loser of the D&D group

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It's possible a lot of the issue may be in your head and you just need to relax a bit. That being said, not all roleplaying groups are laid back and you may have just found a bad one. I was in a group that fizzled out and broke up mostly over stupid misunderstandings and people taking things way to seriously. My group went through a lot of drama before we found a nice lineup that worked.

It's funny how whats supposed to be fun escapist entertainment can sometimes get very serious (I'm guilty on more than one occasion.) Get 4-6 social misfits in one room (many of whom probably have thier own communication issues) and watch society crumble.......

A lot of people find groups actually very difficult to socialise in. The common advice when someone wants to make more friends is to join groups, but that hasn't been easy for me at all. Usually in a group, everyone else all knows each other already, so it can feel awkward breaking in as the new person. If you are part of a batch of new people, there is a high probability you will be subjected to ghastly teambuilding games and name games.

So you're not a social failure just because you didn't thrive in this group situation. I hope you can find a solution that works for you.

Also with games like this amount of fun changes with the group.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience with D&D. To be honest, I did too. I only played once but for 7 hours with a true die in the hard DM. He is on the spectrum and D&D is truly his world.

Anyway, I don't think you are alone. D&D is not like Lord of the Rings where you have a story from finish to end. It's more about making logical decisions that are based on the scenario and the evidence around you. As much as I love fantasy this is a boring game because you can't always move ahead in every session.

However, in your case, it sounds more like a social blindness issue and having the frustration of not having your friend give you guidance on how to play.

The person who is the DM by the way is very socially blind and has extremely poor social skills in addition to a controlling side. As a DM, although very good, he was pretty rude to us. He snapped at us for not focusing the way he did or threw a fit every-time one of us did not see eye to eye with him on certain points. I ended up laughing at him several times that day because he acted so immature and inconsiderate to a newbie and that was me.

I'm trying to organize a gaming group for Classic Traveller. Most of the people seem to think that RPGs are like Magic: The Gathering (a card game!) or that there is some way to "win" an RPG. Most have college degrees.

RPGs are all about building a story -- they're described as "Episodic and extemporaneous radio theater without the radio" for just this reason. They're not war games, they're not card games, and they're not board games. They're Role-Playing games in which each player, upon learning of the conditions within the story, decides what his or her character will do, and then rolls dice to determine the outcome while keeping in mind that the referee (GM, DM, Moderator, or Facilitator) is also rolling dice to modify the players' determinations.