Sparrowrose wrote:
I grew up in the American south where people will say "bless her heart" or "bless your heart" or even "bless your little heart" and they're all condescending. It will come out like, "She's living on welfare because she had four babies by three different men, none of whom stuck around, bless her heart." Or "you really are particular about your food, bless your little heart." It's a way to sound socially acceptable but "everyone knows" what it really is for is to shame someone else in some way.
I know of a similar phrase, from a cruise blog I write on. ("Cruise" refers to ships, not cars.) A subsection of that blog talks about solo cruising. I went solo on a cruise twice, and had a blast both times. Interestingly, cruising is the only type of vacation where going alone has any semblance of social acceptability. Solo cruisers are usually treated as equals vis-a-vis couples, families, and groups.
Now, one comment that I absolutely hate in response to me telling people I went on a cruise alone is "you're so brave," "that's so brave of you," "wow, that's brave," etc. Pretty much any statement containing the word "brave." Unless, of course, the ship was sinking and I carried an unconscious person to a lifeboat. Nearly everyone else on the blog agrees. The statements with the word "brave" are usually used as socially acceptable ways of saying "oh god, I hope I never have to resort to cruising alone," "I can't believe you couldn't find anyone to go with you," "I bet you were really lonely," etc. Other people on the blog agree.
By comparison, people who were truly complimenting me on deciding to take a cruise solo said something like "Hey, your friends will still be there when you come back. If they can't go with you, why should you lose out on a cruise? And you can meet new people on the ship." Or they'd say something else equally complimentary. But the word "brave" would never be used.
30 Jul 2013, 10:03 am
What's up, chuck ?
