Does anyone feel this way about eye contact?

Post Reply New Topic

I have to do my usual disclaimer of I don't even know if I have AS, so I have no idea if this is an AS thing, or if everyone does it, or what, but...

I think I'm better than I used to be with eye contact, because I consciously think about what I should be doing, where I should be looking. I think it used to be really hard for me, but I kind of forced myself too.

If I'm in a long conversation it feels really weird, like I try to have eye contact, but I'm not sure how MUCH eye contact I'm supposed to have. I'll start feeling like they'll think I'm staring at them (plus it's still somewhat uncomfortable). So I kind of alternate between looking directly in their eyes, usually briefly, then more trying not to focus but still make it look like I'm looking at them. Then sometimes I'll like look down at a desk or something for a while. I try to make it look like it probably seems normal-I hope. I get REALLY conscious that I'm doing all that, trying to mix it up during long conversations, and I hope the other person doesn't think it's weird.

I don't know how to end conversations really either, so that's fun if the other person doesn't end it I try to kind of wrap up what we were talking about (a summary! ) when I think we're kind of done, but that doesn't always work right (I'm often thankful for interruptions!)

I'm also really self conscious about not looking like I'm looking at a woman's breasts-try to keep the eyes up especially with women, so they don't think I'm doing that. There have been times where afterwards I'm scared they thought I was, and I almost want to tell them I wasn't

Making eye contact scares me really badly, with the exception of people I really love and trust.

It creeps me out. I rarely do it. Probably another reason people think I am a freak. Trouble with that is that they are right.

I can't make eye contact because it feels overwhelming to do so. It's almost like how an ant would feel when being burned with a magnifying glass. I also can't talk, listen and look the person in the eye at the same time. My mind would go blank, I would start to stutter, ect. I have been able to look people in the eye for a few seconds, but I have to look away after that because I start feeling overwhelmed.

My eyes wander around instead on focus on their eyes or mouth.

In general, I can manage eye contact, but there are times when I have to break it off, just for a little bit of respite.

I don't like looking people in the eyes-it makes me feel uneasy-it's always been that way...
I get nervious and stuff

I've really been working on this issue, since I found out that I'm probably an Aspie. I force myself to look people in the eye most of the time they're talking to me now, but I feel very strange. I'm wondering how much is too much. It seems to me that people are looking at me like I'm making them uncomfortable with all the eye contact, but maybe I'm wrong. I do try to nod my head, smile, etc. to keep from looking like I'm just staring at them. I wish I knew exactly what they expect from me, so I don't end up crossing the line of too much eye contact. Is there such a thing as too much??? I think I probably still do the shifty eye thing, when I feel like I've had too much contact. I start to look around a little, but try to come right back to their eyes. I really wish an NT could enlighten us on this issue.

I don't look at people when I talk to them, unless I know them well.

Eye contact with strangers really gets to me. I'll see a cute chick at the counter and I tell myself 'just do it'... it feels so, well ya, aggressive. I'm much more comfortable with close friends but even then I'll become more focused on trying to keep eye contact and I miss what they're saying. If I could get up and pace around the room I bet I would understand everything a little more clearer but that would be really rude.

I've never really had much problem with eye contact, though that could be from being deliberaly taught to stare into someone's eyes at a young age. It also helps when you have a god-complex and believe everyone else is inferior.. you don't have to care about what they may think. In fact, I'd say I have better social abilities than most regular people.. or at least in basic conversation. However, I'm prone to wording things bad, unintentionally offending people, and generally being an opinionated jerk unable to hold back at someone. I can ussually read a person, but I still don't emotionally understand them. I never know if I'm going to do something wrong or not. Does anyone else argue.. a lot? I enjoy it because you're able to throw all the expected norm in a regular social interraction out the window. It's just two people each presenting their opinion. You *know* what the other person is feeling at that point. Plus, it's fun to tear apart someone's theory or belief in a calm manner.. it's like a people puzzle. =)