Bully Victims

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Thank you, all of you for sharing, and I'm so sorry to hear of how aweful things were for you. All of your posts were of comfort to me, because I went through the same thing, and to know I'm not alone.

Like you, Guilliman, I was bullied as early as kindergarden, especially by this b**ch named Katherine who would blow in my face and call me fat (I was skinny as a rail but she called me fat for some reason), and would say my crayon drawings were stupid, and everyone else would laugh, and Katherine did NOT tease anyone else as badly, it was JUST ME who she teased, so of course that made it worse...

Junior high, I won't even go there... and my parents were overprotective, and they never quite grasped that I was being bullied when most others were not being bullied at my level, that I had no friends and didn't know why I couldn't make friends. My parents just kept saying "but we think you're just fine and you can always know that we love you" but they didn't grasp that at my age I wanted my peers to love me as well, but my peers hated me, or worse, were indifferent to me, except the ones who directly bullied me of course. My dad, and probably my mom too, is most-likely an Aspie as well. I was also bullied by one of my sisters, nothing too horrible, in fact it wasn't bullying as much as lack of emotional support for what I was going through, since she was "normal" and did not know how to relate to what I was going through. (She was the only "normal" person in the family, the rest are most likely aspies, even though I'm the only one who is diagnosed at this point.)

I was like Xeno in high school in that I wasn't bullied as much has completely ostracized. I was like Bloodheart in that I had only one friend and she wasn't even a friend, she was mean to me but I had to hang around her because I was desparate not to look like a complete outcast and loner. People were indifferent to me, and very standoffish. In my senior year there was one b**ch who worked at the library who didn't even know me, and I would need help with stuff and she would be mean and snippy and would tell me I was a nuisance, for no f**king reason other than that I was unpopular and wierd. Everything I ever asked her to help me with was normal stuff that any other student needed help with; I wasn't asking her bizarre, obscure questions or anything, but she sure as hell treated me as such.

In college I had four different dorm roommates move out on me. Not because they couldn't get along with me, as I was sort-of doormat-ish, very flexible with plans and was about the easiest person on the planet to get along with. No, they moved out on me because they were "uncomfortable" living with someone who was wierd and hermit-ish and who couldn't make friends, even though it wasn't my fault I couldn't make friends, although of course at the time I didn't know it wasn't my fault and I was just so confused...

And like NeverFitsIn, I was also bullied by lovers, such as Joel who I dated in my late twenties. It's embarrasing that I dated a jerk like him for so long, but I was so lonely. He was verbally snippy, and would literally scream at me for doing nothing. He would make up these stupid reasons for justifying why his snippyness was legitimate, and would say so in such a loud, dominating way that I couldn't convince him that his treatment was unjustified.

I had the luxury of always being a large and fairly strong guy, so bullying was kept at a minimum. I do know that guys from other classes were making fun of me behind my back, but I could live with that as long as they didn't gang up on me. The only two occasions where bullying resulted in me getting harrassed by one of those "cool gangsta boys" that thought they could have their way with me ended in me hitting them in the face once out of nowhere. I am not a violent person, but I felt it was time to end these tries to hit on me before they could develope, and to my surprise, it worked in both cases. They avoided me and left me alone, and there wasn't even repercussion from teachers, because they did not see it, and the bullies were probably too ashamed to make a fuss about it.

With that being said, I still enrages me when I see bullying at schools, because it is something I just cannot understand how it is possible. The teachers at my school never felt responsible for doing something about it, even though they more often than not were eye witness of bullying, and usually, complaining yielded to results, either. The most you could expect as long as no physical violence was involved, was having a talk with the teacher, bully, and you. I guess the real misery about getting bullied is not only the act of bullying itself, but the fact that many times, no one is willing or able to help you.

I was constantly bullied from Kindergarten to middle of 6h when I started attending a school for dyslexia. I meet all that criteria~

Once again, I just want to thank everybody for sharing their experiences regarding what they went through in their school years. While everybody's experience was unique, it ultimately seems to be the same underlying theme. We as aspies don't conform to the expected social norm that neurotypicals seem to innately know and so we are punished for not conforming by being ostracised. I think somebody in this forum somewhere likened it to a game that we just don't know the rules to. Now for my experiences.

I never really got bullied in primary school. During my time there I always had one or two close friends that would stand up for me whenever it looked like I was going to have a meltdown. And I was usually close with the kids that were two to three years older than me so I always had some sort of protection. High school was where it got different though. Within a few days I found myself the victim of frequent bullying, and I no longer had the protection that I once had. Luckily, my "bodyguards" did give me advice for when I ended up in high school and so I did what they said. After about a week of taking this guy's crap I acted like an NT and combined it with a meltdown to stand up for myself. It had mixed results. Initially I got what I wanted but then with this initial victory my sense of social justice went out of whack and I began to beat up bullies with the underlying belief that people who do bad things deserve to be treated badly themselves. Unfortunately, despite what I believed, some people didn't seem to agree with me and I was eventually gangbashed by a large number of the bullies that I had beaten up previously. On top of that, because I'd gotten a reputation for fighting and being difficult to handle, nobody did anything about it.

Eventually I pulled my head in by the time I got to my last year of high school and managed to get into university. That was where I came into my own. Now I'm doing my postgraduate in counselling where hopefully I'm able to apply my real world experiences to help other aspies that find themselves in similar situations that I went through.

As I read everyone's post I can relate to just about every single problem. I have glaucoma, I wear glasses, I'm black and people called me the N word. I was called fa***t, gay, four-eyed (when I wore my glasses. I also have an underbite and I was made fun of for that. I had my tonsils removed at 5 and for ten years afterwards I was made fun of because I had bad breath from my tonsil surgery. What also didnt help my bad breath was my really short tongue. I couldnt stick out my tongue therefore I couldnt brush my tongue to help the bad breath and I was nicknamed stinky breath. I have a series of mouth problems that caused bullying, along with the glasses due to glaucoma. and I also don't act cool, and being a black male that can be a problem, especially when it comes to girls. I am also hairier than usual and I hit puberty earlier than most guys so I was bullied for my chest hair in 8th grade all through high school. I had teachers bully me and physically hit me. and as I got older the more outbursts I had and therefore the more racism when I have outbursts. people don't see a person dealing with trauma, they see an angry black man who needs to be controlled and arrested because he's dangerous. I've been in and out of the hospital 3 times in the past year and a half. the last time was 5 weeks ago. I was had a meltdown and shutdown from all the things that has happened to me and I was screaming in the hospital, thats all I was doing nothing else but screaming and they shot me up with 10 mg of Haldol and I had 5 dystonic reactions afterwards that almost killed me. I couldnt breath, I couldnt move, i was shaking, coughing, spitting up, choking. just because I was a black man who was screaming, and my mom is a nurse and she knows that they overdosed me with it over 8 times the recommended amount. they didnt tell me what they were giving me they just shot me up with it and it nearly killed me. my neck is still stiff right now. I also had a VR counselor who bullied me and touched me too.

Nowadays I just avoid talking about my problems. I have always been differently both physically and socially. I am quick to anger and I am on several medications that dont really help, I have OCD and I have been paranoid ever since the Haldol incident. they only thing I have going for me is that I am in a 4 year university. when I tell people about the bullying they say "f what ppl think" as if its that easy to do. I really wanna just die.

Thank you to the people who are sharing stories about being bullied as adults. I think that's overlooked a lot.
I was homeschooled until high school, so I didn't have a lot of problems with bullying, except sexual harassment (which I was surprised to learn is a form of bullying) in youth group and when I went to public high school. I've had some problems in the workplace, but almost only with guys.
When my partner and I weren't communicating well, he and a female friend of his kept ganging up on me. Actually I think it was more her and he didn't realize the extent of it - he's ADD and has his own social problems. She'd do things like the comments she made when my baby was four months old and diagnosed with Patau syndrome (a genetic disorder where 90% of the children die before they're a year old and that is associated with severe impairments). The worst one: "Hey, she looks like a troll. At least she won't need a Halloween costume." She's a neighbor and is still trying to set up social situations to snipe at me, but I'm getting better at avoiding them. My daughter and I don't get a lot of chances to socialize though, so sometimes I'll accept invitations so my daughter has someone to play with.

I went literally to hell and back every day from year 1 up until year 10. First year in high school I got a fool made out of me by some immature pre-pubescent backwards-moral-coded f**kwits who messed about in class, made me feel like topping myself on many occasions. One time though, I decided to hit back. This guy who thought he was all that and a bag of chips decided that he was going to pick on me when I wasn't in the best of moods at all, and I'd just quit Karate at the time. He decided to start a fight with me, which I can't be blamed for, he threw the first few punches, I threw some punches and kicks back, floored him and walked away. After that, he didn't say a damn word to me for the rest of the time I was at school.

There were various incidents that happened in the years that followed, including getting water-bombed in the back field at school, people trying (And almost succeeding) to get me in trouble for things that I couldn't possibly have done. Luckily I had the entire support staff in school on my side, and the issues were straightened out. I was lucky enough to be immune from detention during my time there, due to a collaboration between the support staff and my parents.

I later became the leader of the Yu-Gi-Oh! card club in the school, then when I was in year 10, we had a special place allocated for us, it was private during Wednesday lunchtimes. It helped us get away from the stresses that happened during school time.
I began playing guitar in year 9 after an unexplained Aspie tantrum, then kept on playing. Luckily during the next year I had mock study leave for GCSEs, and had nothing better to do, so I sat there for up to 18 hours a day playing it, it helped release me from the stresses of being bullied sh**less.

Later on that year we had a school concert, I got up and played with my band. It went down a storm. After that, it was only the odd year 7 potential loser who even uttered a syllable.

I had insults hurled at me, from my first day in kindergarten. When I was younger, it was in fact partially due to the fact that English was not my first language, and I had a mild accent until the end of first grade.

The criteria apply to me almost perfectly; I was that loud and squeaky-voiced nerd who sat around, read books, and nibbled her nails all through elementary school. It didn't help that I didn't always know my personal space boundaries and screamed when someone touched me but frequently played with the pigtails that a girl who sat in front of me had.

Yeah, as far back as I can remember, kids had some fun at my expense, making jokes, playing pranks, and bribing me with food so that I'd play tag with them and get made fun of because I have asthma and couldn't catch them. I got hit a few times, the worst being pushed off a playground structure in second grade, getting a swing launched at me in third (the chain split open some skin on my elbow), and having someone slam my head into a locker in middle school.

In sixth grade, I became bulimic because I was getting called fat and ugly- I thought people might stop calling me that if I just lost some weight. As it turns out, they just called me ugly as I got pale, my breath got smelly, my teeth became disgusting, my hair got messy (occasionally with bits of vomit in it, just charming) , and my knuckles got hacked up. If I learned anything from that, starving and sticking your hand down your throat will not earn you any respect.

By high school, I just decided to ignore it, and I still do. I've got friends, and I don't need to change just so that a few stuck up kids can like me.

The description in bold really applies to me. Back in elementary and middle schools, I was mainly quiet and didn't have lots of friends. Secondly, whenever my peers made silly jokes and pranks on me, I would take them very seriously and cry about them. These were the things that caused the kids to verbally bully me frequently.

In high school however, people would bully me less than they did in elementary and middle schools. During that time, I trained myself not to take jokes too seriously.

High school was also the time when I wanted to start dating and or hanging out with attractive girls, but I was never successful in accomplishing this. None of the ladies verbally taunted me. They would either respectfully decline, or give me fake phone numbers or email addresses. Some jealous boyfriends wanted me to back off. This was really frustrating.

The bolded description also applies to me. I was heavily bullied from 4th primary onwards all through until the end of school (I moved schools in 1st seconday, to no avail - super-competitive private schools aren't worth it). Started off as physical abuse, ended up as verbal/moral/social abuse.

The sad thing is, most of the teachers did not bother doing anything because apparently "my marks weren't suffering". i.e. "cba, he's not doing badly". A big kick up the rear of a couple of the bullies could've solved all my problems, but hey, my marks weren't suffering, so I wasn't having any problems. Perfectly logical, eh?

I'm nearly 50, & I still get bullied. Sometimes I feel my sole purpose in life is to be someone's punching bag, literally or figuratively. I am still trying to figure out how not to be a bully magnet.