Trying so hard to be friends, yet it won't work.

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It's hard sometimes when there are not many options for friends, ie: there are not many people to meet. But if this woman is not interested in being friends with you, then she doesn't deserve you as a friend. She is the one who misses out.

What is the deal? you see the way I ended it. I am done I alway shut off like that its called tact ok. I am not going to act nuts all the time. Sometimes in what I say but I still have excellent social skills. Some stuff I learned from social workers very little though as far as this.

What the hell are you talking about? All I meant was stop hijacking my thread to hit on and have arguments about fiz.

Thank you got me going laughing probably trigger something. I am probobly laughing to cover it up. I am not trying to upset you it just went so good with your avitar. Be happy!! !! can you smile?

I was just trying to be nice but it is true. I thought that would be a good complement I know you don;t like getting hit on. All people are not the same. It seem she has a boyfriend she should have told me. I gain would kill for something like that. not for the same reason. Take if for what its worth a helping hand and nothing more. I am probably not ready any way although moving fast.

This thread is about hale_bopp. Other stuff can be discussed elsewhere.

Hale_bopp, I know what it is like to say all kinds of random things and then people look at me and then kind of move away slowly, like they are scared of catching something nasty off me. I've lost potential friends doing this. The only way I know to cope is by saying nothing and risk comments being made about my "quietness". I end up letting the other person do all the talking. I have found that most people love to talk about themselves. It feeds their egos.
Has anything happened with that person you were talking about since your first post?

Well so it is not worth learning the body language? Is it is not worth learning tact, and learn how to get on with people. Only be learning these things can you grow. Only by learning this thing can you become more compatible with other people. It is something that you must strive to achieve.

Lets not romantics the possibility of an aspie finding love, because the chances are high that it will never happen. The only way to improve chances are someone right is to go though many bad dates. Not worth waiting a decade to find the perfect date and if it does not work out then wait another decade, then another. If you found someone who is not completely right doesn’t necessarily mean that you should stop looking.

Solitude and loneliness sucks it just simply hearts full-stop. It is nothing to do with personal image, acceptances, paranoia ,confidence or any vain thing like that. I don’t try to improve my image because I am insecure or anything likes that well not for me. So from what I tell you, how can I grow to so I don’t get depressed form being lonely, because I cannot find it man!

It is all about growing not waiting and hoping.

I can imagine if you think my advice is that good and you want to respond to you instead. I am not just gloating I share my gifts. Pm me if you want.

I only see this woman once a week if not less. It's usually me that has to do all the talking, I hate that. My life is always like that.
It's like an obsession that won't go away, I can't stop thinking about her and hoping she likes me.

I can't stand that. If people don't talk social anxiety kicks in. Damn nt stuff

I know this kind of obsessing from my own experience, i feel like that too.
But is this woman important enough to you to be a friend and why?
What are her qualities?
What do you think of her ?
So she doesn't talk much ? Why is it so?
You can show casual interest in her ....
Trying (too) hard to befriernd someone can be a problem too because you stiffen up and either exude neediness or deapsir or are too paralysed to think let alone speak..

Oh, i've been at the stiffen up stage before, it was terrible. I had to tell her something and I went all red and jammed up. I was so embarassed. I've hopefully gotten over that.. but to answer your question... I don't know.. I don't know why I want to be her friend.. theres nothing about her that I would look for in a friend.. its really weird.

I agree with you hale_bopp he shouldn't be taking over your thread like the way he has. I don't think Fiz would like you arguing about her.

When this happens to me, I usually realize that I wasn't seeing the person I wanted to be friends with very clearly. They reminded me of someone important, or I was misperceiving some characteristic that made them seem like such a good person to get to know (like they're understanding, compassionate, accepting). Once I realized what I was not seeing clearly, my interest in wanting to be liked by them or to develop a friendship fell away too. Would any of this apply in your situation?

Hale-Bopp, maybe you want her to be your friend because you see her somehow regularly...?

I can imagine that what workinprogress said is the case too

In which situation do you see her?
Look at her closely. her behaviour or looks, if you think long enough in that direction maybe you'll find out what attracts you to her. Right now you're unaware of it but maybe...

Workinprogress, do you switch off interest for a person 'easily' after you've made that discovery you mentioned?
In me, it takes a good hurt and time....and maybe a new person to obsess about...

partly. Although this doesn't make the interest drop away. It sorta came out of no-where...



I think you've hit it right on the button. I think it's a combination of both, although I don't know where it came from. I've worked with her before the obsession developed and never made a second glance.