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ShadesOfMe
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08 Feb 2008, 6:18 am

Hell no.



AndersTheAspie
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08 Feb 2008, 11:43 am

Right and wrong are subjective. Weather or not YOU should pay someone to be your friend really depends on this:
What is it that you want from said friend? Simply someone to talk to and possibly help you with your problems? If so then what you are looking for is a therapist. (Those can be bought) If you want companionship, someone to hug when you are feeling sad. Then what you are looking for is a pet (those can be bought as well) If you wan't someone who is your equal however. Someone who will tell you his/her problems as well as listen to yours. Then what you are looking for is a true friend (those cannot be bought I'm afraide)
Hope to have made you think at least.


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dragonboy
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08 Feb 2008, 3:01 pm

you could always try and find a real friend on this site.



Tequila
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09 Feb 2008, 12:21 am

If you have to pay someone to be your 'friend' then they aren't one.



Brittany2907
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09 Feb 2008, 1:50 am

I wouldn't pay for someone to be my friend...it is impossible to buy friendship. If I did do that, I would still not be happy as I would know that they still weren't really my friend, but were only playing the role of it for money.
You are meant to be able to confide in friends and I would find doing so to someone who I was paying to be my friend, really uncomfortable. I would know that they don't really care, so I would gain nothing.


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lotuspuppy
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09 Feb 2008, 2:30 am

I often feel like I pay my therapist to be my friend. It feels wrong, but then again, it's all I can get. Otherwise, I wouldn't, because that person would only be my friend for the money.



psych
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09 Feb 2008, 3:38 pm

Be careful what you wish for..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkSDAB83udo



outlander
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09 Feb 2008, 10:54 pm

richardbenson wrote:
i would. and i really dont see anything wrong with it, nothing too serious of course but just someone to hang out with or whatever

how would you go about getting this all started? i dont know if im really picky about friendship or cautious. obviously i dont want to be friends with crazy dramatic people so i think thats why


Richard,
I am curious and concerned. My impression it that there is some aspect of AS which in your case is interfering with real friendship in your case. I think the question you pose represents innovation and thinking outside the box about this social matter but I think that what you suggest is likely doomed to failure because it is contrary to the definition of friendship.

If I may quote a proverb
Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Unless you happen to live in southwestern Missouri, I am not in a position to be anything more than an internet friend. That being said, I am curious as to why you feel the need to seek this sort of innovation. Working from the proverb above, I am inclined to believe that you are probably trying to be friendly but somehow it isn't being received that way. or possibly when you get a friendship started, something that you are doing is disrupting it.

The latter part of that proverb is indicative of what a real friend is, and I suspect that is the kind of friend you would like to have if you could just find one. Since your profile says you are diagnosed with AS, I suspect that it is a manifestation of the AS that is at the root of the problem. But if AS is part of the definition of who you are, and is interfering with friendship, then finding a "work around" is what you need and paying for a friend is a work around but a very poor one.

I would suggest posting about what you want/need in a friendship and what seems to go wrong for you and then ask for suggestions. You should get plenty of them, some will be golden, and some will suck. It would be a good post and you along with a lot of us will probably learn a bit more.


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GoatOnFire
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10 Feb 2008, 1:33 am

I'm a bit of a shylock but I admit that it would be nice to have someone sit with me in the cafeteria instead of always being so conspicuously alone, it'd also be nice to have someone to talk to at some times.


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0_equals_true
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10 Feb 2008, 12:50 pm

A therapist is not a friend. They are someone you pay to moan at :D Part of the reason why I'm going back with my old shrink is because I'm stressed but I don't want to moan to my friends and I don't want to moan to you guys. As soon as a shrink becomes like a friend it would be difficult to to do that. I love my shrink for her professionalism. She does go "But I'm human too" but I'm having none of it.



ShadesOfMe
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10 Feb 2008, 3:51 pm

Tequila wrote:
If you have to pay someone to be your 'friend' then they aren't one.


EXACTLY! you can't buy friends.



richardbenson
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12 Feb 2008, 8:21 pm

outlander wrote:
Richard,
I am curious and concerned. My impression it that there is some aspect of AS which in your case is interfering with real friendship in your case.
well yes me and jesus are good friends already im shure. and i thought having troubles with friendships was apart of aspergers? thanks for the offer but i live in arizona. i guess im just really loney but dont want to admit it or am an extreme freindship snob, i cant tell. i have been living my life on the computer for the last couple of years off and on and im just getting tired of it, plus its making me fat :lol:

i have had offeres from people in my area but they turned out to be crazy in my opinion, i still havent met nutbag and she really doesnt seem intrested.


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Kilroy
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12 Feb 2008, 9:42 pm

been there
it adds up



hale_bopp
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13 Feb 2008, 12:00 am

No, never. I'd rather be lonely. The thought of someone being there that doesn't want to be is much worse than having no-one.



Tequila
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13 Feb 2008, 8:05 am

hale_bopp wrote:
No, never. I'd rather be lonely. The thought of someone being there that doesn't want to be is much worse than having no-one.


Plus, there are loads of fellow lonely people here to bother. And you get that for free.



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13 Feb 2008, 12:30 pm

richardbenson wrote:
i would. and i really dont see anything wrong with it, nothing too serious of course but just someone to hang out with or whatever

and please dont tell me you'd never do it because you arent that desperate and its pathetic to pay for freindship. if thats your view dont reply

how would you go about getting this all started? i dont know if im really picky about friendship or cautious. obviously i dont want to be friends with crazy dramatic people so i think thats why


My first reaction to this was, well they can't be your friend if you have to pay them!

But... in a way lot's of people who are friends want or get something off you. If it's not money, it might be being able to hang out with you because you have an xbox 360, or because you are well socially connected or are the only one with a car or because you always buy the drinks at the bar. These people aren't great friends but the line is certainly blurry. The payment might not be of monetary value but it could be in some other 'social currency'.