What do you do when someone tries to "fix" you?

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Good luck with everything.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

It sounds like he's projecting on all his feelings about his mother and issues with her on to you, and that's really unfair. That's a huge burden for you to have to deal with. And as long as he is doing that, he's not going to be able to really see you or accept you for who you are.

I've had people try to fix me that way too, usually it turns out to be about someone from their past that they haven't worked things out with.

The thing is he does know it's not ok to do that. He says he's hurt his daughter in the same way. And yet he's not doing anything to overcome it. It seems like he's pushing me away because he doesn't want to hurt me. But putting a wall up like that is no way to live your life.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one. That helps it make more sense.

I used to have this happen a lot in school, but not so much in adulthood for some reason.

Anyway, I'll usually let it slide a few times, and people usually take the hint that I don't want that quality fixed, but on rare occassions, I'll break out the "I don't appreciate" script, e.g. "I don't appreciate you disparaging my sexual orientation" or "I don't appreciate you trying to change my personality. If you don't like me the way I am, you're not required to hang around me."

Yeah I was just thinking that. If he can't handle the ways that I'm different and he's not willing to try it's not really my problem.

No that is not your problem at all. In a friendship there needs to be some give and take. There might be some things that you might not care about a person but you have to accept the way they are and let the friendship grow.

Do forgive my ironic sense of humor, but aren't we all trying to fix eachother and our selves here at this forum?

Well for my sake it depends whether or not the person in question is giving me sound advice or not. Honestly I've often found it quite useful when people try to "fix" me. Sometime it has actually helped.

I have had several people think that I am broken

1. One of my sisters would often nag at me about this or that not being a toy even though I already knew that
2.A caregiver made me feel bad because I talked about my passion for cartoons and she thought it was weird for a 23 year old female to do those things.
3. A friend's mother used to talk down to me as if I were some little kid even though she didn't know me very well.

Oh I understand that we all want to do better and there's nothing wrong with helping each other. But I think there's a difference between telling someone you can do it, I have faith in you, versus you have to do better because I said so. Especially when the person doesn't know what he's talking about and no previous experience with AS. So it's not the goal that's the problem but the method.