Signs that someone is losing interest in you

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Early warning sign that a friend may be losing interest in you.

1. The lapses between calls and visits seem to be growing progressively longer.

2. Their calls and visits with you seem to be growing progressively shorter.

3. They seem to want to be around you only when they need to "borrow" something.

4. You are "left out of the loop" for news of major events in their lives.

5. They seem reluctant to admit to others that you are their friend.

6. When they're with you, they seem to always talk about their other friends.

7. They don't seem to notice you in public.

8. They "accidentally" copy you on an email that contains some unflattering comments about you.

9. They "accidentally" forget to invite you to go with them on outings (ie, beach, movies, shopping, et cetera).

10. They "accidentally" forget important events in your life (ie, anniversary, birthday, wedding, et cetera).

How do you be interested in a person?
I've only ever been interested in things a person does, says or has.

Ouch!!

Yeah that is a double ouch. I have a few people in the past who did most of the above.

- A girl who I used to work with did some of the signs above.
1. Said that she was going to come to my things and could never make it because other things happened.
(Her grandmother was sick and she was upset and so they went for a drive, she could never call because she always left her phone at home.)

2. I heard from others that she hated me and never seemed to talk to me when they were around

3. She also denied that we were friends to everyone behind my back

As for the birthday part, I had managed to invite some kids from my neighborhood over for my 9th birthday one year. I got invited back to one. I went over to someone's house to play one day and she told me that she had a birthday party and said that she did not want me there. Then when her mother bumped into me it was, "Oh I am sorry sorry. We forgot to invite you to her party."

Others made excuses that said, "Well I could only invite three guests but I would have loved to have you."

Finally- When I asked why I was not invited to someone's 16th bash, it was "I have it at the last minute."

I have trouble telling it too, but more in the moment. Like if I'm having a conversation, I can't tell if someone isn't interested. But yeah, that list Fnord wrote is a good indicator. But sometimes, people do pull away because of something else. I would be completely upfront and ask if they want to be your friend. If they turn their head, pause, don't answer right away, look around a lot, make excuses, ignore the question, or say no, then I would say they are not your friend or are losing interest. Some of the people you mentioned sound awful, and downright mean. I don't get why people can't just say "Hey, I don't want to be friends anymore".

To answer the question, people don't often say that they want to be friends because they we live in a society that we need to be sensitive to other people and their feelings.

As to letting someone know that they don't want you around: What about a roommate who seems to make up a story that she is having a birthday party that you are not invited to because you are not at a certain age? Is that a hint or what is that?

if only there was no deception and total transparency.

There'd be chaos! We'd really have to develop thick skin. Or maybe people would genuinely become nicer, as their lies are used to make them seem.

after a few thousand years of largely failed civilization, it could not be any worse if suddenly the veils were removed.

Largely failed civilization? I'd still rather live now than in past times. Government & corporate transparency & honesty would help clean up the world to a large extent. For individuals, in relating to friends and sparing each others' feelings, we'd need a larger dose of understanding for telling & dealing with harsh truths.

Yes, there are. But you have to be extremely focused all the time to detect them, which for us aspies is so terribly hard to achieve. I've learnt to focus so much that I see the first signs. But I can't always focus so much, when I'm busy with other things in the conversation.

One of the signs is if they seem a little exasperated at something you just did or said. Eg someone who hates calling attention to themselves in public, may act a tiny bit annoyed at you if you accidentally make people look at the 2 of you. Then if it happens a 2nd time, they may not even show any signs but they'll start distancing.

Silence when you say or do a specific thing. I remember I once asked someone who was driving me and others home at dawn if she could make a detour to leave me at the door of my place because I was scared to walk the dark half block at that hour. Suddenly there was total silence in the car. Then I figured they'd never invite me to join them again - and that's indeed what happened.

I would say about such intolerantly cold-blooded folk, GOOD RIDDANCE. real friends would accommodate you.

Do you want to find out who your real friends are? Just tell them that you've been fired from your job and evicted from your home, and that you're looking for a place to stay until you can find work.

A real friend will take you in. The rest will forget that they even know you.

When someone looses interest in you- Have you ever noticed that they seem interested one minute and then just seem to turn off another minute?

Hmmmmm.......

Since I have posted this I learned unwritten rules when one loses their interest.

1. They often don't have time for you
2. They can make outrageous excuses
3. They aren't exited to see you
4. You are suddenly responsible for buying your own meals etc.
5. They spend more time on their electronic devices or talk on the phone to others
6. They don't call you when you need them the most but will often choose others over you
7. Avoid you by getting up and leaving the room
8. Get mad at you if you try to join in on a conversation with another person or a group of people.
9. They give you a very superficial "Hi" before moving on
10. Talk around not liking you rather they will say things like"Well so and so likes you," or will get really quiet.
11. They give you the gerbil whenever you call "Can you call me in the next 15 minutes? I'm doing my hair, washing dishes etc. "
12. They are never there when you need them like if you are going through a break up or a life changing event.