Turn taking in conversation

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It's the same with my siblings. They always cut me off in my converstations.

I'm absolutely dreadful at this, I don't think I've managed to learn much in the way of conversational skills, especially when it comes to taking turns to speak.

Quite often it will take me long enough to work out the meaning of what has been said and to think of a response that the appropriate moment will have passed - not that I would have necessarily been aware that it was the appropriate moment.

I interrupt a lot and talk over people, or if I'm feeling a bit shy I tend to hover and say nothing.

I'm far better at spotting when other people haven't waited their turn - my bf is the biggest interruptor and conversation dominator that I have ever met and it drives me crazy when he interrupts me! He appears to be completely unaware that he is doing it - when it comes to conversation he's like a louder version of me. Perhaps I should just increase my volume even more than it is already

I usually sit in silence until I get a chance to say anything. This is usually when a third person say "Hey, I think Paul has something to say..."

I actually get cut off more than I cut other people off. I've lost track of all the times when I start saying something and then a second later someone would start talking right over me. I suppose I should just keep talking when they start talking, but my instinct tells me to stop for some reason. I guess my sense of self-importance isn't that high. Or maybe I just need to talk louder.

I have no idea how NTs do this. This is one of the things that makes me think I'm on the spectrum. Whenever somebody in a group conversation says something interesting, it's not unusual for me to have an immediate response that I think is interesting, but plainly the flow of conversation won't allow me to jump in with it. So, I hold on to it, but by the time I perceive an "opening" the topic has changed!! !

From m PoV, it seems like people change topics way too quickly. Then of course since I've been waiting with my one precious thought in my head, I can come out with it, but when I've tried that everybody thinks it makes no sense either because they forgot about what triggered it (so it seems like a total nonsequitur) or they realize it's an old topic (we're sooooo past that).

If anybody has an answer to the mystery of NT group conversation, I'd love to hear it too, although there's a part of me that feels it's shallow and pointless--like never stopping to smell the roses. I've also tried just waiting until somebody looks at me for input, but when they do I usually have no input because the previous conversation didn't stimulate any thoughts.

Yeah...don't ya hate it when that happens?



The way I see it, the topic doesn't usually change outright, it just evolves, so to speak. Just the natural flow of conversation.



That's how I feel. Every time I think I might have solved that "mystery", I find out something new that I'm doing wrong.

I can never really keep up w/ a conversation. I hardly ever talk, and when I do, I never know when to come in, or they move on to another subject. It's frustrating... Which is why I prefer forums and one-on-one conversations