How do go about being friends with someone with Asperger's?

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Hebe
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16 Feb 2015, 3:38 pm

The only reason why I asked him how he was feeling is because at times he has said that he wanted to commit suicide or he has threaten to do so. I've seen where he's said that he was lonely and depressed. I don't know if it was just a cry for attention or if I shouldn't even bother to take him seriously when he's said this.



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2015, 6:05 pm

I think you should take him seriously when he talks about serious stuff like suicide. It's obvious that he's depressed. Does he tell you why?

I would try to talk about what he's interested in. Part of why he is depressed, quite possibly, is because he feels isolated and detached from people because of what he's interested in.

I know, when I'm depressed, that I don't like to talk about what I'm depressed about. I prefer speaking about non-emotional/psychological types of things. I enjoy talking about early man and the weather. Psychological things irritate me.



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16 Feb 2015, 6:45 pm

Everyone's different so don't generalize this to all Aspies, but for him, maybe you talk about what it's like to be depressed very briefly if he's said he is, and you could ask if he's having a hard time or something.

"How do you feel?" is really old ended and can be anxiety provoking. Sounds like you would be the social glue in the relationship.

If you and he get close, what would will be like for you? Can he meet your needs for closeness and connection, or will you never be able to really depend on him when you need to because he doesn't deal with depression, can't talk about it in himself, and perhaps not in others, either. I think it's worth thinking about where you want to go together.



Hebe
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16 Feb 2015, 6:56 pm

I sent him a picture of me and he's asked me to send him another one. I think he might want to be involved with me if you know what I mean.



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2015, 8:01 pm

Based on your screen name, I'm sure you'll be a delight for him. Hebe means "youthful," I believe.



ominous
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16 Feb 2015, 8:20 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Based on your screen name, I'm sure you'll be a delight for him. Hebe means "youthful," I believe.


That theory doesn't bode well for me at all, does it? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:



kraftiekortie
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17 Feb 2015, 1:39 am

I happen to like youthful.



Hebe
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18 Feb 2015, 9:14 am

I think maybe it's best that I leave him alone for awhile thanks for all the advice I appreciate it.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2015, 9:17 am

Hi Hebe,

I'm sorry you feel this way. I hope he didn't insult you in any way.



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18 Feb 2015, 2:28 pm

ominous wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Based on your screen name, I'm sure you'll be a delight for him. Hebe means "youthful," I believe.


That theory doesn't bode well for me at all, does it? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


Me either!


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kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2015, 2:30 pm

Does this guy only like "serious" things?



Bomir
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18 Feb 2015, 7:53 pm

Be aware that he may express a level of care for you as a friend that to him will seem vitally important and obvious but it may be a form you've never considered before. I as an aspie point out when people say things that either come across as dumb or ignorant I correct them immediately or ask if they understand the words they just used. People become defensive and say I'm critical because they don't realize that I'm not thinking less of them, it's just I feel terribly embarrassed for them as in my mind their mistake was just a simple oversight. I say the correction and move on but they resent me for it because they don't understand to me is an expression of caring for them or watching out for them. I'm not saying your friend does this, I'm just saying try and keep your mind open for new ways to interpret his interactions with you.



ominous
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18 Feb 2015, 7:54 pm

smudge wrote:
ominous wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Based on your screen name, I'm sure you'll be a delight for him. Hebe means "youthful," I believe.


That theory doesn't bode well for me at all, does it? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


Me either!


:lmao:



Hebe
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19 Feb 2015, 11:09 am

It's like he wants nothing to do with me so I am going to give him what he wants and just leave him alone.



kraftiekortie
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20 Feb 2015, 6:18 pm

Ah man! That's so sad!

I hope you could rekindle the friendship.



Hebe
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20 Feb 2015, 6:53 pm

He called me again today saying that he was just calling to say hi and that he would call me again later. I don't get him I think maybe he just likes to play games with me.