nerdygirl
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
03 Apr 2015, 4:33 pm
League_Girl wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
Sometimes I question people close to me when some of the things they say don't add up to what they said before. I ask the questions to try to get more clarification because it makes me uneasy when things don't add up, but sometimes they just think I'm trying to argue or something instead. I guess in some cases it's just better not to ask any questions to avoid conflict and misunderstandings.
I do this too and some people don't like it when you do it. I guess they would rather have you assume they were lying because it didn't make sense but they wouldn't like that either.
In instances like these, I say, "I'm sorry, I don't understand." Then I ask my clarification questions. When I preface it like this, it puts all the problem on *me* and not on them.
It is better to communicate that I've assumed I've gotten something wrong than to make it look like I think the other person has gotten it all wrong. It also helps to communicate that I'm not trying to argue, just to understand. I might look like an idiot in the process, but at least I'll be a polite one.
03 Apr 2015, 11:05 pm
