Keep feeling rejected, like I am doing something wrong

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Ironically I've learnt that people are less friendly toward me when I am too eager or clingy, than when I am backing away from their friendship. Yes, it's true.

I'm curious about the details of that experience.

I believe, it is classical. I´ve learned the same myself, - and later, I have seen, that I myself react absolutely the same to clingy people. It is too invasive.
By the way:
When you turn your back on an animal, (who isn´t hostile, that is), you demonstrate superiority/leader material, - and suddenly you are much more interesting.

i remember the same thing, there is this person i sort of hang out with who i ignored for a long time. t he would go out of his way to say hello to me but after I started wanting to hangout with him again he would always have a reason not to or he just wouldn't want to. For some reason he goes along with what other people want to do but he never goes out of his way to hangout with me. Im going to start ignoring him again and see what happens. i do realize it is a irony that I feel bad for people who ignore me but I go around and do the same thing to other people. Its hypocritical

OK. If you have been rejected, you will be careful not to engage again too soon. Imagine how he felt, so....
I am doing exactly the same to a neighbour, who have used me and tossed me on too many times. I was sort of releaved of not having to care anymore, but now she is trying to win me back. I am sooooo reluctant.

Last edited by Jensen on 10 Apr 2013, 2:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.

having said that, i have just realised i have experenced the same thing with a female workmate of mine. personally i dont care for having friends, i am happy in my job as a busdriver and i am married to a man i love and he understands me so what more do i want? ive never cared for having friends really, though sometimes it can make me feel lonely but not for too long as i am very independant-minded and can easily think for myself. but this woman likes me, she seems a little strange but i dont think shes on the autism spectrum, sometimes i think she might be adhd or have some other disorder, but i did hear she had a strange upbringing by a disturbed father. but anyway, she keeps on wanting to be my friend but sometimes she gets right on my nerves, shes sensed it before but doesnt care. she is in my face but i often back away, but the more i back away the more she wants to invite me to come out with her and go shopping or something. my husband likes me being friends with her so he encourages me to go out with her, so i sometimes do, though i dont feel right being out with a friend. it just feels weird to me.

I am wondering now.
All this have been deep issues for me most of my life, and not until now, - within these last years, have I got a certain distance.
I know, that I´ve been rather confused about how to approach people for closer friendships and have wondered when to hold back, and when to move forward. Not, that I´ve been shy or unpopular, but never the less....
Having been "in the dark" since late childhood about these things, and having been scolded for it many times, and lost friends, I thought, that something was seriosly wrong with my character.

Here I read it again, written by other adults who has exactly the same problems/insecurities, and make the same mistakes.
Are these simply basic human problems, and are people in here just more honest?
Or are they specificly aspie-related, - especially with regard to the concentration and persistance of them?
(I am still learning).