Friends or people of the opposite gender thinking you're..

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Perhaps a better solution would be to just wear a wedding ring.

Fifteen-year-old Aspie female here, and I routinely get mistaken for a ten-year-old boy.

I don't particularly mind, though. I identify as asexual, so it's not like I'm particularly looking for a romantic relationship or anything.

Sadly, that won't stop some guys.

Nevertheless, it should still substantially reduce the amount of attention.

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Being asexual versus wanting relationship, those are 2 separate things! One does not automatically follow from the other. Asexual people can have and want (non-sexual) relationships.

Wedding ring won't help any problem. The only problem it would help is to easily get rid of someone who comes onto you, which is easy enough to do without a wedding ring.

As for making yourself look ugly.. I've had ugly taunts in my life and they are not kind. I was more finding a way to cope with this rather than prevent it.

I second that motion...

Yeah, I know that. I just figured that most people here wouldn't and simplified--didn't feel like tacking on the 'aromantic' bit (mainly because it looks too close to 'aromatic' to my tastes!).

Thats because males only want sex. Hell, one guy isn't going to care that i'm a freak if i'm do-able from behind.

I think you're thinking way too much about this. Why is it even important that strangers may sexually evaluate you if you're not a potential partner for them, or vice versa?

As for your friends, although they may on occasion think of you in a sexual way, their feelings towards you are primarily based around being your friend. It's not like their sexual thoughts have any bearing on the friendship you share with them, is it? Not unless you give the impression that you're offering more, which I doubt you are.

That's a pretty generalized thing to say. Statistically speaking, I know guys tend to be the hornballs, but I have women friends that do nothing but talk about sex, who they'd do and how. It's not every guy and it's not every girl.



At this point, no offense, but I really think you are just getting too much into the dirty details of what people think and obsessing over it. A very aspie thing to do and a hard habit to break. Like any train of thought, you've gotta stop it right at the first thought and cut to something else. Allow yourself that initial "Ugghh!! !" reaction and quickly try to think of something new before your mind latches onto that. The best trick is to immediately look around for something mundane to read.

hale, at some point you really just have to say "f**k it" and not worry about what other people think.

Sometimes you just want someone to be a genuine friend and be there for you as such without them having designs on wanting to f**k you (as thats pretty much what men really think about).

Please put the word “most” in front of men/males in these statements.

Not all men are like that.

Sorry about that, but I try hard not to be a jerk, so I don’t like it when stereotypes include me.

That being said, I agree with what you guys said, most men do seem to think like that. Which is annoying because it doesn’t make for good conversation.

I also agree with the original post, it doesn’t happen to me that I am aware of, but it would be uncomfortable.

I agree, it's quite insulting. I have several female friends, most of which are quite attractive, and I have no designs on getting into their pants.






... but I'm not gay or anything.

Seriously -- The irony of the day: The girls who complain about all (or most) guys being a**holes are the ones who always end up with a**holes (or alone). Why? Because they have accepted that all guys are a**holes, they either can't screen the a**holes or their bitterness blinds them to which ones are a**holes. The ones who know the truth (and therefore have a healthy outlook on dating) are invariably the ones who have the most success in relationships.

Even if you did experience desire to get in their pants, there is nothing wrong with that PROVIDED you are happy to remain friends with them regardless of whether you get in their pants.

It is only bad if sex is a requirement to maintain the friendship. By itself, experiencing desire is fine.




You two are being misandrists and/or falling for inaccurate stereotypes. The reality of the situation is that on average, women think about sex just as much as men. Some men even feel threatened by the extent of female sexuality.

Men may be a little more obvious about their sexual desires. Also women may feel a pressure to be less obvious about it because of that horrible unfair label "slut". Some or many women may not talk about sex but they are still thinking about it -- if you become their friend and start talking about sex with them on a friend-to-friend basis in private, then you realize that they certainly do have strong sexual desires, just as strong as a man.

SOME men only want sex. However, you cannot judge all males by the actions of a few. Maybe you are regularly approached by men who only want sex, and it is making you put it out of proportion.

Humans, both male and female, are sex addicts or sexual beings. Sex is a perfectly healthy and natural thing and it is normal and common for both males and females to think about it a fair bit. You need to get over it, or else it will screw you up emotionally, and make it more difficult for you to maintain friendships and relationships.

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That is a very good point. Also, having strong sexual desires, that by itself, does NOT make a man or woman an a**hole. It makes them normal.

There's a difference between those who are friends and genuinely care for you, and those who only care for you up until the point they get into your pants. It's important to be aware of this distinction and not say that all men are like the latter simply because they have sexual desire.

Personally hale_bopp, I think you should take it as a compliment if it's your friends saying this. I think their main intention in letting you know they think you're attractive is designed to make you feel good about yourself, nothing more, nothing less.

yeah one of the reasons i have no friends is my taste in women [i.e. really short hair and no breasts] but the thing is i shouldnt even have standards cause i've never been with a girl but i try anyways. but that gets me angry is that people including family members are always saying you want to have sex and i say no i dont and they're like yeah right i'ts not i would'nt have sex its just dont see a reason for it besides making babies otherwise its pretty disgusting. and i wish more women stop labeling me as wanting sex because i'm a guy. i'm just unfortunate to be one