I've noticed something here that is really bothering me...

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1... if you don't have friends then you will not enjoy your life as much as you should. nope.
2... without friends people can become increasinly depreased.(sic) still nope.
3... you will get lonely sooner or later!! ! 30 years and counting. Hasn't happened yet.
4... if you feel like no one will be or friend... you may have a risk of hurting yourself becuase of feeling lonely... See above.
5... a lonely person who no one seems to care about has a risk of suicide...
I rarely use that word... but it is important that this is understood. I don't mean to downplay or trivialize anyone's pain but I personally have never had anyone I consider to be a "true friend" and I feel fine. While this works for me, your mileage may vary.

Hi Transformingcar

I agree: friends are important. They are to me anyway.

The types of place that you mention to meet people may not be the best places to make friends if you are starting out on your own. If you are anything like me, you will have a few special interests. These interests may be quite sollitary. However, there are usually clubs or perhaps courses that you could join where you would meet people with similar interests. At least you would have something to start talking about.

It can be quite scary taking the plunge to do something new like this but once you get to know a few people, making friends can be self perpetuating as you get to meet more people.

I think that this sums it up for a lot of us with AS:

Just because I don't have friends, doesn't mean that I don't want friends.



.

I Mean no offense to other people but i think that if you truly do not want friends in your life its a little sad, because you never get to enjoy the company of other people, or feel the compassion of another, if you want to be alone then thats fine, but i think this guy wants friends badly

Your premise is flawed. I don't enjoy the company of other people unless I'm in a learning environment. And even then I certainly wouldn't call the instructor my friend. I'm simply not a people person. Never have been, and excluding neural trauma or medication, never will be.

yeah, im like that too. I like being in the class room with people and thats about it. It has to be the right people though. Not the poeple straight out of high school and behave like children and haven't experience enough things in life to know how life really is and how to treat people. I also like people who treat people how I would treat people. Not try to put people down or get a laugh out of the underdog. People also who I can relate to.

I'm sorry if this post of mine has anything wrong with it...
but I just wanted to make sure someone would understand.
also if I use CAPS LOCK to much then I'm very sorry.... It may be one of those things i feel i have to do....

I hope I have not offended anyone... but if I've said anything rude just let me know and I will try not to do it again...
I can't garuntee much (If i spelled that wrong let me know.)

I certainlly understand how most of you feel about this... or i'm trying to...

I value what friends I have very much. But do I need them? I don't think so.

True friendship should be treasured. Not chased or hoarded. And the first step in that process is to learn to be happy being with yourself.

It depends on how you define the word "friend". Having "friends" who occasionally do something with you is easy. Having casual acquaintances is easy. Finding someone who is interested in a deep life-long connection is hard. Beyond childhood, most people don't have the time or interest outside their busy family life and significant other. People simply don't have time to be true friends these days. Everything else is more important. I'm not saying this is the way things should be. I just think society is f****d up.

People posting on this board ARE enjoying the company of other people. It doesn't mean they have to make friends based on some perfect model. And if you have no desire for friendships, I don't see how that is sad. Some people just know what they like to do and socializing isn't one of them.

It is helpful to learn to get along with people, but I don't think you be made to feel bad because you'd rather do something more interesting than chat with someone. And if they're posting on this board, they are capable of finding compassion and understanding within the limits that they desire. I think that's pretty healthy.

However, if you do want friends, then I would think posting on this board would be good as well. I know that some with AS do desire friendships and you'd have more in common with someone here.

that's true.
I always liked to blame my parents though for having never getting me started on socializing as early, but i don't know if anything else is behind it, except for the fact that my outgoing bipolar syndrome energy pushed me further to give me a reason to change.
I guess it's always, to use a cliche, a simple twist of fate...

There is nothing at all in your post that should offend anybody. You have no need to apologise for your post. As with everything, people have different opinions and some may not like the style of your post. These opinions are subjective and we can't always please everybody. You have not been rude and so what if there are a few spelling mistakes.

Post away. Many of us here are trying to understand. Your post has prompted many interesting replies. The responses are very varied and I have learned from them. I would not have had this opportunity if you had not posted.

While I see myself in many replies across the whole site, This thread shows up some differences. I can understand that there are many here that do not need or want friends. I wonder though, how many of the people that have expressed this are being truthful to themselves? For me, I do need and want friends. I am just not good at making them.

guarantee

(Well, someone had to do it )