"why dont you find friends your own age"!

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d057
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10 Jul 2010, 1:32 pm

I hated the people in my high school because they loved to belittle me and treat me like I wasn't worth anything, while they are the ones that are not worth anything. Most of my friends are either college graduates or are in their college years now.


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ProfessorX
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10 Jul 2010, 3:12 pm

I'll admit that I tend to okay with most people my age or older for, I'm not in the partying crowd of people from 18-25.No, I don't mean all people are like such but for me, I've found it difficult to interact with most people my age since, I'm sometimes treated a menally-challenged teenager around the age of 14 or 15. :oops: :oops: :x Anywyas, I sincerely try to grasp the undersanding of what others find interesting to talk about or take interest in... :salut:



TechnicalPacifist
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10 Jul 2010, 3:48 pm

I find most people my act to be shallow and unintelligent. :?



rmgh
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10 Jul 2010, 5:56 pm

At school I was better with those 2 years older and 2 years younger. But since then, I have not got people my age at all. I have only spoke to and made friends with adults. And the thing is, I WANT to meet people my own age! Any tips?



Zara
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11 Jul 2010, 2:31 pm

Actually I get that sometimes too...

Well, the problem is that most ... well the majority really, of people my age have somewhat ... advanced lives, of say... careers, families, children...

And I'm just none of those things. Realistically I still have more in common with the recent high school graduate or college student.
Not to mention that other people around my age generally don't consider me to be friend worthy.

That and being socially inept doesn't help either.
So I take friends where I can get them.


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ProfessorX
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12 Jul 2010, 6:25 am

Well, the problem is that most ... well the majority really, of people my age have somewhat ... advanced lives, of say... careers, families, children...

Not to mention that other people around my age generally don't consider me to be friend worthy.


Dear Zara, these two statements in fact relate to me a great deal as, I can understand you in some ways..
Also, most people of my age range don't tend to be eccentric like myself therefore, they avoid me like the bubonic plaque :oops:



jamiethesilent
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12 Jul 2010, 9:24 am

Apart from one friend who is Dyslexic, I usually talk to adults who provide a much more interesting conversation. String theory is much more itresting than than a 12 year old going on about yu-gi-oh. However i would not call these adults friends. I really only have one friend. Most other "normal" kids I know have a bizzare and rude way of talking to each other. They wonder why I read all the time.

James


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deadeyexx
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12 Jul 2010, 9:40 am

I find it easier to interact with people being a minimum of 5 years older or younger than me. It's something about a close age proximity and the expectations that come with it that makes it hard for forming connections. They expect you to be too similar to them.

A significant age difference makes it clear both of you are not the same from the beginning, and other differences are more easily accepted.



rmgh
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13 Jul 2010, 3:11 pm

deadeyexx wrote:
I find it easier to interact with people being a minimum of 5 years older or younger than me. It's something about a close age proximity and the expectations that come with it that makes it hard for forming connections. They expect you to be too similar to them.

A significant age difference makes it clear both of you are not the same from the beginning, and other differences are more easily accepted.

That's it! Now I understand it.



zombiecide
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14 Jul 2010, 6:32 am

deadeyexx wrote:
A significant age difference makes it clear both of you are not the same from the beginning, and other differences are more easily accepted.

Just wanted to say exactly the same! Though, maybe it's less that differences are accepted, but that it is not assumed that people have as much common ground. So the behaviour pattern includes finding the common ground and finding an equilibrium or a way to communicate over the parts that aren't.
I personally notice the cues for that and can react appropiately to them (I hope) - but I'm pretty lost when it comes to the whole peer group thing, I just don't know how you're supposed to behave, what kind of experience you are supposed to have made and what not ...


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Guitar_Girl
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14 Jul 2010, 6:34 am

TechnicalPacifist wrote:
I find most people my act to be shallow and unintelligent. :?


I have to agree with that one...



linah
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15 Jul 2010, 11:42 am

deadeyexx wrote:
A significant age difference makes it clear both of you are not the same from the beginning, and other differences are more easily accepted.


Yes, exaclty. I can relate to this quote as well.
It also explains why I usually get along better with people from a different culture than my own.



passionatebach
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15 Jul 2010, 12:44 pm

I have struggled with this problem my whole life. I have always seemed to make better friends with people older than me. I thought it would get better as I got older. It did a little bit, but very little.

I think that this has to do with a lack of common interests and experiences. While a person is focusing on sports, social activities, etc, we our focusing on our special interests. Friendship I have found, is made on common experiences, personalities and interests. People who are older (or in some cases younger) may of had more of an experience with that special interest than most people our age.

What I am running in to right now is that people who are my age are focused on their careers, families, tv shows, and drinking. Since I am not married, I don't have kids or a spouse to talk about. I have a full time job, but it is not the center of my universe. I very rarely watch tv. I also very rarely drink, and even more rarely drink with other people. The only places that I have seemed to make any friends my own age is when were involved in the same experience or interest. Some examples include the basketball team that I was on in high school, my church and my volunteer activities.



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15 Jul 2010, 1:36 pm

My best friend is seven years younger than me. The idea that friendships must be with people your own age is just a byproduct of the modern education system. My parents never minded if my friends were older or younger and if it was a true friendship that's all that mattered. My sixteen year old best friend is probably my first real friend.


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Herman
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15 Jul 2010, 8:29 pm

I guess I tend to have a lot more in common with much younger people. In many ways I am only mentally on the lever of a 14 year old despite being 25 and in other ways I am like and elderly man, beaten by the toll of worldy responsibilities.

But yeah definetely kids, I tend to go skate in parks or play on jungle gyms and I end up with little kids playing with me. I actually often feel more at place in that environment when Ironically I often get annoyed with people I know my age or older for being immature.

its an odd one.



rmgh
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16 Jul 2010, 3:40 am

Herman wrote:
I tend to go skate in parks or play on jungle gyms and I end up with little kids playing with me.

Really, the police should be doing something about that.