06 Jan 2014, 11:45 am
CoffeeBeans wrote:
If you're one of those who has major trouble empathising and just states the facts, please don't read this or post a reply. Everyone here has some degree of autism but certain people can be unsympathetic (and hurtful) because of their lack of empathy and that's the last thing I need right now.
I've just been ditched by my friends tonight and I'm heartbroken. A friend I've known since we were kids asked for my help to throw her birthday party last night, and I gave it, even though it meant hours of work on my part purely for her benefit. I went to the party and thought it was a great night - till the end. The 'after party' did not include me because a friend of the birthday girl doesn't like me. I asked the birthday girl outright what the score was, and she just said she didn't want any trouble. I said does that mean I'm not invited? She just basically said yeah, because so and so won't come if you do. I said to this other friend I was gobsmacked and she went to sympathise and then said sorry man, it's so and so's birthday - I've got to do what she wants. So I came home alone while everyone else went off to party. Just because this one girl doesn't like me. I didn't see that girl helping to throw the f***ing party?!?! If she's such a bestie, despite me having known the birthday girl for ten years longer, why didn't she help?!
I'm gutted. Truly gutted. I never want to speak to those girls again and we've been friends for years
I've just been ditched by my friends tonight and I'm heartbroken. A friend I've known since we were kids asked for my help to throw her birthday party last night, and I gave it, even though it meant hours of work on my part purely for her benefit. I went to the party and thought it was a great night - till the end. The 'after party' did not include me because a friend of the birthday girl doesn't like me. I asked the birthday girl outright what the score was, and she just said she didn't want any trouble. I said does that mean I'm not invited? She just basically said yeah, because so and so won't come if you do. I said to this other friend I was gobsmacked and she went to sympathise and then said sorry man, it's so and so's birthday - I've got to do what she wants. So I came home alone while everyone else went off to party. Just because this one girl doesn't like me. I didn't see that girl helping to throw the f***ing party?!?! If she's such a bestie, despite me having known the birthday girl for ten years longer, why didn't she help?!
I'm gutted. Truly gutted. I never want to speak to those girls again and we've been friends for years
Ouch! If I say so, this so-called best friend really isn't much of a friend if she is going to ask you for a big favor and then turn around and pull what she did on you. That was pretty mean and especially after everything that you did for her. I cannot stand situations like that myself. It also makes me wonder if she even interested in you anymore and hangs out because she is obligated.
You do yourself a favor and take some time for yourself to let out all your emotions and drink things like herbal tea, go to a movie, read a good book, pick a movie etc. Then when you have your thoughts together, I would get into touch with the friend who had the party. If you leave a voice mail, ask her "Hey bestie, can you call me back as soon as you get this message?"
If she responds, I would start out with how you had fun planning her party for her and that you enjoyed yourself. I would them say, "However, I have to ask. Are you interested in having me as a friend anymore"? Then let them answer. "It's just that I took time and effort putting together this party for you and then you just seemed to dump me in end for some other person. I almost feel like you used me etc.
07 Jan 2014, 2:48 pm
08 Jan 2014, 3:16 pm
08 Jan 2014, 6:27 pm
