I wonder if it's easier for aspies to get along on the net..

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what about if you have no one to visit?

I think your right bobcat. the definition if real is very slippery here. When I use the word "real" I just mean it is a valid form of communication between people. I do think that being in person is the most inclusive form of communication. But for me personally that doesn't make other forms of comunication less real. Just not complete. I am not sure if we are both saying the same thing from different points of view though bobcat. I would love to here more of your view of "real"

I suppose that my definition of 'real' regarding communication is that you get the true meaning of what is being said without it being clouded by confusion (particularly about body language, etc). That you get to talk with the real person rather than the image of themself they feel you want to see or how you think you are seeing them based on their appereance, body language, tone of voice, etc- admittedly the fact I am talking to the real person is down to trust.

I also feel that I am much more myself online than I can be in real life. In real life, I get very muddled and confused, and often do not know what to say. I'll stutter and misword things, or say something completely irrelevant or out of left field, or, in most cases, just say nothing at all. In real life, my lips are always pursed together, and I speak only when spoken to, unless I know someone well.

I have a difficult time ordering my thoughts in preparation for spoken dialogue. In contrast, it is much easier for me to do so in type. I can pause when I need to think about what I am going to say next (as I just did before typing this sentence). I can also go back and edit what I've said to make more coherant sense. There is no need for the speed and urgency that seems to come with real life situations.

I don't feel that this is a more "real" form of contact, however. In real life, you do get more of a sense of who a person is, by the actions they take, by the clothing that they wear, by the volume of their speech, and by who they spend their time with. While it is difficult for me to connect with people in real life, I do think that there are benefits to knowing people in real life, and not just online. You can not go to the movies or watch TV with an online friend. Nor can you call on an online friend to help you out when you are sick. They are just not physically there for you, they can't be.

So I save part of myself for my online friends, and another part for the ones I have in real life.

Do you mean Aspie to aspie internet relationships or Aspie to NT relationships?

For both, I would say I definitley do not find it easier to get along with them on the internet.

Most of the people on this board don't like me due to my blunt opinions and matter of fact way.

Offline people just seem more real, not obsessed with fantasy worlds and stuff.. just my opinion.

If I knew aspies offline I would get along with them better than on the internet, they would probably think i'm weird and stuff, I don't seem to fit in anywhere, but online.. I just don't... conflict of beliefs and thinking, conflict on pretty much everything.

I find that If I contact someone on the net or phone first it really takes away alot of nerves in real life contact. Actually...this is real life! There are a few cons out there and alot of them are just messed up too. I met this girl once that had 2 different MSN names and her lists were full of people that she really didn't know. It was like a warning sign for me to back up and just kind of sneak away carefully. However, these things being general in occurance is very very rare for me. It's like what people always say about ebay, "ooooh , you have to watch out for ebay". To that I just say "why? Do you even use ebay?". Usually the response comes up as a no.
In person I can get along with people but it's usually only with loud, outspoken ones

Hale bopp, I just love you, anyone who doesn't, well, thats their problem.
You remind me of my blunt and to the point sisters!

Yeah that is right less stimulus less for the brain to process and there is no flaming that helps. Still that is no training for real life . The stressor make you learn .

Definitely find it easier on the net.

The extra time tolerance people allow when expecting a reply gives me more time to think what I'm actually saying instead of being put on the spot.

With close friends and stuff, I find it easier in person. I can be more expressive, and because weve known eachother for so long I'm comfortable and don't need to really think about what to say. I can be spontaneous. This is also the same of people with the same interests, because I know that I'll have something to fall back on in a conversation - those little safeguards are nice.

If it's someone I'm getting to know, then the internet is better. It also offers time to plan, think and consider topics of conversation, which is hard to do in a flowing face-to-face conversation. The anonimity is sort of a protection too, which gives me comfort.

It is really easy for me to interact with people over the net than it is in person. Because I never get to say what I truely want to say unless I get angry and argue with another person unitl I'm run try without any more hurtful things to say. Only I get out what I want to say to those who will actualy listen.

Last edited by TigerFire on 08 Apr 2006, 8:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The internet just turns everyone into an autistic. People don't kow what tone you're saying stuf fin, body language ect.

Real life ftw

In real life the thoughts and words are in my head, but either they don't come when I need them or I can't express them properly....and no one can understand what I really mean at times ...so I spend alot of my time in silence.

It's just so much easier being able to write...when I hold a conversation in real life I sometimes feel like I'm on trial, it's exhausting just trying to get the words out right.

same as me then, i always have "software" trying to help me not be wierd, online i do not need it ^licks^

jammie