do you feel...

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I can understand that a little more.
However, I have pretty much no experience in learning anything constructive from friendships. The "everybody" I've had friendships with is really just two people, and they pretty much ended without any sort of warning. The everybody that I might've had potential friendships with ended similarly. There were no angry goodbyes, but no acceptant goodbyes either. They just ended due to uncontrollable things before I ever got to that point.

If I've learned anything, it's that having friendships suddenly end makes me feel worse than I did before the friendship started. I don't want to start friendships knowing that I will be all the more closer to going completely insane when (if?) it suddenly ends.

Then again, the alternative is to be imprisoned by my parents and be passed off as being unable to be self-sufficient for the next few years. So I'll probably have to fall into that trap again...*depressed sigh*

I couldn't get to the second page here to read the rest of the responses.
But I just wanted to say that what seems to be missing from my friendships is "currency" I generally want friends so that I can share my thoughts and compare notes on the meaning of life etc.
It seems most people want friends to reassure them. I think this reassurance is the primary currency. Hence flattery will get you everywhere.
The currency has changed for my friends over the years. When I was in highschool and college it was all about having fun and just distracting eachother from the future. Now everyone is getting older and married, and the currency is more "grown up" It all just sort of seems phony to me. I want to confront reality directly and shatter all the hollow notions people hold. I want to break through all the crap and find the truth. I don't ever want to be a "grown-up"
For this reason I feel I am becoming more and more reserved around them, but my very presence just feels like an awful incongruity.

My friends accept me I think, but I am becoming more and more socially bankrupt.

I find that when I try to produce 'friendships' in inverably end up extremely depressed (suicidal in some cases) - therefore I interact with people when I am around them (work, neighbors, etc . . .) and I also have a few people who's company I do enjoy, but I refuse to develop any sort of dependence on them and I have no illusions about they're having any long term attachement to me . . . sometimes it makes me sad that it is this way but then I think about ALL the stress relationships put on me and the fact that they ALWAYS end badly and I think - no, this is better . . .