Does anyone else feel like they make people uncomfortable

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Hypnotized
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04 Jun 2015, 3:03 am

Yes, especially at family gatherings. As I'm having a conversation with a family member, they seem to lose whatever interest they had and end up just replying "Yeah. Mhm." and they would just ignore me and talk to someone else. It's stressful, especially because I don't know what I've done wrong.



HighLlama
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07 Jun 2015, 12:56 pm

starkid wrote:
Yes, based on odd expressions on people's faces or them looking away from me immediately after I speak to them, like I didn't say what they expected and they have no idea what to do or just want to escape mentally if not physically.


I hate this. It feels so defeating.

When going out to eat does anyone here have the experience of the wait staff not making much eye contact with you? They will constantly look at and address my girlfriend, but rarely look me in the eye. I try to make eye contact, since I feel it's polite for this situation, but it's not usually reciprocated. I'm not sure if I make them uncomfortable or they think that, because I look young, I wouldn't be paying (which is still rude of them). I have trouble making consistent eye contact with them, so maybe that's part of it.



jonez23
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07 Jun 2015, 7:52 pm

Yes. All of the time. I'm not particularly shy but I can be a little intense and I have a hard time with eye contact. I also have a hard time being in public places. Shopping, eating in restaurants, etc. I always feel paranoid. I'm new here and I'm hoping to find some kind of answers or ideas on how to cope with these situations. :)



Zajie
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08 Jun 2015, 4:25 am

Nah I'm not a deadly carnivorous creature or a murderer swaying a knife near their faces so that they'd feel uncomfortable around me, I'm just another person like them



Densaugeo
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08 Jun 2015, 11:19 am

I'm a guy with long hair. You'd be surprised how many people are uncomfortable with that (and say so).



slw1990
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08 Jun 2015, 7:30 pm

I feel way pretty often because a lot of people talk very softly to me and seem unhappy or indifferent. I think part of it might be because sometimes I can be very soft spoken and monotone without realizing how bad it is so it makes people uncomfortable. Then I start feeling bad because it's my fault that they feel that way.

Some also avoid looking at me and and turn their heads away from me. There's also been a few that would cover their faces when I would walk by them like they think I'm going to bother them or something even though I wouldn't communicate with them unless I had to . It seems like some people do those things to deliberately make me feel alienated because I can't think of anything I would have possibly done that would make them so uncomfortable that they would try to hide their face from me. :?



autismthinker21
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08 Jun 2015, 7:34 pm

Densaugeo wrote:
I'm a guy with long hair. You'd be surprised how many people are uncomfortable with that (and say so).



what's wrong with long hair? unless you look terribly stupid with everyone around you?


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IanAntipathy
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08 Jun 2015, 7:40 pm

I was always the weirdo.
Can't change that.



Tori0326
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09 Jun 2015, 10:10 am

It seems to happen all the time. I don't know why.
I'll meet someone for the first time and everything is great and we have a nice conversation.
The next time I see them, or shortly after that, they're stand-offish or avoid me completely.

Like when I was going to college, I'd meet someone new in one of my classes and I'd think I made a new friend. Maybe they'd save me a seat the next class, but then by about the 3rd or 4th class I start picking up a weird vibe that they aren't comfortable around me. They usually start sitting somewhere else and avoid interacting with me. This type of things has also happened at work, in public settings, in social settings, wherever.

If it was a one time thing I'd blow it off but it seems to be a pattern. I've gotten to be very aware of what I say to people over the years and am careful with my words, so I can only guess something is off in my body language that I'm completely unaware of.

My latest strategy is to just avoid the person if I start to sense they're uncomfortable around me. Previously, I might try to "fix" things by attempting to engage them again in friendly conversation or "clear the air" with something more direct, but that usually has been awkward and hasn't always gone so well.



dougknowles
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12 Jun 2015, 12:11 pm

In response to the analogy of the individual arriving from France, my experience in my own social environment has not left me feeling that I belong to any well-defined or legitimate group.This would be mostly because I have never made an effort to associate with people similar to myself. The French person has her or his birth culture in which to take comfort when things go awry in a new context. But I have not found or created or immersed myself in groups that validate me. So it seems inevitable that I would feel awkward and out of place. Thank you for stimulating this consideration.