How do you "act" around people in work situations?

Post Reply New Topic

A common problem for aspies is "raising the bar." If your work is too good bullies will try to get rid of you. This may involve either doing what you feel is right rather than company/accepted practice, or relenting to excessive customer demands. For instance, if you immediately attend to patients' calls when everyone else takes 15 minutes, that is an example of raising the bar.

The lack of empathy can be an advantage in some work situations if you can handle customers who try to use empathy to get unreasonable requests that can't be done. By wasting your time with these people you not only avoid overproductivity, but you may gain allies with other co-workers who may side with you rather than the bully.

Thanks for the responses all. I've read all of them. It's difficult to reply to everything on my iPhone.

Simple--you need to spend more time observing your co-workers. See what they do.
The problem is that what your bosses say and what you are suppose to do are actually two different things.

For instance, the most common lie is that the customer comes first.

Ridiculous. You come first. Then your fellow employees, because you have to deal with them every day.
Customers come in third, if that.

You don't really have to socialize. But you do have to avoid making things hard for everyone else. Whether this is out of malice or ignorance doesn't matter to them. This is what they really mean by being a "team player"--you do your part to make the team more productive. Someone who is really chatty but doesn't get any work done isn't a team player.

I see what you're saying. I have been trying for years. I say please and thank you and everything. It doesn't matter how much ass I kiss. It doesn't matter what I do. I've tried to focus on co workers and it was absolutely draining and it didn't work.

Dude, I don't know what's going on. I'm terrified of going to work tomorrow. I'm just going to belittle myself in front of others. Forget eye contact. This is too much. I'm a stupid freak. If it becomes too overwhelming I'll just hurt myself at work in front of everyone. Thanks all.

You don't want to copy your co-workers. You want to know what they can get away with doing as the minimum standard of work. Don't try compensate for your lack of social skills by doing more work than necessary. Forget about the ass kissing--that is only useful for getting ahead. Right now you just want to stay in place at your job.

I went back to work and have completely given up on the social thing. I don't attempt to make eye contact if I don't want to, I don't pretend or try to converse with others or laugh at jokes, and I don't even try to control my stims. I bounce my leg, flick my pen, and do whatever makes me comfortable. Quite a few co workers have asked me if I'm okay. I'm no longer going to try at this social thing. f**k it. f**k trying to appear normal. It doesn't work for me.