tried to "out" a fellow autistic - was it wrong?

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If I was you I would have just left him alone.. I wouldn't like someone trying to tell me what I have.. but nevermind, it's over now.

well, first of all, thank you for all the different perspectives. you have made me think a lot.

it occurs to me that if that person had been my own student I think I would have had a better idea how to approach him... but as he wasn't, i acted just as socially incompetent as i usually am in the world outside my classroom.

i guess i am so used to people, even or especially NT friends who actually like me, telling me i am a little weird ... and i just accept it because, well, it's true. i don't take it as an insult anymore, not from friends. when my NT friend who's from the same country as my husband was visiting back home and was able to meet him face2face before i did (because he and i met online) and she told me "you are kinda weird, but he's REALLY WEIRD", well, i have to admit i took it as a good sign, and i even told her so.
I guess i figured other atypical people were also aware that they didn't act like NT's.

At some point in the semester in my classes we usually talk about learning styles and how they have to do with your personality. I tell them that if they are geeks they should enjoy being geeks (or whatever else their personality is, because it's painful to try to change your personality to fit the world, and it's better to just try to do good and useful things with the personality that you have.)
I try to break the stigma of words like that, because it took me until age 26 or so to realize that one COULD enjoy being a nerd or a geek or whatever...

But maybe i do tend to forget that without explanation and a shift of perspective, many people feel that those things are an insult (and autistic even more so). commonly when i say i am a geek, a nice girl student will say "Don't say that!" like I was saying i was stupid or something. so then I explain the thing about personalities...

Natalia, I do think that you were right to try and reach out. It just wasn't his time for that. You have no way of knowing who is ready and who isn't without trying.

I might have done the same thing as you (if i was in an altruistic mood) I think people can react differently to diagnosis or self-diagnosis, and it might be quite painful. BUT if they have access to a good support group, then after the dust has settled they'll feel better for having found out.


I sometimes wonder how many people suspected, but never told me and whether life would have worked out differently if id been able to start working out my AS issues earlier.

maybe he went home, googled 'asperger' & is now in the throws of autistic self-revelation? Next time you see him he might come over & express an interest in the group. Either way, you put the possibility out there and now the balls in his court.