know when they have an opening, based on

a) a momentary silence (someone exhausted their train of thought)
AND
b) something context-appropriate to insert, that will draw attention of others. For instance, a wisecrack punchline to previous speaker's tirade - that's often acceptable/expected

We have to learn to flow with the general mood of larger exchanges going on around us, their rhythms, and take the openings as they appear. Trying to barge in without an opening gets one ignored.



Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

07 Jan 2010, 5:35 am

That's true, but there's also times when there is a lull and you start a topic and then someone starts talking over you. I think it's because when it happens to me, I'm not projecting enough. But it pisses me off. My family used to do it on purpose at the dinner table because they thought it was funny to frustrate me.


_________________
Detach ed


Dentu
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 116
Location: Central VA, USA

08 Jan 2010, 12:08 am

When people snub me, I get really indignant. I've burned some relationship bridges down because of this. It's a bad habit.

A story-

I was hanging out at the local diner with some friends, something I do every now and then since one of my friends works here and his job tends to be boring. We're having our usual conversations, when a friend of mine mentions some relationship issues, and I offer my help. He says he'd need someone good at manipulating peoples' emotions, and everyone has a good laugh at me being manipulative. I insist. He says whatever, and we move on.

Later that night, two girls our age come in. They're regulars, though my friend that works here is annoyed by this fact. They sort of treat him like an emotional soap box. I've also never met them before. Anyway, they sit down next to us to talk to said friend, more or less snubbing my group. I continue my conversation with my friend. One of the girls starts acting real snobby, saying I'm not funny and I'm annoying her. I say something to the effect of 'then leave'. She hits me.

Oh-ho. Oh ho ho ho. You will be an example.

I start acting dizzy and tired. I prod into every conversation she has. Any time I annoy her, I press on and see if there's something more to that annoyance. She's physically abusive the entire time, and getting worse. I've got a cut in my hair, one on my shoulder, a bruise on my neck, and my right ear will ring for the next week. I recoil, but keep myself calm. It's been about three hours. My resolve is only getting more adamant. I'm getting close.

Then we get to the subject of her brother, and I hit gold. Seems she's seriously worried about him. I make little suggestions like he's probably afraid of her since she's such a violent twit. She actually pulls a knife and tells me not to talk about her brother. Two employees jump up and warn her to put it away. Bingo. So I decide, at this point, to ignore her and talk to my friends, including the employed one, carrying on the conversation she was just having without her.

This was ultimately too much to bare. After a few minutes, she gets up, pours an entire cherry coke on me (that she just had my friend refill, whom will now have to wash the entire area), and leaves without paying. Her other friend ends up picking up the tab and chasing after her.

My friends are kind of shocked at the whole incident, and at a loss for words. I suddenly snap out of my 'stupor', and say "I told you I can manipulate people".

Their jaws hit the floor.

Yes, I mentally scarred someone I had never met before because she was trying to snub me while I was talking to my friend. And all I've got to say is, my wounds healed. The girl in question has apparently had nightmarish delusions about that night ever since, putting unusually sadistic words into my mouth.

Would you believe I got cheered for doing this?



dalekaspie
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 4 Sep 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 261

08 Jan 2010, 6:10 am

i like being invisible, it means i can sneak up on my freinds without them knowing ive arrived and eventually when they do notice me there all like " WOAH, when did you arrive man your like a freaking ninja!" :)


_________________
"you NT's dont get it do you, were not trapped on this planet with you! YOU'RE TRAPPED ON THIS PLANET WITH US!! !" - aspie roarshac


monsterland
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 837
Location: San Francisco, CA

08 Jan 2010, 3:39 pm

Aimless wrote:
That's true, but there's also times when there is a lull and you start a topic and then someone starts talking over you. I think it's because when it happens to me, I'm not projecting enough. But it pisses me off. My family used to do it on purpose at the dinner table because they thought it was funny to frustrate me.


In my observation that happens when one is not fully in sync with the "groupmind policies". When there's a lull and I say "So, anyone's seen Avatar ?", chances of people ignoring it are very low.

But if I said "So, I noticed that caffeine makes me panic. Anyone else notice that ?", chances are it would be filtered out and covered up by someone who's not flagged "weird" by the "groupmind".

I can project that topic as much as I want, be as loud as I want, stop people from interrupting me, but if it doesn't echo loudly enough in people's brains, it will die no matter what, an in addition I will be flagged as "low-priority-banter-person" by the "groupmind".

In my anecdotal experience, failure to capture the topic resulted from my belief that during a lull I can start a conversation about anything. In reality, there's a very limited range of topics that can take place in a "groupmind". The "groupmind" is shallower and more base than any individual person, and you have to use the common lowest denominator.



Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

08 Jan 2010, 3:57 pm

monsterland wrote:
Aimless wrote:
That's true, but there's also times when there is a lull and you start a topic and then someone starts talking over you. I think it's because when it happens to me, I'm not projecting enough. But it pisses me off. My family used to do it on purpose at the dinner table because they thought it was funny to frustrate me.


In my observation that happens when one is not fully in sync with the "groupmind policies". When there's a lull and I say "So, anyone's seen Avatar ?", chances of people ignoring it are very low.

But if I said "So, I noticed that caffeine makes me panic. Anyone else notice that ?", chances are it would be filtered out and covered up by someone who's not flagged "weird" by the "groupmind".

I can project that topic as much as I want, be as loud as I want, stop people from interrupting me, but if it doesn't echo loudly enough in people's brains, it will die no matter what, an in addition I will be flagged as "low-priority-banter-person" by the "groupmind".

In my anecdotal experience, failure to capture the topic resulted from my belief that during a lull I can start a conversation about anything. In reality, there's a very limited range of topics that can take place in a "groupmind". The "groupmind" is shallower and more base than any individual person, and you have to use the common lowest denominator.


That makes sense. Just another thing I never "got". :?


_________________
Detach ed


EarlPurple
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 162
Location: London, UK

09 Jan 2010, 2:25 pm

Have any of you ever waited "politely" to get your point into a conversation only to get told that the conversation has "moved on"?



ImNotOk
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 227
Location: Texas, for now

09 Jan 2010, 2:45 pm

For me the answer is rarely and I hate it. I have to avoid people to be left alone.


_________________
~To be filled in later~


111chuckybabu
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jan 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18
Location: UK

13 Jan 2010, 4:27 am

I notice that when I'm eating at a restaurant with my mum the the waiters don't seem interested in asking me things, as if I'm an "afterthought" or something. Same thing when I go shopping with mum, the cashier will smile and say goodbye to mum but not to me. Even if they don't look at me I still say goodbye though. I can understand this response if I was a child just tagging along, but I'm an adult.