Facebook was ruining my self esteem

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That sounds swell but i've only joined this site like 3 days ago, not enough time to have made any particular friends. Hopefully in the future though, im def open to the concept

I know the feeling. I'm just glad it wasn't around when I was in highschool.

I've had the same experience with facebook. It was fun to start with but the more I went on there, the more it drained my confidence. It's pretty common and a lot of people I know have experienced the same thing. I think the trick is to avoid just reading other peoples updates and concentrate more on your own posts/messages etc. Its easier said than done though. I prefer twitter and find reading whats trending helps keep me up to date with whats going on in the world.

That is probably what everyone else is doing but in a more self absorbed way, their ego protects them. I don't have a huge number of "friends" and ignore most of what they post and only look at the jokes and funnies

IRL, most people put up a face and lie about how great their lives are, and they do that on facebook too. Ever been to a school reunion? Everyone is doing juuust fine and everything is sooo great.



If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

For me, the biggest issue I have with Facebook is not what other people are doing in their lives. I couldn't care less because I don't want their lives. I find their trivial posts to be self indulgent and attention seeking. So I don't worry that people are having some life that I will never have. To me, my life is more fulfilling than theirs. It's kind of the same thing as if someone had asked me, "Would you like to be another person?" I would not want to be another person.

What I don't like about Facebook is something I dislike about people in general: They either post a lot of negative or smartass posts/comments, or are constantly putting others down. There are a lot of "If you don't like me, then F you!! !" types of comments/memes and I hate that type of mentality. It's so disgusting and hypocritical. I'm tired of the negativity, selfishness, and rudeness. People should go out and better themselves if they have such low self esteem. People I considered to be very kind in RL have posted some things that completely changed my opinion of them. It's not like you are anonymous on FB, unless you have made up a fake persona, so it's not the they anonymity factor at play here. People are just rude. At least in RL I don't have to "hear" their stream of hateful and spiteful consciousness.

Maybe this is just how most people socialize. I wouldn't know - but I don't have to like it. I think I should bow out.

Lol, I am exactly the same.

I have a cousin that removed me from facebook, while keeping ALL other family contacts. She even kept my cousin on there whom she never even met. Crazy, right?
I really kept me going the first few days. I even cried about it.

I also get really insecure when I see my friendcount drops. A few days a former really good friend removed me, and today a friend of him who I hated removed me too. Even though I don't care about these people, it still hurts me.
Can anyone relate to that?

Just remember that facebook is not real life (well to sane people).

I think I'm going to start blogging instead.

I've logged onto facebook and saw things that shot me into a depression. Sometimes I can't stand seeing how someone else's life is "so good." But then I remember that everyone struggles, facebook can be a facade, and envy is pure poison for your soul. I forget that other people's brains are intricte too, maybe they read my posts and get envious, or could give three s**ts about my son. Sometimes I write stuff or post a pic and get some response, or a lot of responses. I learn to not take it personally if people don't respond or "like" my posts.

I loath it sometimes, and other times I love it, and most of the time I see its usefulness.

That's from an adults point of view though, most of my friend's posts are pretty benign. Not a lot of politics or fighting or racy comments or trolling....just a lot of pics of vacations, kids birthdays, and the sharing of various articles.....

It's superficial. I can't get on there and say "hey guys, I'm struggling, I need help...." I can't reveal the facade that life can be really really hard.

Facebook is a weird place.....

facebook is hooked up to my chat accounts, i am rarely on it,

I've had that experience before, but not with Facebook (I'm not currently on it) - it was a different site with a lot of social features. It actually happened to me again today, to a degree. It seems like more and more you don't even have to be on Facebook for it to happen. People are constantly flaunting their supposedly fabulous (or at least "normal") lives online. Depressing as f***, and it seems nearly inescapable.


I read an article (I don't remember where - CNN or something) about how the world seems to be increasingly becoming a place of social haves and have-nots (I guess that trend should fit nicely with its economic counterpart). Lonely or socially unfulfilled people often use the Internet as a substitute for real-world interaction, while socially active people use it to further increase the number of social opportunities they already have (which is not to say all their friends on Facebook are "real"). So, as seems to be the case in every other area of life, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

In the book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome Tony Attwood says something to the effect that he believes personal computers were originally developed back in the 70's or whenever by people with AS for people with AS. It's kind of ironic how information technology now seems to be helping to widen the gap between those who seem relatively happy with their personal/social lives and those who aren't. I'm sure many Aspies would say that, overall, computers have helped them broaden their lives (or have an income), but I think there can be a downside, too. And I guess the final irony is that I'm writing this on a computer and posting it to an online autism forum.

It's definitely a reminder of the deficiencies in your own life. Recently it was almost instant...went from happy to dark.....but it definitely feels better to be happy for other people. I tend to get down, and start focusing on all the negative things, pity partying it.......but if I can get the dial just right, see what's good, thats a good place to be.

to the OP:

WOW!! !! That just blew my mind, and I really feel sorry for missing out on the social activities with your family....

this makes me realize, what if my cousins doesn't invite me to their weddings or baby showers

I feel better now. I was very upset when I wrote it. I will not be reactivating my fb account because it affects me in a negative way but I am ok now. I will accept the fact that I am excluded from my family and focus on my imediate nuclear one(my two kids and husband)
Having aspergers does make me "awkard" to nt people I guess so maybe behaviors I didn't see as weird were strange to my cousins and they needed to be surrounded by popularity ad beauty lol. self centered hypocrites, I dont need them in my life.

Precisely