How do u cope with jealousy?

Post Reply New Topic

temple grandin is classic autistic though and not aspergan,to the outsider she might appear as an aspie in functioning now,but she was diagnosed as clasicaly autistic because her developmental history was severely affected by autism and as such cannot meet aspie criteria. the speech and language therapist of mine has been to seminars of temples and am actualy surprised at just how affected by autism she is in the reality compared to what we hear about her in the public eye.
am also classic autistic though in the severe range and lower functioning,and have never experienced jealousy,its a concept will never understand, have only ever felt its great for when things go right for other people or if they have things that make their life better,or for people who are rich etc.
its possibly a part of social rules as those of us with classic autism tend to be completely oblivious to these.

as for aspies who feel pride of their aspergers,its probably because they have strong beliefs in neurodiversity,there isnt anything wrong in feeling pride for something that has coloured entire life assuming theyre not the type who are attempting to remove disability from the autism spectrum because they think everyone has a personality difference and not a disability like them.

I don't always handle jealously very well.

I usually will cry, say nasty things to someone, sometimes throw a fit behind closed doors, other times I will openly contact someone and yell at them. (Even if I don't curse)

When I was a teenager, there was a girl who I used to hang out with who was not a real friend but I thought she was. When she started dating, I got pushed away and so I managed to call her up and leave immature messages on their answering machine.

I also had a crush on a guy in school for a while but he chose someone else over me. I remember going "All you do is spend time with that spoiled brat. It's everything for her well what about me?"

Then when my sister got her second boyfriend, I was upset because I had never had a chance for a boyfriend. She brought him over and was snugging on him right in front of me. So I managed to squeeze the name "Slut" into the scenario. I also took it out on my mom by calling her names too.

Two close friends of mine had gotten together the day after Christmas to meet as a mall a few years ago. Neither one of them called me because they figured that we would connect on another affair. Anyway I was so upset that I called up and yelled at one of my friends in tears. "I'm mad at you for shutting me out. Do you know how selfish it was to shut me out since you know the holidays are a hard time for me. Is that okay?"




So yeah I don't handle jealously very well and I am still trying to find better ways to cope by learning to be happy for others.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 27 Jul 2013, 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1. I remind myself that jealousy is a sin.

2. I remind myself that those I envy or am jealous of don't always have things so great.

Case in point. A guy who's good looking, had a successful career doing something I wanted to do but was denied the opportunity, popular, married to a beautiful wife and has 2 kids, and got to retire at 42...well, his wife has a chronic health condition and he had a heat attack not long after retiring (didn't die).

Not everyone who seems to have it better is actually better off.

My issue is that so many have the things I keep failing to attain because they don't have to deal with the issues I struggle with. I feel not so much "jealous" of what they have, but angry because I feel cheated out of something I should have had for myself.

One of the things that I am working on is realizing that I don't like it when someone else is jealous of me because it hurts to see the other person(s) in so much pain which is something that I just started working on.

This is even though I don't cope well with being jealous myself and I find it is better that I look at how others treat me and so I don't hurt others.

This thread is quite interesting because I have never really thought about being jealous about the way others find it easy to socialise but now that I do think about it I suppose I do get a bit jealous. But I think most of all I have a fear of being exposed and excluded. I tend to hang around with groups of people who are quite gregarious because they usually like me because I'm quieter.

I don't know whether that makes sense to anyone.