"It's their loss if they reject me"

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Relationships are just like a job.
If we find people who are interested in socialization with us the way we are - then we can develop a good relationship with them.
This involves a certain level of trust.
If you cannot trust them, then there is no use trying to develop a relationship with them.

Most times when two people gets married - the one hopes that the other will change while the other hopes things will stay the same or get better.

No, it's their gain.

If they don't like you, leaving you and regaining their freedom is obviously a good thing.

To me, it cuts both ways.

If they hate me, it's their loss. At the same time, for me, I have more freedom.

I wish I knew of this when i was growing up... sadly the mantra I took you was a little more pessimistic. "I may not be better than, but I know I am not worse...) again, didn't really solve the problem. but I go me through some tough times... still in hindsight, if I could bring those times back and do things all over again I would... hell, I bet everyone would...

I don't think it's necessarily pessimistic. All human beings have flaws, and poor social skills and rejection shouldn't equal a "worse" person whereas something like a clever sociopath or your garden variety loudmouth wouldn't.

yeah, I guess it was just hard, once I got into college a lot of my old interests were not or less beaten out of me. the college was rather conservative, the things I really liked and shared with my friend back in high school I had to keep secret from everyone else... which kinda sucks because it was one of the things that made me happy and had me drien back in those days. now I wonder if I can ever get that back...

First off I love the title of your posting as the words "It's their loss" often makes me realize that I am not in control of the other person's decision. It also helps me realize that I am not going to please some people and I am not going to change for them. So it is better that I don't associate with someone who is miserable around me. I figure if they like you one minute and then dump you over something stupid then it is their bid.