Colleagues Laughing

Post Reply New Topic

OMG that's terrible. There's something wrong with these people. I know I've been bullied and like you uninvited even by friends but never as blatantly except in high school. I remember a couple of girls making fun of me in the work place and my own manager who caught them while they were in the room with me. She told them to knock it off. They left me alone after that. I don't know what to suggest. Sitting here and suggesting you confront them is easier said than done. I myself have trouble with confrontations because it requires good communication skills without going totally anal and there were times where I lost it. Is there any way you might find another job while holding this one for now? Also without coming off mean, you could just ask what their problem is. They certainly sound like they have issues.

I wish there was more I could suggest. Whatever you do, don't get depressed to the point where you think death is the only option. I went through that and it was very painful for me and my family and I discovered that no matter what people said about me, I wasn't going to let them dictate or believe what they said. Bullies want you to believe you are less than what you really are. So I'm having a hard time believing it is you so much as it is the people. Shame on the ones who didn't defend you or give some sort of consolation. If anything, being bullied has made me strong in terms of standing up for people who are being singled out. I hope you eventually (even though you're probably feeling really low right now) gain strenght from this and other experiences. Eventually maybe you could help other people who are in the same boat. As for now, I really don't know what I'd do in your situation except look for other jobs provided that you keep this one until you do find one that you feel you can handle. Sometimes change is hard but required if we're in a situation that is unbearable. I know change is especially hard for those of us on the spectrum. We want things and events to have a predictable outlet but taking risks (healthy risks) is the only way to get ahead or out of a situation that's setting you back. You may also want to see therapist or someone to talk to in order to help with your goals. Personally I've never been a big fan of therapy costing a lot of money since most of the ones I've had tell you want you want to hear. Group therapy and counselors were usually the ones I got more insight and help from.

I don't think you want these kinds of people to be your 'friends' anyways...

A couple other people suggested NOT trying to befriend people at work. In this particular instance that's good advice. There's no use wanting to hang around people like this.

Couldn't agree more.

changing job wont sort out the problem. the problem is not with the job its with me...i have a expressionless face with no energy or great communication skills and without that i dont fit anywhere.

i have never tried social behaviour theraphy....maybe sometime in near future i might try it.
i do feel depressed and many times feel that suicide could be a good choice i mean whats i am going to loose if i end it

ya this two are extrovert and they find me awkward
i would be a mismatch if i try to befriend them

Namaste, I am very sorry about the social problems that you have been experiencing in the workplace, and I think you should get some help from some therapists or counselors ASAP.

As for me, I was never tormented or laughed at by people in the workplace, but I feel like they don't like me deep inside. Whenever I say things or ask questions that seem to be harmless, they would blatantly reprimand me for doing so. I would feel very confused afterwards. In addition, no one in the workplace were willing to invite me out to their social gatherings and add me on Facebook. I never had any success establishing social friendships with anyone in the workplace and it made me very confused, angry and sad. I don't know if the workplace is a good place for Aspies to make friends at.

Namaste, I think you are making some serious thinking errors here. You are correct that the problem isn't the with the job, but you are wrong thinking that the problem is with you. The problem is with the people that are cruel towards you. Some people are dicks, but you seem to be taking responsibility for their crappy behaviour and speak like you deserve it when you don't. This sounds to me like work place bullying. Do you have a manager you can speak to about it?

It's terribly sad that you sometimes feel depressed and suicidal, but feeling this way is transient. Maybe you just need a bit of help to sort out the problem that is making you feel so bad.

Please cut yourself some slack. I'm confident that you have good qualities and also qualities that other people find endearing, but you are so busy being hard on yourself that you don't allow yourself to see them.

i have been able to establish friendship in my earlier place of work but here its not becoming possible i dont know the reason we have been allotted different schools and based on that there is already groupism
i have been socially outcasted too and have not gone ahead to add anyone on facebook i dont want to see their photos of hanging out with each other after office hours
it would only leave me more lonely and isolated.

namaste, I'm sorry you're being treated like that.

They're bullies.

Does the place you work for have any type of anti-bullying policy in place? If they do, it would probably be worth looking into. I had a fair few problems with a bully in my station, and it only stopped when I finally bit thew bullet and files a formal greivance against them, getting the HR department and my divisional officer involved.

Some bullies thrive on confrontation, it's an utter fallacy that they'll all back down when you stick up to them, especially as there seems to be a group/mob thing going on there. Find out what the company policy is, and speak to your supervisor, or if they won't listen, have a chat with your manager. An employer has responsibility in the UK for employee welfare, though I don't know if that's the case in other countries.

Good luck

You are right this girl is a bully, she acts too smart.
But i give her cold vibes and she understood that i will not take her nonsense
i will wait and watch her behaviour and report her if she continues
she has a good hold over the manager, supervisor etc they would support her and not trust me

I have reported this girls behaviour to my assistant manager. Asst. manager said that she will ask her to speak politely with colleagues.

Today when i was just about to sit she pulled across the chairs and was telling me to keep the chairs behind....she didnt want me to sit there
her behaviour is really depressing me.

I shared her behaviour with one of my other colleague who also asked me to fire her because she has no right to speak so rudely with me.