Poll on Eye Contact

Post Reply New Topic

I'm hard line on this issue - I refuse to make eye contact. But it has NOTHING to do with "fear."

PS : just when I think this issue is moot someone brings it up again - I was at a group recently where someone who was a recovering drug addict said something along the lines of "I was finally able to look people in the eye again," about her recovery from addiction. I really don't understand why this is still so black and white in multicultural western countries. From her comment, a lack of eye contact still indicated shame, an inferiority complex or fear. Good eye contact indicated self-worth, strength and honesty. It's SO idiotic - don't people even realise there are a load of other possibilities out there, ranging from autistics to native peoples to alternate cultural norms???

What blows me away is the number of NT's that still believe those who refrain from eye contact are all liars or crooks.

I am terrible with it, I can't even make eye contact with people in youtube videos. There is one person who I can make eye contact with. I noticed it happening automatically and was weirded out by it, but intrigued because I wasn't getting uncomfortable. I've wondered if it's significant in someway.

I look people in the eye some of the time, because I know that it is expected but don't feel comfortable that i'm doing it "right"...

I've always struggled with eye contact. I was yelled at by adults when I was a child for "not listening" because I wouldn't even look at faces then. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!!" - That phrase infuriated me because I WAS looking at them... Their shoulder, or their knee, or shoes... Some part of them, anyway.. I wasn't looking at the face/eyes, which was apparently the most important part.

Now, as an adult (42), I do make an effort to make eye contact, but it is brief and uncomfortable at best.

Edit: I forgot to add that recently, I practiced simulating eye contact by looking at eyebrows, bridge of nose, etc. I found it much more doable than looking at eyes, but still fairly uncomfortable. My daughter, with whom I have no trouble making eye contact, told me that she couldn't tell the difference...

I look most people in the eyes. Though eye contact was something I had to learn, it didn't come naturally.

I taught myself to make eye contact. It is fun to see how people react to a smile. Some look away, others smile back. But, prolonged eye contact is trouble. I tend to look past people in social situations.

In photographs, I am always looking away. I try harder now to look at the camera. Another social rule that must be followed. Don't ruin the photograph.

It's easy for me. Perhaps because my stepdad required me to look him in the eyes while he spoke. Nature vs. Nurture, am I right, guys?

Occasionally I'll accidentally make contact with someones eyes, but the vast majority of the time I wont look anyone in the eyes.

If I look at people, they think I'm weird.

I kind of make a point to look some people in the eyes at times. It seems kind of pointless to me though because I can't focus on what they're saying while I'm looking at them. I read in a book by Temple Grandin that some people with Autism have a hard time looking and listening at the same time. This is an issue for me. I know NT's expect eye contact and maturity has made me at least attempt it. I enjoy talking to people who know I have AS and don't expect it. I hate being told to look someone in the eyes. I'm not a child lol.

I can look at people's eyes if they are looking in a different direction. I find direct eye contact intense and somewhat painful. Also, if I look at someone's face while speaking, or if they are speaking to me, I can't understand half of what they are saying. If I'm speaking and focus on making eye contact, I lose my train of thought. I can look at someone from time to time to see their reaction, and looking at people I know well takes less effort. I still tend to look away though.

i have a tendency to stare at people, so too much eye contact.