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Anyone else only have online friends?

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auntblabby
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18 Mar 2016, 6:27 pm

^^^^welcome to wrong planet! :alien:



redbrick1
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19 Mar 2016, 8:10 pm

I used to have friends until I got married and have kids. I now do not want to really socialize outside of the family. I joined wp to reach out to more people. Not really working out. Can be depressing sometimes.



auntblabby
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19 Mar 2016, 11:28 pm

redbrick1 wrote:
I used to have friends until I got married and have kids. I now do not want to really socialize outside of the family. I joined wp to reach out to more people. Not really working out. Can be depressing sometimes.

can you tell me more about why it "can be depressing sometimes"? does it have something to do with the paucity of other married with children people here?



lostxprophit
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20 Mar 2016, 1:38 am

Yea pretty much; I still talk to a few people I went to High School with and that's about it. I did try befriending my Classmates over the years in Middle School and High School to no avail ;-;


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redbrick1
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20 Mar 2016, 12:34 pm

can you tell me more about why it "can be depressing sometimes"? does it have something to do with the paucity of other married with children people here?

Actually...no. I was assuming that most people here would be unmarried. Having kids takes a lot of social capital, and I tend to want to be alone most times and when I am not caring for them.
Depressing because when I was single I had one friend or two. I was able to talk to them. Now although I want to have social relationships I am finding it hard to want to reciprocate conversation.
And here lies the paradox of my situation: I want to have friends but not willing to do the leg work needed to create and maintain relationships.
Thus going on line affords the flexibility that I want to pick and choose who and when to communicate.
But it appears most people here are likeeping me: they communicate when there is a need for them to communicate.
I think that answershould the question.



auntblabby
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20 Mar 2016, 2:07 pm

redbrick1 wrote:
can you tell me more about why it "can be depressing sometimes"? does it have something to do with the paucity of other married with children people here?

Actually...no. I was assuming that most people here would be unmarried. Having kids takes a lot of social capital, and I tend to want to be alone most times and when I am not caring for them.
Depressing because when I was single I had one friend or two. I was able to talk to them. Now although I want to have social relationships I am finding it hard to want to reciprocate conversation.
And here lies the paradox of my situation: I want to have friends but not willing to do the leg work needed to create and maintain relationships.
Thus going on line affords the flexibility that I want to pick and choose who and when to communicate.
But it appears most people here are likeeping me: they communicate when there is a need for them to communicate.
I think that answershould the question.

hmmmmm.... I guess i'm an outlier in this respect, in that I see friendship as a matter of will. I communicate with people as long as they are willing to communicate with me. but I won't bother them if they don't wish to communicate. I have had years-long email correspondences.



redbrick1
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20 Mar 2016, 2:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:
hmmmmm.... I guess i'm an outlier in this respect, in that I see friendship as a matter of will. I communicate with people as long as they are willing to communicate with me. but I won't bother them if they don't wish to communicate. I have had years-long email correspondences.


I am sure the decision to communicate might be more involved than that. Take a subject you would care less about, for me that would be sports, and the email will be short. I assume the email correspondences have to have a subject of interest to both of you, otherwise why communicate?
Maybe I am the outlier, where for others the interest is the relationship itself and what is communicated is not as important. Maybe the same applies to your email correspondences?



auntblabby
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20 Mar 2016, 2:36 pm

redbrick1 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
hmmmmm.... I guess i'm an outlier in this respect, in that I see friendship as a matter of will. I communicate with people as long as they are willing to communicate with me. but I won't bother them if they don't wish to communicate. I have had years-long email correspondences.


I am sure the decision to communicate might be more involved than that. Take a subject you would care less about, for me that would be sports, and the email will be short. I assume the email correspondences have to have a subject of interest to both of you, otherwise why communicate?
Maybe I am the outlier, where for others the interest is the relationship itself and what is communicated is not as important. Maybe the same applies to your email correspondences?

I never talk sports with anybody due to lack of sports genes. but I talk about many other things, some a trifle esoteric. but yes, the relationship is mainly the thing, the chat subjects are merely the vehicles for such.



i_wanna_blue
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20 Mar 2016, 2:39 pm

Guilty. The number of friends has changed over the years but at any given time I don't think it's been more than a handful. Like all friendships though, there's a shelf life, and even the one's that start off well usually end in silence. I guess all one can do is try to replace the one lost with another one.



Starfoxx
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20 Mar 2016, 3:43 pm

Tbh I feel really lucky to have been born in the information age with the Internet and such. I think it's more acceptable to have online friends now. People are also more accepting of each other than the past.