26 Jul 2012, 6:36 pm
26 Jul 2012, 7:18 pm
Join the club, heh. 
27 Jul 2012, 7:46 pm
AspieBoy2012 wrote:
I have a few online friends but offline there is no one,i'm a loner! 
the thing is i have made friends in the past, i have attended social groups and courses and had jobs etc where i have met people who liked me and who i liked and friendships began to develop many times, but they never seemed to last. Sometimes the other person seemed to eventually notice i was different and just couldn't understand me and backed away, other times i guess it was me not putting in enough time and effort, i have learnt now that if you neglect a friendship you will lose it without doubt, friends don't stick around the way family do, you can back away and neglect family and then go back as the link is always there, but friends will leave you. But when i think of all the people i did begin to develop friendships with, if i was still in contact with them now it would be a good couple of dozen people at least!! But theres just no one.
I have always wanted friends and to be sociable, but it doesn't come naturally to me. I am always better in a 1 to 1 than a group. in a group i try to be friendly and talk but nothing comes, i can just literally sit there and i have nothing to say, i see so many people come into a group and within 5 minutes they are right in there chatting away and making friends. i find the effort drains away all my energy, and people think i am being miserable and anti social and not making any effort, but i'm not! they don't realise how much of an effort it was for me to even be there in the first place! Sometimes i find being around people so hard that i just shut myself away, i feel safer then and happy sometimes, but other times just bored and lonely.
The worst is on summer days going out to the park by myself, having no one i can ring or text to come along, and seeing large groups of friends together having fun and i'm just sat there by myself watching, thats when it really gets to me. or when something bad happens and i just wish i had a friend to turn to, to talk to about it and go out and get smashed or whatever. sometimes i see groups of lads and badly wish i was one of the lads too, i often think it seems cool to be a bit naughty and a bit of a lad sometimes!! !
I wish i had friends, not like millions just a few close friends, knowing how many times i could have had it and lost it is the hardest part.
the thing is i have made friends in the past, i have attended social groups and courses and had jobs etc where i have met people who liked me and who i liked and friendships began to develop many times, but they never seemed to last. Sometimes the other person seemed to eventually notice i was different and just couldn't understand me and backed away, other times i guess it was me not putting in enough time and effort, i have learnt now that if you neglect a friendship you will lose it without doubt, friends don't stick around the way family do, you can back away and neglect family and then go back as the link is always there, but friends will leave you. But when i think of all the people i did begin to develop friendships with, if i was still in contact with them now it would be a good couple of dozen people at least!! But theres just no one.I have always wanted friends and to be sociable, but it doesn't come naturally to me. I am always better in a 1 to 1 than a group. in a group i try to be friendly and talk but nothing comes, i can just literally sit there and i have nothing to say, i see so many people come into a group and within 5 minutes they are right in there chatting away and making friends. i find the effort drains away all my energy, and people think i am being miserable and anti social and not making any effort, but i'm not! they don't realise how much of an effort it was for me to even be there in the first place! Sometimes i find being around people so hard that i just shut myself away, i feel safer then and happy sometimes, but other times just bored and lonely.
The worst is on summer days going out to the park by myself, having no one i can ring or text to come along, and seeing large groups of friends together having fun and i'm just sat there by myself watching, thats when it really gets to me. or when something bad happens and i just wish i had a friend to turn to, to talk to about it and go out and get smashed or whatever. sometimes i see groups of lads and badly wish i was one of the lads too, i often think it seems cool to be a bit naughty and a bit of a lad sometimes!! !
I wish i had friends, not like millions just a few close friends, knowing how many times i could have had it and lost it is the hardest part.
This is the biography of my life too
daydreamer84
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world
28 Jul 2012, 12:06 am
IndieSoul
Deinonychus
Joined: 2 Jul 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 342
Location: A planet in the Solar Federation
28 Jul 2012, 12:49 am
01 Aug 2012, 3:09 am
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