Rejected by Other Nerds!

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Nerds can be a rather castrating lot.

...uhhh...not from my experience...

nerds can be a bunch of f*****g pricks unless you earn their respect.

Earning their respect is too much work, IMHO, just say "f**k them" and find a more laid-back, bohemian, or alternative crowd to hang with. Those people are usually more accepting.

When I was in school I assumed I was a nerd. So I tried associating with the nerds and they rejected me. So I assumed I was an eccentric artist. So I tried associating with the eccentric artists and they rejected me even more. At one point I felt I had found a religious group that I felt I belonged to but over time I found myself feeling rejected by them and alienated. At this point it is so painful for me to even think about that religion that I can't even type the name of it. I think I lack the ability to feel I belong. So even if I found a group that I belonged to, I would not feel that I belonged to it. It's like there's a fundamental human function missing in my brain or psyche when it comes to operating in groups. I feel alienated.

Someone on this board once wrote that it's impossible to play WOW and not make friends. Well I've played for 6 months and made no friends, unless my Wolfpetinger’s Tankard bunny counts!

that's the way I feel too. Always felt this way.

In high school, the nerds were very accepting and I had the best experiences with them. Perhaps because there were so few. 80's.

In college, I majored in computer science. I've learned that computer professionals tend to be the most arrogant, egotistical a**holes on the planet. They love to humiliate the common person or the student who didn't know as much as they did.(That's why I've taken the lower path of being an Engineer. )

Since the mid 90's intelligence has become a higher value especially with the expansion of the Internet. I can imagine there are a lot more nerds out there with many more character flaws. But I think also, from other posts, there are many more out there who know a lot about something but are insecure about others. So they will put you down or exclude you if you don't follow their interests because in it, they are kings. Outside of it, they are idiots.

I had a long post about my relationship with the nerd group during the last few years of highschool - they were territorial and their networking reached back to their parents pushing them to make friends with rich kids and lobbying teachers - but I deleted it. (I'd refer to the posts of lonelyLady and aleclair for a description.)
I had traits and interests that made me half-compatible with different groups but only until months before graduating I ran into a low profile group that kind of accepted me just for showing interest in them - (for the most part) these were the guys that weren't into any sort of power trip.

I'm more interested in saying this:
I've eventually also come into this sort of situation of noticing that I do not fit in with any stereotype-group - also after having tried at different places. I went to over 5 different schools during my childhood, I changed careers, I joined literature forums, gaming communities (the issues I have with gaming communities!), joined a drama group, joined groups to practise different martial arts. . . to name a few.
I've come to the conclusion that the guy harassing people out of the politics section of a forum for being contemptible capitalists has more in common with some online first person shooter elitist or with some of my yuppie wannabe uni classmates than any of them with me. I'm not keen on believing in having some sort a brain illness causing this; the reason seems to exist at another level: I do not easily assimilate stereotypes or paradigms; I'm ready to question everything and am very much distant from that core need of elitism that seems to define them all regardless of their means to this end.
I'm saying it, 'cause I suspect it might be the case of others here including you.
. . .to be able to, say, play a game without making a huge point of superiority over others of it. . . to be able to incorparate it into one's own paradigm rather than to be onself incorporated into someone else's.

I've come to the conclusion that people were giving me the love I crave,
but I just couldn't feel it.

All those people that tried to comfort and console me?
I was inconsolable.

I was never fulfilled as they fulfilled each other.

They noticed immediately or at least noticed finally but they noticed I couldn't or didn't or wouldn't be like them really and well, they didn't like that

I felt 'unstable' and they had to get rid of my energy no matter how much they smiled

They didn't withhold it from me like I thought. . it wasn't even personal.

I just wasn't able to give or get and they didn't didn't get any back from me, either.
Not like they could feel.

I pray for the strength to forgive them, mostly. I didn't realize, I didn't know my part in it all.

Merle

Nerds cover a very wide range of personalities, really. It's hard to give behaviour generalisations about nerds as a group at all.

These nerds just happened to also be jerks. It happens sometimes.

Unfortunately this is the real world. I have been in advanced classes that were like that. And no, "nerds" are not supposed to be accepting, there is no reason why they would all be more accepting than the rest of society. "Nerds" are just another clique like jocks and sorority girls, just different.

OMG! You ARE funny! I know being rejected by NERDs is not funny at all for an AS - but to think of the possibility...how horrible. You are GREAT! Don't think for one minute you are not wonderful. I can hardly wait to hear from you more, much more!