What to do when pple scream and shout at you? Thanks.

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To all: Thank you.
To Jayo: Yeah, more than one NT told me before that I shouldn't view this world as either all-black or all-white. Ironically, they themselves sometimes make black-or-white statements.
To To7m: I'm really grateful to you for pointing out why NTs often misinterpret as as not paying attention to them. Unlike most people, I need time to think through before replying. As a result, I leave gaps during conversations quite often.
To jamieevren1210: Yes, I sometimes blank out so that my ears won't suffer so much.
To Djimbe: I might try your method if people ever scream at me again.
To cleo: Um, maybe I can share some incidents with you.
Incident 1: A relief teacher was scolding the whole class for "being so noisy". I was reading my textbook while paying full attention to her, as in, I could hear every word. She snatched my textbook away and started screaming at me. My form teacher scolded me in front of the whole class again when she returned. She said that the relief teacher complained to her in the staff room that I was "such a rude and disrespectful girl".
Incident 2: I once worked in the fast food industry for a while. My managers were initally all very polite towards me, then they turned abusive. They often screamed at me in front of customers. I quit very soon cos the most junior manager screamed in front of all my colleagues that I was "stupid" and "slow" and he was "ten times more efficient than me".
Incident 3: I used to be a school librarian. The librarian-in-charge then was a creepy old guy. Once, he asked me something. I didn't check my email inbox, so I was unaware that he was asking me about an upcoming meeting. He started screaming at me in front of another student, "You don't check your emails every day?!" and so on and so forth.

If people scream at me, I just sit there and not give them any attention. If they want to talk to me, they will do it in a fashion that makes both of us feel comfortable.

If it goes on, I start to scream back. Usually doesn't end well.

Okay, now we know what these are related to.
Sorry, but I don't always think a generic answer applies to every situation.

The first situation sounds like that scene out of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone where Harry is writing and Snape screams at him. As you all know from the movie, Harry is paying attention and Snape simply doesn't like him. What the movie shows you is that this situation was used because people could relate to it. I.E. it happens to many people. My advice in this case is do what Harry did, nothing to the teacher. As soon as their back is turned, look at the person next to you and roll your eyes. Don't let the teacher see you. The class will laugh. Be cool. Nothing more.

The job market is so tight that competition for positions is fierce at every level. What used to be tolerated isn't. Even slow investment bankers are being fired. Employers can be super picky. The other employee may have wanted your hours. More for them if they can get you fired. If you respond slowly, and MANY of us do, fast food is not a good occupation. I for one know I could NEVER be a waitress. I'd clean houses first. I say that in all honesty as a very high functioning AS. I would never be able to get one order right, let alone get them out there FAST. To quote Shakespeare: "...and this above all, to thine own self be true."

As to the last one, I'm guilty of the same thing. I don't read my email at work more than once a day. In the morning. So I do miss emails sent in the afternoon. Luckily I have been there a long time and have a pretty secure job. No one has yelled at me about it, but they have been annoyed. I try now to check them again in the afternoon. You actually DO have to do what they want at work. Everyone does. Even me.

BTW, loud excited talking translates to me as "yelling". I often tell my husband to stop "yelling" at me. He's Italian. It's just the way they talk. He's not angry, just excited. I've been with him 20+ years and I still wish he'd 'calm down." Isn't happening.

I second the serial killer voice suggestion, many people find dissonant serenity oddly threatening, and yet there's nothing they can legitimately complain about. A good technique is reverse mirroring, get quieter as people get louder, get slower as they get faster, and more relaxed as they grow more agitated. Aside from the conflict resolution benefits, you'll soon develop a reputation for coolness under fire. Some drugs can help as well if you're still having real difficulties, I've had good luck with benzos, others with beta blockers.

Smile