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ladyelaine
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31 Jul 2018, 6:01 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
My last minister was pretty weird but he wasn't the minister when I started. Rather, it was this other man who was not only very accepting and down to earth but he was also an all-out nerd and I was just getting to know him. Then he stepped down and this other elder took over for him and I thought he was cool at first. Then I learned that
1. We had different ideas about the bible
2. He had goofy ideas about how people who go there should "Fit into a mold."
He was incredibly phony and at times mean to the point that he would make me cry.

I left my congregation too because he wanted me to jump through their hoops just to join the music team by socializing more and not asking him if I can join in front of the entire congregation.


That pastor is an a**hole. I'm glad you walked away from that church.



ladyelaine
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31 Jul 2018, 6:04 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
If the goal of attending church is to increase spirituality, I’d suggest not going to church at all. I’d explore meditation, being in nature, and yoga. Churches are religious but not particularly spiritual in my experience.


I love receiving the Eucharist and I enjoy my priest's homilies. My idea of being in nature is cuddling all my cats.



AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Jul 2018, 6:07 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Good for you!

I've always hated those small-minded religious social clubs, where the unwritten rule goes something like "We will not allow you to become one of us unless you are already one of us".


I hate how cliquish smaller churches can be.


I concur! During my years as an usher at my old Catholic parish, it felt like high school all over again! :x


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AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Jul 2018, 6:10 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
My last minister was pretty weird but he wasn't the minister when I started. Rather, it was this other man who was not only very accepting and down to earth but he was also an all-out nerd and I was just getting to know him. Then he stepped down and this other elder took over for him and I thought he was cool at first. Then I learned that
1. We had different ideas about the bible
2. He had goofy ideas about how people who go there should "Fit into a mold."
He was incredibly phony and at times mean to the point that he would make me cry.

I left my congregation too because he wanted me to jump through their hoops just to join the music team by socializing more and not asking him if I can join in front of the entire congregation.


That pastor is an as*hole. I'm glad you walked away from that church.


I concur! Did any of the members of that church behave the same way towards you?


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AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Jul 2018, 6:30 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
ladyelaine wrote:
My family and I finally walked away from the church we were attending. We are going to the church that is closer to our house. We walked away because we didn't feel wanted and we never got beyond the acquaintance stage with anyone there. People were rude to us when my dad was employed and when I was in the hospital. There was no support for my dad's employment ministry. He tried to keep the ministry going but nobody was coming to any of the meetings whether it was to look for work or help people look for work. The church that is closer to my house a little bit better because it is a larger church and the pastor makes more of an effort to be a pastor to everyone in the parish and not just the popular people. The pastor is very conservative and traditional. He doesn't sugar coat anything and tells it like it is.


You made the right decision because people who are religious often take themselves way too seriously on grounds of their faith, which in my opinion creates a sense of immaturity in such people. I myself am Catholic and last year I ditched my former parish (that I was a member of since I was about 8 years old) because many people saw me and my family as a threat to the parish. I served as an usher for several years and was often looked down upon as if I had no place and many members wanted me out altogether on grounds of me being on the spectrum.

As for my new Catholic parish, it's been a wonderful experience so far. The priest is very "by-the-book" and has a great ability to get a good laugh out of the congregation. I've been serving as a Eucharistic Minister for several months and an elderly woman has been making sure I have a place in the parish alongside fellow members to whom I plan on pitching ideas for parish events such as (but not limited to):

-Karaoke Night

-Open Mic Night

-Silent Disco Night

-Dance & Dinner Night

The irony is that since I left my former Catholic parish, some members (including the priest) have been speculating as to why they have not seen me since I left.


My dad and I were Eucharistic ministers at the parish we left. We didn't feel appreciated or wanted by the other Eucharistic ministers. They pretty much always ignored us at church. People were even nastier when my dad was unemployed and after my hospital stay. The pastor was only interested in the popular people. I think he liked having his little collection of groupies kissing his ass.

I think everybody is glad we are gone. They never checked in on us when we weren't at church.


Several years ago, my family and I were going through a crisis that lasted for about two years. People at our church became nasty, judgmental, and spread rumors about us non-stop. Even the priest wasn't much of a help. He believed that my family brought the crisis on ourselves and that we deserved to be judged by fellow members of our parish.

As for you thinking that people from your old church being glad that you left, try being more open with people alongside your family at your new parish.


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HistoryGal
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31 Jul 2018, 6:37 pm

From what I see, Elaine was a very open person. Small churches on hills syndrome. They are closed off.

She should find a variety of people at her new place.



ladyelaine
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31 Jul 2018, 6:53 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
ladyelaine wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Good for you!

I've always hated those small-minded religious social clubs, where the unwritten rule goes something like "We will not allow you to become one of us unless you are already one of us".


I hate how cliquish smaller churches can be.



I concur! During my years as an usher at my old Catholic parish, it felt like high school all over again! :x


That's exactly how it felt for me too.



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31 Jul 2018, 9:11 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
It's hard for me to find a pastor I like too. Most of the pastors I had (Catholic or protestant) have sucked and were very full of themselves.

I've seen pastors who are just kind of...I'm not really sure how to explain it. They just seem kind of like in movies, when there's the stereotypical "nutty" Christians. But maybe I'm just not used to all of this new stuff, like having a band, with "praise music", and projectors, and lighting, and mass-produced program pamphlets and everything. I went to a local show at a church once, and they had a huge LOBBY with a CAFE; it blew my mind.

My best friend used to be Catholic, I've gone to church with him a time or two. Definitely very old-fashioned, there. But I find it strange that people who are Catholic always have these stories about loved ones coming to visit them right after they die. Like maybe I should consider converting or something...

Sorry if that's a little too off-topic ;)


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ladyelaine
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31 Jul 2018, 10:22 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
ladyelaine wrote:
It's hard for me to find a pastor I like too. Most of the pastors I had (Catholic or protestant) have sucked and were very full of themselves.

I've seen pastors who are just kind of...I'm not really sure how to explain it. They just seem kind of like in movies, when there's the stereotypical "nutty" Christians. But maybe I'm just not used to all of this new stuff, like having a band, with "praise music", and projectors, and lighting, and mass-produced program pamphlets and everything. I went to a local show at a church once, and they had a huge LOBBY with a CAFE; it blew my mind.

My best friend used to be Catholic, I've gone to church with him a time or two. Definitely very old-fashioned, there. But I find it strange that people who are Catholic always have these stories about loved ones coming to visit them right after they die. Like maybe I should consider converting or something...

Sorry if that's a little too off-topic ;)


I find mega churches to be quite obnoxious and over the top. I prefer traditional catholic churches to the protestant mega churches. I think it is wrong for pastors to get rich off these mega churches. Pastors are supposed to live humble, modest, simple lives and money from the weekly collection should be used to help people in need or run a religious school.



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01 Aug 2018, 6:22 am

My favorite pastor of all time was a Turkish man who lived on the property in an older parsonage. That whole block was a historical section. Pastor L lived his life as a very humble man for Jesus. Worked as a sub teacher too. I left him and his family goodies on his porch sometimes. He struggled....congregation wasn't real giving. He reminded of those guys in the bible that preached in Asia Minor. I didn't even think about us being Baptist. Different vibe.



kraftiekortie
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01 Aug 2018, 6:53 am

Sounds like a good guy.



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01 Aug 2018, 7:37 am

I am what you call a Judaic Christian which is often closer to Judaism. At the moment, I am going to a traditional conservative synagogue but just going to services while not letting the cat out of the bag that I am autistic. I figure if they think I am weird and back off, I just let it happen and invest my time in people who accept me.

The last two congregations I went to were Messianic Jewish synagogues who believe in the bible both old and new while still reading the Torah, keeping kosher, all the Jewish holidays while still believing in Jesus at the Messiah.



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01 Aug 2018, 9:05 am

ladyelaine wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
My last minister was pretty weird but he wasn't the minister when I started. Rather, it was this other man who was not only very accepting and down to earth but he was also an all-out nerd and I was just getting to know him. Then he stepped down and this other elder took over for him and I thought he was cool at first. Then I learned that
1. We had different ideas about the bible
2. He had goofy ideas about how people who go there should "Fit into a mold."
He was incredibly phony and at times mean to the point that he would make me cry.

I left my congregation too because he wanted me to jump through their hoops just to join the music team by socializing more and not asking him if I can join in front of the entire congregation.


That pastor is an as*hole. I'm glad you walked away from that church.


Yeah he was



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01 Aug 2018, 9:30 am

Summer, I used to attend Torah study..great time. Kept kosher too while simultaneously attending church. I liked learning so this was a way to do it. I promised the rabbi that I would not bring my favorite carpenter with me....and I was allowed to visit synagogue too.

My husband is Jewish by birth so hence my curiosity about his mom's beliefs. H converted...Baptist. So we kept that on the down low from everyone else.



ladyelaine
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01 Aug 2018, 5:28 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I am what you call a Judaic Christian which is often closer to Judaism. At the moment, I am going to a traditional conservative synagogue but just going to services while not letting the cat out of the bag that I am autistic. I figure if they think I am weird and back off, I just let it happen and invest my time in people who accept me.

The last two congregations I went to were Messianic Jewish synagogues who believe in the bible both old and new while still reading the Torah, keeping kosher, all the Jewish holidays while still believing in Jesus at the Messiah.


My neighbor is a Messianic Jew. She went to a few different synagogues in nearby cities. She had a lot of the problems that you had with your synagogues. She keeps kosher and does all the prayers and holidays.



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02 Aug 2018, 2:39 pm

I am doing a traditional conservative synagogue at the moment but I am not telling anyone of them that I am autistic and nor am I telling them I am Messianic. Rather, I am going to services and then having lunches along with telling them where I work and what I do. That's it! No more having to explain me to anyone. After what happened at my last synagogue, I don't want to say anything to anyone.