does anyone here try to do "small-talk"

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I actually like small talk .

When people ask "How are you?" and I'm feeling bad, I always feel guilty because I don't want to lie to them, even though I know they don't actually care how I'm doing. I:>

Also, small talk in general for me is boring and awkward, and I hate doing it. Thank god my school is quirky and the kids here have weird boundary issues? ;;orzz

No, because I don't emotionally bond with people, which is what the purpose of small talk is. My purpose in relationships is different... I seek to obtain/share useful and helpful knowledge. My version of small talk are repetitive nonverbal or small verbal exchanges that appear quite random to other people.

The only thing that confuses me about small talk is how anyone is supposed to find it enjoyable or fulfilling. I can take part in the 'conversation' if I want, but it takes a lot of concentration and frankly just isn't worth it to me. I usually just tune it out and only chime in when the subject drifts onto something interesting or funny (or something I can seque into being interesting or funny).

This is only my opinion and I have nothing to back it up. But if NTs have a prejudice towards persons on the autism spectrum, would be because they use social intelligence to gauge and value your worth. Those that are slow to respond or interest to engage in this social battlefield if you will, get rated accordingly. I would imagine that NTs would mimic this too and they might be better at it, as I guess, they set the rules.

yeah i do it often at work.

Its my way of just trying to build my social relations with the outside world. When Im at home im more quiet and reserved

If I didn't know how to do at least some small talk I would not be employed.

I'm usually in scenarios where I interact with NT's on a daily basis, so I'm forced to do it a lot, even though it's not really my preference.

I don't really enjoy it, but I do it because I see it as a "gateway" into the things that I'd much rather discuss.

It has a purely emotional basis and allows the other person to establish whether you are a likable person or not. It sets a friendly "tone" and allows people to become comfortable with each other...and I know that most people on the spectrum have difficulty with identifying and creating emotional tone, which is why, in turn, they find small talk difficult.

To be honest, I haven't become able to sense "tone" myself until after years and years of scrutinizing social situations. Now that I have fully concious awareness of tone (as opposed to NTs who seem to not think about it), I strive to cultivate a positive tone within people by doing things like small talk. It's mainly fueled by me being a social perfectionist and by trying to make the best impression on people as possible. I try not to do this with others on the spectrum, though sometimes I will go into "social autopilot" and assume that they can read it, when often, they can't.

Although I enjoy positive emotional "tone" and I feel good when I am able to create and establish this with people...that's the only thing about small talk I like. The reason I hate it is due to its lack of substance and focus on commonalities between the two parties. I am a very unique person and it's generally difficult for me to think of things I have in common with people: and small talk is about establishing commonality. If the other person and I do have something in common (i.e. a mutual friend or interest), it is easy for me, but when I discover that a person likes different things or has different values or preferences, it becomes tough and I become very uncomfortable. I also become very uncomfortable around people who seem to thrive on small-talk and don't get past this stage easily. This is why I've learned to seek out people who I either have something in common with or who focus instead on things like humor instead of overly polite, idle, banal, chit-chat.

You have to use small talk in the "getting to know you" phase of every relationship. If I'm meeting someone for the first time, I need to know what they like to talk about before I start delving into a topic. That means you have to pick topics that you know the other person might know. The weather is a good starting point because everyone experiences it. News topics are also a good starting point as long as it's not political. If they're wearing a funny t-shirt you can start the conversation with that, or if you share a class with this person, you can start off talking about the professor or the last assignment. Think of small talk as a social warm-up. As you're conversing, you can start looking for opportunities to delve into a deeper topic. For example, my special interest is dogs, so if I hear the other person mention something about their dog, I'm going delve into that area. The key is to always let the other person broach the subject first. I've had an aspie just come up to me and start monologuing about hip-hop. He didn't even bother to consider that I might not care for that particular genre. That's how not to make friends.

My boyfriend is also an aspie, and we used small-talk to initiate our relationship. I admit it was awkward because it's not natural for either of us, but we would not be together if we didn't make the effort to learn. The nice thing is that now that we've known each other for a while, we don't have to rely so much on superficial conversation.

Wow, this is something, many times I go somewhere, and as they say "Hi can I help you?" I say "Hey, how are you doing today?" And they just stare at me... seconds tick by, and I'm like, should I repeat myself? Or ask again? Or just tell her to help me, with what I came for? Jeez, just trying to be friendly, and nice, and be interested in them, so I ask how they are doing, and they just stare at me impatiently, like... I don't have time for you, what do you want... lol It's so complicated!