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I can't get close to anyone.

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MjrMajorMajor
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25 Jan 2013, 9:56 pm

Yuugiri wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Maybe a part of it is a fear of self- expression? When I am extremely anxious I will journal privately, and then destroy the pages. Just putting some things down on paper can make me panicky, but I feel better afterwards and immediately destroying the pages assures that no one will judge...

That could be it. Reminds me of how I tend to hate my creations once I tell everyone about them. 0:

It's like, the very act of putting it out in the open and making them known cultivates an inordinate amount of disdain for them, regardless of how they are received. It could be that a similar mechanism is at work here.

...Or maybe I'm just inundated with an unhealthy level of "stranger danger" hype?


:? .I've been pondering this one to try to get my head around it. It almost seems like a distaste of showing vulnerability? If you get very firmly entrenched in the idea of complete self sufficiency, then stepping way from that can be internalized as being weak or a failure. If someone is expressing positive affection, etc and a feeling of disgust arises, I can' t help but think there is either an anger at wanting to respond in a "weak" manner, transferred to the instigator, or some self esteem issues ie if someone thinks you' 're a worthwhile person they are wrong and deluded. Just some thoughts...



Last edited by MjrMajorMajor on 26 Jan 2013, 5:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Zilphy
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25 Jan 2013, 9:56 pm

Journaling and destroying it afterwards is an excellent idea :)


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ShelbyGt500
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26 Jan 2013, 12:15 am

Some aspies have trouble with eye contact, while others have the "direct eye gaze." I've noticed those that are uncomfortable with eye contact also are very sensitive about their personal space. You comfortable with eye contact?



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26 Jan 2013, 5:13 am

I am same. When people become touchy-feely with me, I start to withdraw and that's why I can't form any close friendships. I am always formal with people, even with parents. When people start being too nice, it feels so artificial like in a drama movie. I don't believe people can be so sugary and be sincere at the same time. I just don't trust that. I am married and can only be "sugary" with my husband. Everyone else is off limits.
I'm soon to be 28, so don't be too hopeful about growing out of it...



Zilphy
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26 Jan 2013, 1:17 pm

I agree. You never outgrow it. You only develop coping techniques. I no longer completely freak out when my family wants a hug etc... I still don't like it. I can roll with a quick hug from Mom, husband or brothers. However, I refuse to hug coworkers. I will not be touched by a stranger, ever. I will physically move and dodge someone if an attempt is made. I don't care if it hurts their little feelings. Unwarranted, uninvited affection from anyone is disrespectful. I'll make an exception for a small child.


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