which was easier for you socially: high school or college?

Page 2 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next


Well?
High school 19%  19%  [ 25 ]
College 57%  57%  [ 76 ]
Neither 25%  25%  [ 33 ]
Total votes : 134

ADoyle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2005
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 913
Location: Southern California, USA

04 Mar 2007, 2:50 pm

I had some friends in high school, but college was different as there was so many different interests. Especially in the junior and senior years of the university, the people in your classes are majoring in your same major, so you get to know them. That, and people who are in college actually want to be there because they're paying for it. If not, they can easily drop out without any major consequences legally for themselves or their parents. Teachers treat the students as the mature adults they are, and leave it up to the student to pass or fail.

High school is different because people have no choice in the matter. The administrators spent most of their time handling disciplinary issues, and guidance counselors didn't have time to really advise you on college, or financial aid. With the students, it's all about "fitting in" instead of about learning or what college you planned to attend after you graduated.


_________________
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei


Jamie06
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 666
Location: Crawley, West Sussex, UK

07 Mar 2007, 8:14 am

College for me.



ghostgurl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,328
Location: Orange County, CA

07 Mar 2007, 5:01 pm

I made like 2 friends when I was in highschool. Since I've started college I've made none.


_________________
Currently Reading: Survival by Juliet E. Czerneda
http://dazed-girl.livejournal.com/
Vote Kalister 2008


gobi
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 98

08 Mar 2007, 3:42 pm

High school was easier for me. I grew up in a small town so, while I was a bit of an outcast, there really wasn't any "out" available. Every embarrassing thing I did or anxiety I had was on display -- I could either embrace it or...well there really wasn't an alternative. I ended up forming relationships with other fringe-personalities. Heck, I had a steady girlfriend and a band.

The trick for me was that I had to have the confidence in myself (and the other-world I came from) to distort the social dynamic. NTs usually recognized that they weren't going to play on the normal field, if they chose to interact with me. Sometimes they didn't like it. Sometimes they did. Either way, I was extremely lucky. I grew up with a small group of kids who knew (and more or less accepted) that I wasn't normal. I was able to do what I wanted and interact at times of my choosing, despite the fact that in certain situations I felt like I was being ripped apart.

I went to college late, and really never connected to any of my classmates. I was older than them by seven or eight years, had seen the world, been divorced, etc. It takes time for NTs and Aspies alike to find value in other people -- NTs seem to have it easy because they can force the issue or fake it -- but my college life didn't seem to last long enough for either someone to take an interest in me, or for me to screw up the courage and form relationships.



daveybaby
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 74

23 Mar 2007, 11:11 am

College was so messed up for me it wasn't even funny. Meeting new people was so hard for me, and especially dealing with all the random SEX that seemed to be going on around every single corner. I guess people were a little more friendly, but I just couldn't get into it. At high school, I got used to the same people I would see every day and every year, so eventually, one group just got used to my oddities and accepted me. Not so in college, and all the guys were competing with eachother over girls so it was practically impossible to make any real friends.



SpectreWithin
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: in the shadow of our pale companion

23 Mar 2007, 9:59 pm

High school sucked for me socially. I was mostly a loner except for eating lunch with a few of the other misfits and outcasts. I didn't actually hang out with anyone outside of school or have any close friends.

It was only in college where I really started to be more social. Freshman year was hard - trying to adjust from my loner ways and having no clue how to make new friends. But slowly I got to know some cool people in my dorm and ended up living and hanging out with some of them throughout my four years at college. Living with roommates can definitely help since it almost forces you to be a little bit social at times. It has its drawbacks too (solitude is harder to find) - but for me it really helped me figure out more about social dynamics than I had ever known before. You get to meet your roommate's friends and so the social opportunities increase. I don't think I would have been nearly as social if I had lived alone or off-campus during college though - so "your mileage may vary" depending on your situation.

In any case I found college people to be so much more open-minded and intelligent than my high-school crowd. I went to an art-school so in general being weird or different was more common too.



roygerdodger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Jul 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,527
Location: High Point, North Carolina

23 Mar 2007, 10:15 pm

Middle school.



SpaceCase
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,621
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

23 Mar 2007, 10:32 pm

Okay,NOW I'm pretty much freaked out about going to college.


-SpaceCase


_________________
Live and let live.


rideforever
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 246
Location: Brighton, UK

26 Mar 2007, 2:35 pm

College was worst by a million times.

At High School everything was there ready for you, ready made friends, ready made activities, nothing too serious.

Going to College there was nothing. Not a single goddam thing. In order to find friends or do activities or do anything you would have to actually go out into the real world and say 'hi i'm bla bla bla, I'll try not to bore you or be bored' etc... etc...

And all these people running around thinking drinking is an activity, the only activity.

Just fraking hated it. In fact I still hate everything ! I want to go back to school where things are organised for you.



calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

26 Mar 2007, 2:46 pm

College - but I got incredibly lucky. I met a couple of guys at orientation, one of whom was a total social butterfly, but liked people who weren't. Later on, I managed to make friends with a couple more people like this. It was probably helpful (in terms of friends) going to a really large school, as the size ensured that there would be some people with similar tastes. I like the idea of remaining in a college situation (and it's why I went back to school) for this reason. Unfortunately, my tastes have mainly fallen so far out of the norm, that I can't really expect to find people who share them any longer.



RedMage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,812

27 Mar 2007, 8:41 pm

Neither. Primary school was easier for me socially. And we don't have a college here.



SamuraiSaxen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,465
Location: Mexico

27 Mar 2007, 10:24 pm

High school was hard for me, but I made a friend. Whitout counting my sister, she's my only friend. But our schedules in college separated us a little, sometimes I see her in my free time.

Now, in college, things are easier. People says I'm interesting instead of excentric and crazy. But I haven't made a friend in this almost 3 college years although I'm improving my social skills.



Inventor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,014
Location: New Orleans

27 Mar 2007, 11:08 pm

Why would want to make friends? High School is a zoo. College a bit better. Some people have to have friends, they adjust themselves to fit in. Take a good look first, see if you want to gather and keep those habits.

Freshmen do not have a clue, and play for position like high school. The burnout rate is high. Do not speak to them, lots do not make it past the first year. Get your credits and move on. Second year is better, a big weeding has helped. By third and forth year people go to class just to get this over with, get a degree they know is worthless, but the only thing more worthless is not having one.

Show up for class, then vanish. let the others screw up. Find a coffee shop to study in, and you might meet people who have a bit more depth than those who hang out at school.

Everyone ignores Freshmen. You can earn points by also doing so. In your second year you become an old soldier. Then people might talk to you. They spend several years staying out of trouble and waiting for their Parole Hearing. The closer they get to graduation the more it becomes their release date. Calenders have days Xed out. It is a lot like the Army.

You will compete with your graduating class for limited jobs, wear body armor. If you are a Business Major tell people you are in Fine Arts, they will think you must be rich and be nice to you.



RedMage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,812

27 Mar 2007, 11:54 pm

What is college exactly?



calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

28 Mar 2007, 1:02 am

It's an imaginary world that I live in.



cobweb
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 151
Location: Northern Virginia

28 Mar 2007, 5:27 pm

Neither. I had to be homebound through some of high school, and when I got to college I couldn't handle the people there either, so I had to come home after about two weeks.


_________________
Art: Skeleton Key Studio