How to make friends with a shy person

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Maybe he really does like you(in all seriousness). He's clearly nervous when around only you.

Just try to get to know him better. Have a good time, hang out at work, school, etc.

He's clearly shy(I can relate) and thus won't open up right away, or maybe even never. If so, he's still a good friend.

For me it's the opposite: my obliviousness combined with wanting to be friends with girls usually ends up in disaster.


Just be his friend at the end of the day. No harm done.

I'll give it a try. Sometimes I have the patience of a saint, and other times, not so much :-/ Thanks for all the input guys

~K

I've gotten hung up on women I occasionally see but know virtually nothing about. I've got a crush on a woman I regularly see when I run on the weekends. About the only things I know about her is her first name and that she can do a seven minute mile. As I can only run about a nine minute mile, our conversations have been rather brief.

Edit: rephrasing this: If you both end up running the same, and she starts talking to you, asks you a question, and you answer it. Are you going to randomly start running on a different road from her when your conversation is hardly over, every. single. time?

-K

Once upon a time, possibly. I used to be pathologically shy, and women who I "liked" (were attracted to) really scared the hell out of me. I had trouble speaking, couldn't get my words out, and would be so mortified by my awkwardness I would look for an escape.

I got over it. Sort of.

I've done that a lot before too, but I guess what throws me off with him is that he's perfectly articulate. No mumbling, stumbling over words, or not knowing what to say, and I always try to make a conversation that will easily lead into another, even if it's just small talk - I feel like I'm pulling teeth. I have noticed that when he has talked to me a bit it's when it's more or less just us.

-K

On the other hand, I have experienced what you have experienced in someone I like. And just when I reconcile with myself that maybe it isn't in the cards to be together with this person, a well-meaning friend will give me a pep talk and get my hopes up and I try even harder, and it winds up being even more awkward and uncomfortable for everyone concerned.

Trust your own instincts. Maybe the proper course of action is to hang back and see if he comes to you. Sometimes a person trying to open you up can feel a little intimidating. I've been on both sides of that situation too.

I have no instincts kicking in on this one I think that unless I have to, I'm going to just talk to him if he's talking to me, which will probably just be in a group and rarely. Thanks for the advice NT.

~K