why are we (aspie) so bad with women?

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In heaven autistics will be the ladies man.

One neurotypical woman married my best friend just to get back at me.

Maybe all the Islamic suicide bombers got Aspergers.

Even the autistic ladies?

Sounds like some one needs advice, well im not much for details but my dad once told me to get to know the girl/guy before any form of commitment most people don't know the girl or guy well enough so the girl or guy will think you are stalking them when you are just trying to get to know them.

I just get this feeling that I am compared to criminals by a few NTs.

I thought it was only those popular women that have women only friends. And the rest of NT women like men to be their friends because they are non judgemental. Are aspie men then coming off as judgemental? Or do we always try to push the relationship from friend to something else?

From what I have read on this forum, aspie women don't want to mix with aspie men in groups, because the men don't know their boundaries.

I have to admit, if I look in the office at work, I don't actually see anyone worth talking to. I'm sure they are interesting people. I did have a sort-of female friend at work a while ago. But only because she was stubborn and quirky... err ok. So it seems I don't really have NT women friends

If you use that language, it's easy to understand why you have a hard time with women. The smart women don't respond to that attitude because we don't waste our time with guys who spew misogynistic BS.

Here's the common sense answer for billiscool: The reason why aspie guys have a hard time getting a date is because they're not always attentive to who is actually interested in a date with them. They key is that you have to know ahead of time if someone is interested in you. This means learning all the necessary non-verbal signals. I remember that I used to have no clue when a guy was interested in me. Now that I'm 25, I'm just learning how to do this. Remember that Homo sapiens is a species of animal, and like other animals, we use nonverbal cues to communicate our desire for a prospective courtship. The action of finding a date is very visceral, and cannot be accomplished solely by the use of verbal language.

That last part is huge. Having a girl friend, I dont even think she has to be NT, just female, she'll point out all the girls checking you out. It's like having a translator or a radar.... I'd call it trandar but then that would mean something totally different.........

Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

But really, those who talk about people almost exclusively are... gossip queens.

An interesting article on gossip...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip


LOL!! !

I hope it is OK to post here as an NT. I am new to this site. I just wanted to say that I very much love an AS man, but when we met (first date) he did ALL the talking and though a lot of men do this, it was striking. I thought it was nerves. Afterwards he said, "this seems to have gone well...you listened to me." But I had to admit that I felt left out of the conversation. It wasn't until much later I realized this would be a pattern and it is hard to feel that a person shows zero interest in what you have to share. But you see I didn't understand the AS thing back then. I could work with the situation better now. Also, I am a woman who can't relate to most NT women at all. The whole sex and the city thing horrifies me. My women friends don't relate to those characters at all. So I hope everyone here gets that a lot of NT women don't find it interesting to discuss people and are JUST as frustrated with the kind of women you describe. I was in a sorority in college (family pressure). It was ALL wrong for me and I felt like a complete outsider.

^^^ Nice post. My comments were broad generalisations, designed to give an extremely basic view of the way the stereotypical, "super-NT" thinks and acts (i.e. those who conform the most to gender norms). I might not have made it clear enough that of course there are plenty of NT women who aren't like that. At my previous job, most of the women were more like you by the sounds of it. I had much more in common with them and the conversations were very different. I suppose I would say to an aspie, if you are having trouble understanding a woman, the most likely reason is because she is not being straight-forward. And I still think that's more likely to happen with a woman than a man.