What are some of the cruelest acts you've seen in a church?

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My teen was marginalized in a Catholic Teen Group but more because he is biracial. The Aspergers may not have been an issue at all being that most kids in this group seem to be rather aspergian.

Our childhood church had three "leaders". Two of the leaders pushed the third out in a way that let's just say was very un Christian and berated the poor old man in front of everyone. He quit soon afterwards. I saw at a young age how power hungry even supposed men of God are. I also remember a minister telling the congregation to "SHUT UP" in a voice so angry it could have been the Devil himself.

This didn't occur in a "church" per se. A storefront is a more apt description.

During a religious ceremony, goats were sacrificed. I didn't see it actually happen, though.

I find that to be pretty cruel.

I don't go to church, my family has never been very religious, and I've only been to church a few times to see a wedding or a baby's christening. I guess whether or not those things are cruel depends on how cynical you are.

Some of these are pretty bad, but in some of the situations, I think it just drives home what it's like to be misunderstood or to unintentionally make others uncomfortable - well, not *make* them uncomfortable, but what it's like when they are uncomfortable around us because we are different and don't know how to handle that maturely. Basically, it reminds me how much that social factor matters when trying to be included in a group rather than rejected/ostracized. That stays the same in the churches as in other places because the church is also populated with NT humans, as in other places - those NT dynamics are what are expected and familiar, but maybe those churches need some training/speakers to grow in understanding.

I'm very blessed to have the total opposite experience - at the church where I was baptized and at my current church, there are a lot of special needs kids, including those on the spectrum, so the parents are familiar with issues that may come up, and parish is used to the disruptions or downright strange and unexpected things that happen with kids period, NT or autistic. It helps that it's an environment where people are reverent, but in motion - people come and go, kids move around pretty freely except for certain times in the service, and hearing babies or toddlers crying, or older kids sometimes acting out - none of that is unusual. I think the adults have a sense of humor about it, as well as patience. If someone needs to take their kid out, or they themselves need to take a break, they can just step out - there is a separate quiet area where you can just watch/listen to the service on a screen. There's no stigma for kids or adults with issues, but then, we are all a pretty quirky bunch, there's no walking on egg shells to begin with.

Well it does show how close minded they were because why would you kick someone out of the church for a reason like that o_O Typical white church honestly ... but I guess either way you look at it church is church.

I had a close childhood friend who used to attend a church with her family for years where they were seemed to be pretty well respected. She ended up sleeping around with with lots of guys when she hit her teens and had a child out of wedlock. Evidently they were so mad at her for having him that they would accept him.

I have a story now....before they came to my church, a family I knew went to a different church where the members believed that their special needs child was in need of deliverance, and that what was lacking was prayer. So they would gather around this boy, lay hands on him, and pray for his issues to go away. It never worked, and the boy one time actually began frothing and foaming at the mouth during one of these events. When they came to my church, the boy asked if they could keep coming here. His family asked why, and he just said, "Because they aren't trying to 'fix' me."

Did they keep coming to your church?

SocofAutism,

Yes, they never went back. They were already looking to leave by that point, because they woke up to all kinds of spiritual abuse going on in their previous church. It's wonderful that they came, because I feel like after one or a few special needs come into a parish, then all of the other families with special needs kids feel more comfortable when they visit. I remember one lady who actually started coming to our parish because she knew her autistic son wouldn't be causing a "problem" - it made *her* feel better, because the parents can often feel embarrassed or guilty if the others look annoyed. Then another lady with boisterous NT kids start coming, because she felt her kids would also cause less of a "problem" at our parish.

Sooo, my last adventure in church I was sitting next to this lady who had a child(my mom and I) and I was talking to her at the end of service about a thing since I've seen her around here and there. This other lady comes out the blue, steps right over me and doesn't get out of the way. I don't think she even acknowledged me or said hi or anything. The lady I was talking to had a small child and I didn't want to "assult" someone in church by pushing them to the ground or something so I just hopped over the seat which was really annoying <,< And that's in the church I currently attend now.

Dunno if your pal was home schooled or not but if so, there's your answer. Many of these church people home school their kids because they don't want the public school system to "pollute" their minds. Granted that's a fine sentiment and all but when they get out there and don't know how to handle the world then what are you gonna do? That woulda sucked all kinda things for me because then I woulda been sheltered as all heck AND on the spectrum. At that point my own "destiny" would be better off institutionalized ... But getting to the point I knew a girl of a similar situation as well. Her parents actually kicked her out when she got pregnant but here's how messed up THEY are because the guy she was dating was paying them to live in an apartment type situation at their house. Its like "REALLY you get mad at the girl for screwing him and you basically set it up in a perfect setting for them to be bumping it every night." The little brother was like a pervert because he said they'd be doing it in the shower and stuff almost like he was watching or some crap o_O the funny thing about it too was that her dad was especially pissed off out of everyone and yet he chose money over his daughters chastity, what a joke.

I forgot to mention that I used to attend another congregation where they shunned and bullied me.

1.They turned their music up because I was praying too loud during praise and worship yet it was okay for another woman to shout at the top of her lungs.

2. I had signed up for several things so I could get involved and I never got any e-mails or phone

3. A couple of women had children with Aspergers and they know that I had it as well but they never took any interest in me and nor did they help me become more well-rounded. Rather they snubbed me. -Example: A few years ago one of them threw a party for their spouse for was turning 50 and I only found out about it through attending a women's fellowship. When they were talking about it I jokingly said: "I am out of the loop so I don't anything about that."
That woman said: "Well I was going to give you your invitation but my husband kept following me around. You are always welcome to come. All you need to do is reach out and find out what's happening." She also accused me of being lonely which I was not.

4. I was banned from their online chatroom for calling someone out a few times for their views which were very ignorant. Why they even made comments about people with Asperger's and how that we are all like Adam Lanza. The second time was over them claiming that Walt Disney was anti-semitic. I said "This person is getting on my nerves," which the minister's wife accused me of saying that about her which I was not. I got an e-mail from her the next day "You are welcome to watch our services online but we are going to have to ask you to refrain from using the chatroom."