I don't know why I can't make any friends

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Thanks for the reply Krex. I totally understand. The people I do know talk about things I dont care about, boys, which bag looks best with which trousers. People also seem to get mad at me when I dont compromise, the person who wants me to go to the cinema always seems to want alot from me. The other day she said "We can hang out every friday, like I can come to your house at about 2 or something." I really dont want to.

Ah well I guess its just something I have to deal with. It's kind of reasuring to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way, of course I dont wish for people to be confused about friendships.

You think because you have aspergers you can't have friends?>


No I was just answering his question for crying out loud. He was asking why he can't have any so I explained. Duh.

I don't think I want any friends. I don't answer my phone. I don't answer the door. I only go out to get grocerys and come straight home. I only communicate with my children and my husband. I go walking in a nature preserve where I rarely run into anyone. If I do run into anyone, it ruins my mood!

Thanks for all the thoughts...

I have a few friends so I should had made that clear. There is one personailty group which seems to fit with me, others don't really, although people are not ever mean to me. They just don't know me all that well, and think I am odd because I can not play sports, or "talk funny" or something...

I have made a lot of friends online as I am into weather and the weather forums community...

As you can see from my website.

You're welcome!

Yes but you answered the question innacurately, you only answered the question based on your own experience. Your collective experience with aspergers isn't the same for everyone. All aspies are inidviduals and is effected by it differently.

Perhaps your attitude has something to do with you not being able to make friends??

I got aroused when I read that clothes are considered so important and that you wear them only for this reason.People are blind and look on superficial things,yet one must not wear clothes to please them unless one wants to.People will accept it very easily if your clothes are other than theirs if you don't pretend to be like them...
It is much more important to make good friends with them,not out of selfishness,but for their own...This way you will get accepted more than by any clothes you could wear...

your post was harsh so that's why i was harsh back. It was the way you wrote it.

sorry the crassness of my post, but all the pessimism and negativity really gets me going sometimes.

that's okay. At least we got this sorted out. I thought you were against me at first lol. I've been flamed in the past and I always assume the same whenever someone talks strongly or says a bad word.

I have always had trouble working out why I can't make friends easily...I think the truth is probably that normal people can pick up on tiny abnormalities in our behaviour, abnormalities that we ourselves may not be aware of.

And the very fact that somebody has no friends, and walks around on their own, eats lunch on their own, ect, can be seen as very strange in itself.

I have found that I can talk to people effortlessly over the internet, and I have met many people in this way, although I wouldn't consider most of them true friends.

I recently moved into a kind of residential therapy centre, for people who suffer from mental illness. Here I have managed to make a real friend, who has problems herself, and is quite understanding towards me.

My technique for making friends is to find someone who shares an interest with me, such as computer games, or animals, and talk to them. Once we start talking, I have found that I tend to "parrot" their behaviour. To put it simply, if they are affectionate towards me, I match their affection. If they joke around with me, I joke back. I'm not sure if this is the right way to do it, or if it is something that everyone does, but it seems to have some effect.

I have trouble making friends with people.. you know that stage between aquaintence and friend. >_<

Making close acquaintences is much easier than close friends, with close friends you need to share something in common or have that opposites attract thingy. I do not share a lot in common with a lot of people.

Yep. School probably isn't the best place in the world for friendmaking, IMHO. (pessistimistic, yes.) An optional place is more likely to yield better results. Apparently, they grow up after Year 11 is finished. However, I am reserving judgement on that for now.

Making friends at school is hard. I hate just talking about the “assignment” or “class” with people all the time. Two weeks ago I tried opening up myself to a girl but my damn aspi’s kicked in. The second time was even more awkward because she already formed an opinion and the third time was in a study trio and I asked her if she thought I was weird and she let me have it. In my defense, I told her all about my misfortunes in high school and now she won’t even wave or say high back. I can see her right now and she’s just so closed minded. I thought that by handing out with intellectuals would be good for me as a group of friends. But I know now that she is a fake intellectual and isn’t very bright when it comes to class.

I'm really friendly to people who are familiar to me... I'll be able to start up conversations with them, or they might start to say something to me, and we'll be ok for a while. But eventually, I run out of things to say and then we just sort of stand there, and it feels so incredibly awkward that I just turn around and walk away. Or, I might want to say something, but the other person will just walk away slowly while I'm talking. Why?? Is the other person giving off some kind of cue beforehand that this conversation is over? It always gave me the impression that whenever I talked to people, it was always because the other people wanted it, and the discussion would always be on their terms. It made talking to people really frustrating, oftentimes! Makes it very difficult to try to develop new friendships.