Doing things you don't like to spend time with others

Post Reply New Topic

I've just made a total mess of something. I was invited somewhere I wouldn't enjoy going, it was to a musical. I hate musical shows. I was asked to go by a few people when it was being organized and said no to everyone that asked me. I was amused that they were surprized when I said I didn't like the musical that people were taken aback. I was then offered a free ticket because someone pulled out and I refused that. I was met with surprise again.

I started to feel angry because I felt like I was being pressurized to do something I don't want to do.

After talking about this with a few people I have realized why people were really surprized.They were feeling like I was saying no to spending time with them as a friend.

Carp, I should h ave just taken that free ticket and suffered the awful noise and dancing and not made myself a social outcast.

I've learned that you're expected to do things you don't particularly enjoy to spend time with your friends.

Score: Autism 1 - social skills 0

Unfortunately, in order to get along with others, it requires compromise: or doing something you may not fully enjoy. However, you can always decline something like this without explicitly saying why. Saying "I don't like musicals (or whatever the activity)" is too blunt and may make whoever invited you feel uneasy. Giving a white lie in this scenario would be best, something like "I have plans that night - but would love to join you another time".