What do you find the hardest in communication?

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Finding something to talk about isn't tough. But, the tone-of-voice and body language thing is really hard for me.

This is as bad as I am with everyone but family. Really. I have no idea how people are able to come up with anything to say.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g64vZvVIx5s[/youtube]

^That hit close to home base.
All inane conversations I'm in are one sided, the other person talks while I struggle to find anything to say.

Wow that clip is perfect!

I used to struggle with both of those, but I think I've picked up on them over the years. Body language is still a little difficult, but I've been practicing as well as imitating and am more mindful of it. I used to feel out of place in my own body.

Finding things to talk about. If it's a subject i am interested in i could go on about it forever. But if it's about something else the conversation usually falls silent after a few minutes.

Today I just spent a 25 minute lunch with my peers in almost complete silence, I could not for the life of me think of appropriate comments to make

and as for subjects there's only so many times you can play the "weather" card, otherwise I kept thinking about stuff I knew nobody was interested in

it feels like I have to study and prepare conversations to go anywhere

not saying something awkward... that is probably my biggest shortfall. I do it every time and i feel as though it turns people off so much they don't want hang out with me

This is one of my biggest problems as well. I've been diagnosed with impulsive type ADHD in the past, so I do have issues about talking without thinking first. My interests tend to be kind of obsessive, but they change, so I tend to go on rants about stuff no one cares about. I also lack the ability to appropriately time sympathetic responses, and rituals like greetings.

As for the body language issues, I don't understand other people's social cues/body language, so I know that's a problem, but I'm 100% unaware of my own movements so I'm not really sure. I do know I stare too much at body parts though, because people think I'm attracted to them a lot, i.e. "I can just tell you were into me by the way you were looking at me" which is always a big surprise to me, lol. So I guess my body language is bad, but I'm not sure how much. I've thought about filming myself, but I'm not sure I actually want to know.

I also can't tell people apart very well, so that causes a lot of awkwardness. Plus I never follow up with social things like contacting people, so friendships just fizzle. Over the years I've developed these short term personas, like I can role play "Clueless, damsel in distress," or "Concerned but exhausted mother," or "Slacker, defiant, student," and so on. I have often repeated phrases and behaviors for these roles that can last about ten minutes before I run out of things to say. But it's very exhausting putting on these performances, but they help me get through things like having repairs done on my car, or surviving conversation while sitting in a waiting room. Sometimes I feel like I was born without a personality and I had to make a few up. None of them feel right of course, and so I don't use them unless pressured.

I'm not sure if that answered the question. I guess my response would be "other social issues," if that was listed. I'm probably more in the grey area between ADHD and Autism, so that may be the explanation for that.

Finding things to talk about. I sometimes find it a little difficult to talk because when I do, I freeze up a little before talking. Most times, however, I have no difficulty speaking or coming up with a subject.

This is probably a very simple question (or answer, I don't know).

I don't care wheather I'm doing body language, correct or otherwise. And I probably don't notice other peoples body language, so again, zero difficulty there. (I hope I don't need to explain that I don't care about the things I don't see. If it has no effect, it has zero difficulty).

It's the words that matter, and if they use words to explain themselves, then that is all I want and need.

Although I don't have trouble reading or using body language, but I do have trouble finding common ground with most people. My general interests tend to be very specific, so I don't talk about them because other people (from what I've observed) are usually uninterested in them. I usually just let the other person lead conversations and I chime in with comments and questions. That way, the other person ends up happy and I have a better sense of what the person likes to talk about.

{quote="mikie"} i totally can identify with how you feel & then ppl keep asking me why i'm so quiet & if i.m alright, which makes me feel more uncomfortable.