Bothered by a casual friend's behaviors

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Sorry this turned out as it has, but it's his loss far more than yours.

I found it very disturbing that he would talk to you, apparently at some length, about a club that seemed to provide some good social opportunities for you, then text you that participation was restricted in ways that disqualified you. Surely he knew that all along; that, to me, made him look like the kind of person who will offer a hungry pet a treat, then snatch it away at the last minute, and call his behavior funny.

Definitely no loss to you.

He also had the nerve to call me "Weird" though he is on the spectrum himself that day.

Anyway, the first time I confronted him, I just sent him some resources on autism and asperger's by telling him that I think he has low self-esteem and if you need some tips start here and he ignored that emails.

I finally did confront him and he ignored and didn't apologize.

The single biggest red flag, in my experience, is when a person is absolutely unable to ever admit that they are wrong about anything, or have done something hurtful. When they can't simply say "I was wrong and I apologize". People who can't do that are dangerous, and sooner or later they're going to hurt you. Usually sooner.

I saw him on Friday with a whole group of his co-workers and they honestly all look like drama and I am pretty sure he has been talking trash about me to them. When I got on the elevator, he and a while group turned the opposite direction so they would not look at me. Then I opened myself to say something, they were laughing at me and didn't seem to take me seriously.

Sounds like another clique to me. Can you avoid these folks? Take the stairs? I don't mean that you need to run and hide, just that life is nicer without a side of bozos everywhere you go.

edit in: mental image you can use to fortify yourself : PS these guys in the pic are probably wonderful human beings, but the bozo theme was irresistable

Actually I really don't see them that often it was only on Friday that I saw him and his little dining entourage in the elevator. I saw him once three weeks ago eating lunch in the dining hall with his co-workers where he put his plate on the conveyer belt and he was avoiding me.

I have yet another update, we briefly saw each other today getting on different elevators and I did what I could to avoid him during lunch time by taking the stairs so I would not see him.

All the while, he finally did reply to an email I had sent him a month ago about how he wasn't really respecting me as a person. He apologized and acknowledged that he wasn't nice to me. He said that as a result, he didn't want to maintain a friendship with me because he felt we were not compatible. Rather, he said it's better for us to be civil to each other.

I responded and told him that I agree that we are not compatible and realized that when he tried to ruin my special event with little barbs. I said that I realized that is simply not worthy of trust and that he doesn't really have anything that I want. Rather he seemed to offer a very toxic and destructive relationship where he not only did not appreciate me but my feelings as well. Finally, I admitted to feeling that he a little too immature for me.

It makes me mad that it took him 4 months to apologize to me and tell me the truth because he could have invited me somewhere to talk since we work in the same building.